I said any influence from God seemed not apparent. The guy was one of the many guys my moms friends introduced her to - they wanted her to meet someone who could make her happy.
I never said that. In that situation it seemed more pragmatic - it wasn't like she was praying for another husband and the next day the dude showed up on the doorstep with a ring.
Because to many, many Christians God is not just some sort of magical wish granter - answered prayers aren't the only thing Christians approach God for. For my mom (judging from the diary she left behind) belief in God and her relationship with Him and her understanding about how uniquely special she was to Him helped rebuild her self-esteem. Her belief in God gave her the inner strength to kick that guy out on his ass (probably one of the first times in her life she stood up like that) and this time around be on her own at her choice.
Because I don't believe we are simply puppets - God gives us plenty of leeway to live our lives. Maybe you think otherwise - I don't know. You probably don't believe at all.
See, this is a healthier attitude about the whole thing than Kathy is spouting. "God helps those who help themselves." Your mom managed her life as best she could on her own. When things went south, she leaned on her faith in God to give her the strength to get herself out of the situation, not to wait for him to magically rescue her. In her case, it was her faith that helped her recover her self-esteem; it could easily have been a therapist or social worker instead.
For what it's worth, I salute your mother. She must have been a strong, brave, and resourceful woman (I use past tense because you talk about her in the past tense; if she's still alive, share a toast of her favorite beverage with her for me).
If Kathy were in your mother's place, she'd be there still, convinced that she deserves the abuse and thanking her sick god for inflicting it on her to beat the sin out of her. THAT is sick.
I don't know how to reconcile these two opposing viewpoints of Christianity. I was raised Catholic. In my Catholic school, they tended to emphasize the "whatsoever you do to the least of my brethren, that you do unto me" aspect of Jesus. There was no push to evangelize; it was considered best if we led others to Christ by being such a good, loving, caring group that people would want to join us.
Many years later, long after I had left the church, the congregation was voluntarily bringing food, helping me clean the house, and offering to do the laundry while my mother was struggling to survive a liver transplant and attendant complications. My roommate's sister-in-law had the same type of assistance from her Lutheran (Dutch Reform) congregation, adding in help with two children, while she was struggling with Non-Hodgekins Lymphoma. So some Christians do take the whole "works" thing seriously.
On the other hand, we had a priest who stood at the pulpit on Mother's Day ranting about Eve, that sexy, sleazy slut who caused the downfall of all mankind, but we should thank her anyway because she ultimately gave birth to all mankind. (WTF?!?!?) We have far too many Catholic priests and Baptist ministers (and youth ministers) who molest children. And we have KK, who comes in here bleating alternately how we're all worthless garbage, but God loves us and Jesus will save us, but if we don't let him, then God will torture us for all eternity.
Kathy: Fear DOES NOT equal love.
