Marriage advice by the Bible!

[PetriFB]

Jari Iivanainen has wrote very interesting article about marriage advice:

http://koti.phnet.fi/elohim/help_to_marriage

When a man or a woman find a spouse for themselves, they may marry thinking, that they will live "happily ever after". They may think, that nothing can disturb their happiness, and that their life together will be like sunshine every day without any clouds. They might also doubt that their relationship would have any serious problems, because everything has gone so well so far.

However, the fact is that we live in an imperfect and fallen world in which nothing is as it was when Adam and Eve lived together in paradise. In practise this imperfection means, that when people get together, they also bring to the marriage their own difficult personalities and especially their selfishness, which is a result of the Fall of man and certainly the biggest reason of homes breaking up these days. If we don't want to be freed from this selfishness, it can greatly harm the relationship.

In any case, through the following pages we are going to deal with this area especially in the light of the Bible. We are going to concentrate on those common mistakes and ways of doing things which we might be guilty of because we haven't seen them in ourselves, nobody has ever told us about them or because we have not understood them in the light of the Bible. If you notice any of the issues we are going to bring up in your own life, you can be freed from them; especially if you ask for God’s help.

 

[Huntster]

...When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls. Her husband, entrusting his heart to her, has an unfailing prize. She brings him good, and not evil, all the days of her life. She obtains wool and flax and makes cloth with skillful hands. Like merchant ships, she secures her provisions from afar. She rises while it is still night, and distributes food to her household. She picks out a field to purchase; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She is girt about with strength, and sturdy are her arms. She enjoys the success of her dealings; at night her lamp is undimmed. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her fingers ply the spindle. She reaches out her hands to the poor, and extends her arms to the needy. She fears not the snow for her household; all her charges are doubly clothed. She makes her own coverlets; fine linen and purple are her clothing. Her husband is prominent at the city gates as he sits with the elders of the land. She makes garments and sells them, and stocks the merchants with belts. She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs at the days to come. She opens her mouth in wisdom, and on her tongue is kindly counsel. She watches the conduct of her household, and eats not her food in idleness. Her children rise up and praise her; her husband, too, extols her: "Many are the women of proven worth, but you have excelled them all." Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting; the woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her a reward of her labors, and let her works praise her at the city gates....

Proverbs 31:10-31.

 

[PetriFB]

In the Bible sure is great advice to marriage life ..amen .....

 

[Huntster]

The best advice.

 

[Zep]

Of course, it does recommend polygamy.

Genesis 26:34: And Esau was forty years old when he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Bashemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite.

 

[Zep]

And wives are actually no better than slaves or even animals.

Exodus 20:17: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

 

[Huntster]

Of course, it does recommend polygamy.

Genesis 26:34: And Esau was forty years old when he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Bashemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite.

Well, even though that was a long time before Christ, I'm not too terribly opposed to the concept of polygamy.

However, Mrs. Huntster is.

She wins.

 

[Zep]

How to get yourself a wife, and ditch her if you don't like her, Biblical style:

Deuteronomy, 21:11 And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife;
21:12 Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house, and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails;
21:13 And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in thine house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month: and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife.
21:14 And it shall be, if thou have no delight in her, then thou shalt let her go whither she will; but thou shalt not sell her at all for money, thou shalt not make merchandise of her, because thou hast humbled her.

 

[Huntster]

And wives are actually no better than slaves or even animals.

Exodus 20:17: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

I don't have any "manservants" or "maidservants", so I couldn't tell you about that.

We've got animals galore here, though. They seem to need as much maintenance as Mrs. Huntster.

But Mrs. Huntster shines like the sun. The critters don't.

That makes her a whole bunch better to me.

 

[Zep]

A litle bit of Brother Lee Love...

Deuteronomy, 25:5: If brethren dwell together, and one of them die, and have no child, the wife of the dead shall not marry without unto a stranger: her husband's brother shall go in unto her, and take her to him to wife, and perform the duty of an husband's brother unto her.

 

[Zep]

I don't have any "manservants" or "maidservants", so I couldn't tell you about that.

We've got animals galore here, though. They seem to need as much maintenance as Mrs. Huntster.

But Mrs. Huntster shines like the sun. The critters don't.

That makes her a whole bunch better to me.

Doesn't matter how wonderful a person she is - she's been categorised with them, biblically.

