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drug testing your teen...

thatguywhojuggles

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T
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Feb 9, 2002
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I stumbled across this website: http://www.drugtestyourteen.com where a parent can order drug testing supplies and test their kids for any number of drugs.

It seems like asking your kid to piss in a cup would create a lot of anger regardless if they were doing drugs or not. But not being a parent, I don't have a perspective on it.

My question is to all the parents here; Would you ask your consider testing your kid for drugs if you suspected they were using?
 
In a word, yes.

You are correct in proposing that the parent must be careful in maintaining the bond of trust between themselves and the child but trust is a two-way street.

If I thought my otherwise-funtioning teenaged daughter (she's 4 now, so this is a bit of a hypothetical) had smoked pot, I would have a tough discussion but I think testing would be over the line unless she challenged me to it. OTOH. if I thought my 9-year-old was doing the same, I would probably take her to a doctor for the test. If my teen was spiralling out-of-control and I suspected hard drug use, I would do it in a heartbeat - though at that point I would probably more interested in which drug she was using rather than if she was using.
 
thatguywhojuggles said:
I stumbled across this website: http://www.drugtestyourteen.com where a parent can order drug testing supplies and test their kids for any number of drugs.

It seems like asking your kid to piss in a cup would create a lot of anger regardless if they were doing drugs or not. But not being a parent, I don't have a perspective on it.

My question is to all the parents here; Would you ask your consider testing your kid for drugs if you suspected they were using?
Click to expand...

Cylinders comments notwithstanding, I have a 'drug kit' in my walkin closet. It's been there, unused, for the last 5 years. Each of my teenages know it's there. So far, no signs. And if any parent can recognize a sign, it's me. And I will use it if I think warranted, covertly at first (ask how), then, if positive, overtly.
 
Rob Lister said:
Cylinders comments notwithstanding, I have a 'drug kit' in my walkin closet. It's been there, unused, for the last 5 years. Each of my teenages know it's there. So far, no signs. And if any parent can recognize a sign, it's me. And I will use it if I think warranted, covertly at first (ask how), then, if positive, overtly.
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Mine is above the Fridge. My kid has been told I will test him randomly. I haven't done it yet.
 
thatguywhojuggles said:
I stumbled across this website: http://www.drugtestyourteen.com where a parent can order drug testing supplies and test their kids for any number of drugs.

It seems like asking your kid to piss in a cup would create a lot of anger regardless if they were doing drugs or not. But not being a parent, I don't have a perspective on it.

My question is to all the parents here; Would you ask your consider testing your kid for drugs if you suspected they were using?
Click to expand...

If you suspect they are doing it, they are doing it.
If you think they aren't doing it, they are doing it.
If they test positive for doing it, you have learned nothing you didn't already not want to know.
 
fishbob said:
If you suspect they are doing it, they are doing it.
If you think they aren't doing it, they are doing it.
If they test positive for doing it, you have learned nothing you didn't already not want to know.
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Is this supported by any facts? I turned 20 last December and haven't once touched drugs.
 
Something about this attitude worries me.
 
I haven't ever considered it, but I can see situations where it might be warranted. I would never do it covertly though. If I'm concerned enough to run a drug test, we need to have a long talk about my concerns.
 
What's the concern? If they have nothing to hide, then they have nothing to fear. Most jobs today drug-test anyway, so you're just getting the kid prepared for R/L.
 
fishbob said:
How do you know when teenagers are lying to you?

Their lips move.
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That was responsive of you.

Well I have some facts. This Canadian Campus survey (2004) reports 32.1% of students using marijuana in the past year, and 16.7% in the past month. For illicit drugs other than cannabis it's 8.7% in the past year and 2.2% in the past month.

This analysis focuses on kids from Grades 7-9.
About 18.2% of Canadian students in grades 7 to 9 reported using cannabis at least once in their lifetime. Lifetime use of any other illicit drug was found to be 6.1% nationally.
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Your generalizations aren't even close to justified.
 
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Tony said:
You must have a nazi flag hanging in your house.
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You know web, I apologize for making this inflammatory statement, it was said in anger. However, I think the attitude you exhibited is the mark of a despot and has no place in free society. It sends the wrong signal to kids.
 
Cylinder said:
In a word, yes.

You are correct in proposing that the parent must be careful in maintaining the bond of trust between themselves and the child but trust is a two-way street.
QUOTE]

I can't see how you'd go about this without breaking the bond of trust. The first person that I knew to take drugs when I was at school had parents who would search his room and test him for drugs on a random basis. After a couple of years of this, he decided that if they were going to think the worst of him, he may as well start taking drugs.

I know that regular searches / tests aren't what people here are proposing, but it still seems like a very heavy-handed approach to me.
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I'm a parent, and I would drug test if I thought my kids were doing drugs and lying about it. It would take a high degree of suspicion, and getting the runaround and evasions from talks, but I wouldn't hesitate if I thought it necessary. Not to sound harsh, but I suspect that the people in this thread who are getting all outraged about the thought of parents testing their kids are either very young, have no children, or are using drugs themselves and don't feel right about judging others who do.

I grew up in the "free love and drugs" '60's. Drugs were easily and constantly available, and yet I have never used drugs (other than alcholhol on social occasions). I was known as "Captain America" in school because I was so straight arrow. No one even offered me drugs because they were probably afraid I would turn them in (I probably wouldn't, but they were right to worry, I suppose). I knew that doing drugs would bring shame on my family, disappoint and hurt my parents, and could set a terrible example for my brother. I knew it wasn't all about me and what I want. I see no reason not to hold my kids to the same standard as I held and still hold myself.

A member of a family has to be incredibly selfish to take illegal substances just to feel good. It affects the entire family, not just yourself. Parents have a responsibility to guide their children and keep them from going places that can ruin their lives. Kids have a responsibility to their parents and their siblings not to drag the whole family down with them for their own selfish ends.

Oh, and kids under 18 do not have the right to live their lives without any interference from parents.
 
Tony said:
Kids aren't people, they have no rights. Didn't you hear? Kids are chattel.
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That's it? There is no middle ground between "people" and "chattel"? It's not possible that adolescents might fit into some fuzzy area in between fully functioning members of society and slaves? Which might be why they aren't given the vote? Or the right to drive? Or the right to drink (in some countries)?

Unemancipated children don't have all the rights that adults do. I personally hope I don't ever feel the need to test my children for drugs, but I don't begrudge other parents who feel they do. And if I ever do, I will.

As a parent I don't think I'm out of line when I restrict my children's diet, their activities, their curfew, their friends, their allowance or their behavior. As a matter of fact, I think that's part of my job as a parent. If a drug test could help my parenting more than it hurts my relationship with my children, I'll use it.
 
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