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Attention, NWO

Lukraak_Sisser said:
Oh while I'm here, a few vials of project Omega-4 seem to have gone missing, so when you go for your inoculations please give the correct secret handshake so you get the REAL antidote
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Considering what the Omega-4 did to my hands, that's not going to be feasible.
 
kookbreaker said:
By the way folks, the following weapons were never issued last year and according to bylaw 77-2a they become available on a first come, first serve basis.

311 Cat Guns (33 Kitten sized)
1,312 NWO Ninja Swords
12 Jedi-mind trick belts (female sizes only)
33,000 deathbeam sunglasses
22 Leftover Excalibers
1 Excaliber Duplicator (slightly damaged, needs word)
12 M3A3 MegaTanks
2 Satellite Death Beams, unlaunched
88 Deadly sticks
14 tons, Nanothermite
1 Certified "Moloch-buster" gun. Confiscated. No ammo available.
823 False Flags
4 Telekinetic Brains-in-jars

Please make requisitions at the Arsenal.
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*returns from her meeting plucking feathers out of various locations and spots the list*

Dibs on the swords, the Jedi-mind trick belts, and the "Moloch-buster" gun.

*sends requesition request to the arsenal*
 
Jontg said:
... if we can bring him the head of Linus Torvalds he'll work it into the next Office update, too.
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Just send him the head of Linus Van Pelt. That twit won't know the difference!
 
While we are on the subject....will the NWO commisary be carrying "human skins" in the extra large sizes this year? I put on a little weight, and you all should know what a mess we reptoids make of our "suits" every time we shed. (Walmart only has small, medium and large at the moment.)
 
I specifically ordered enough Investigate 9/11 shirts lined with itching powder and the swine flu virus for the entire truth movement and damn it, I didn't get them yet.

As department head of Hijinks and Shennanigans, I demand my 13 shirts.
 
Unsecured Coins said:
I specifically ordered enough Investigate 9/11 shirts lined with itching powder and the swine flu virus for the entire truth movement and damn it, I didn't get them yet.

As department head of Hijinks and Shennanigans, I demand my 13 shirts.
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How very thoughtful, UC. Two for every one and just one leftover for yourself. I don't care what the official NWO memo said, you're a nice guy.
 
We have a serious problem.

I've discovered that ElMondoHummus in ACCTG Zeta-13 hasn't been following GAAP when posting transactions from the general journal to the ledgers.

There are violations of the cost principle, and he's also been floating funds earmarked for the refurbishment of the HAARP station to some other unknown purpose.

I invoke the Creed of Moloch Article XLIII, Sec. 32.

Also, I specifically remember ordering four-column ledger paper and a flamethrower-equipped Mr. Gutsy AI for general office "as assigned" work. Not only have I not received my requisitions, but department heads seemed to have comped themselves brand new Transmogrifiers this FY. The old Siemens model was only a year old, and well within its lifecycle.

It's this kind of wasteful allocation of resources that is going to make Operation Wackenschoedl far more difficult to pull off than it should be.

JoeyDonuts
NWO Fraud, Waste, and Abuse Hotline
General Accounting Sector Gamma-14
 
We have an alert for any agents who have NOT Read the Black-4-3-3- Circular.

If I have to, I'll send an plushie to your house equipped with the latest, but I need those responses in by tommorow at midnight. or I'll have to give your names to the Woman who watches.

And you all know why that's bad.
 
Rika said:
We have an alert for any agents who have NOT Read the Black-4-3-3- Circular.

If I have to, I'll send an plushie to your house equipped with the latest, but I need those responses in by tommorow at midnight. or I'll have to give your names to the Woman who watches.

And you all know why that's bad.
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Meh - I've had that happen to me, and it's not that bad. Actually, it's a little erotic.
 
I would like to report a code PSK-KDS-4 in my area of operations. A green/blue van with orange highlights, containing 4 adolescents and a big dog has appeared.
They are asking about the project and I'm running out of red herrings to feed them, can a cleanup team be sent?
 
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