In one of the apocryphal gospels, someone did. It's the Gospel of James (may also be known by other names). A skeptical midwife checks Mary out after the birth. Her hand becomes withered; she repents, and her hand is restored. The gospel also affirms that Mary was a perpetual virgin. Given the withering propensities of her naughty bits (holy bits?), I'm not at all surprised.
BTW I think this is an accurate description of the Virgin Postpartum Pelvic Exam in the Gospel of St. James, but I don't have my apocryphal NT about my person, so I can't check right now.
So that's why we have the OT thundering, slaughtering and destroying god vs the NT forgiving and mild god.
Here's James:
"And the midwife cried aloud and said: Great unto me to-day is this day, in that ! have seen this new sight. 3 And the midwife went forth of the cave and Salome met her. And she said to her: Salome, Salome, a new sight have I to tell thee. A virgin hath brought forth, which her nature alloweth not. And Salome said: As the Lord my God liveth, if I make not trial and prove her nature I will not believe that a virgin hath brought forth.
XX. 1 And the midwife went in and said unto Mary: Order thyself, for there is no small contention arisen concerning thee. Arid Salome made trial and cried out and said: Woe unto mine iniquity and mine unbelief, because I have tempted the living God, and lo, my hand falleth away from me in fire. And she bowed her knees unto the Lord, saying: O God of my fathers, remember that I am the seed of Abraham and Isaac and Jacob: make me not a public example unto the children of Israel, but restore me unto the poor, for thou knowest, Lord, that in thy name did I perform my cures, and did receive my hire of thee. 3 And lo, an angel of the Lord appeared, saying unto her: Salome, Salome, the Lord hath hearkened to thee: bring thine hand near unto the young child and take him up, and there shall be unto thee salvation and joy. 4 And Salome came near and took him up, saying: I will do him worship, for a great king is born unto Israel. And behold immediately Salome was healed:"
http://wesley.nnu.edu/biblical_studies/noncanon/gospels/gosjames.htm