 

[Zep]

Well, even though that was a long time before Christ, I'm not too terribly opposed to the concept of polygamy.

However, Mrs. Huntster is.

She wins.

Saved for posterity.

Mind you, there are plenty of astoundingly patronising rules and regs in the Bible for dealing with multiple wives and many concubines (the Partiarchs had plenty of them too).

 

[Huntster]

How to get yourself a wife, and ditch her if you don't like her, Biblical style:

Deuteronomy, 21:11 And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife;
21:12 Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house, and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails;
21:13 And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in thine house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month: and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife.
21:14 And it shall be, if thou have no delight in her, then thou shalt let her go whither she will; but thou shalt not sell her at all for money, thou shalt not make merchandise of her, because thou hast humbled her.

Go ahead. Give it a try.

You adhere to your Bible, I'll adhere to mine.

 

[StewartP]

When Fiona and I married we were tru bleevers and attended a Baptist church. We went on a week long marriage seminar before the wedding, and I truly believe it gave us a solid foundation to our marriage. They covered the issues of how your feelings toward each other will change and how to make sure that love strengthens and depens with the passing of time. It was made clear before we were married that a relationship and a household is something that requires work, from both parties.

20 years later we are more in love than ever. Our understanding of the world has changed and matured, we no longer need the big sky fairy to look after us, but we are rock solid, and for that I thank the Baptist church's marriage guidance. All the stuff that they recommended we do "under the guidance of God" still stands true, just that now its under our own guidance.

ETA: To get back to PetriFB's OP, thanks to the church (and therefore perhaps the bible) we went into our marriage eyes wide open, aware of what was to come.
Perhaps pre marital councelling should be offered, free, outside of the church. Most people get driving lessons before they get their driving permit after all.

 

[Huntster]

Originally Posted by Huntster :
Well, even though that was a long time before Christ, I'm not too terribly opposed to the concept of polygamy.

However, Mrs. Huntster is.

She wins.

Saved for posterity.

Oh, feel free to advertise. Please, make it sig line material. There's no doubt about it, at least here.

Mind you, there are plenty of astoundingly patronising rules and regs in the Bible for dealing with multiple wives and many concubines (the Partiarchs had plenty of them too).

Do you claim that the Patriarchs were sinless?

I don't.

And, then, maybe it wasn't a sin.

Ever consider that, Plato?

 

[Zep]

Go ahead. Give it a try.

You adhere to your Bible, I'll adhere to mine.

This one's yours. That's the one we are discussing here. Do you disagree with any of it? Do you intend to defy any of it? If so, please explain.

 

[Lothian]

The bible is indeed a source of great wisdom.

Ephesians
5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, …
5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife

Colossians
3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands

Peter
3:1 ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands
3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel

 

[Zep]

When Fiona and I married we were tru bleevers and attended a Baptist church. We went on a week long marriage seminar before the wedding, and I truly believe it gave us a solid foundation to our marriage. They covered the issues of how your feelings toward each other will change and how to make sure that love strengthens and depens with the passing of time. It was made clear before we were married that a relationship and a household is something that requires work, from both parties.

20 years later we are more in love than ever. Our understanding of the world has changed and matured, we no longer need the big sky fairy to look after us, but we are rock solid, and for that I thank the Baptist church's marriage guidance. All the stuff that they recommended we do "under the guidance of God" still stands true, just that now its under our own guidance.

ETA: To get back to PetriFB's OP, thanks to the church (and therefore perhaps the bible) we went into our marriage eyes wide open, aware of what was to come.
Perhaps pre marital councelling should be offered, free, outside of the church. Most people get driving lessons before they get their driving permit after all.

I'd suggest you got good marriage counselling regardless of the fact that it was a religious group giving it, not because it was. The fact you are now not religious but still find value in the original instruction testifies fairly solidly to that, don't you agree?

 

[Zep]

Do you claim that the Patriarchs were sinless?

I don't.

And, then, maybe it wasn't a sin.

Ever consider that, Plato?

I'm not claiming anything. You and PetriFB are doing all the claiming here. I'm just providing facts.

Plato - that's a dishwashing liquid, isn't it?

PS. Your helmet is probably too tight.

 

[Huntster]

Originally Posted by Huntster :
Well, even though that was a long time before Christ, I'm not too terribly opposed to the concept of polygamy.

However, Mrs. Huntster is.

She wins.

This one's yours.

Which one is that?

Do you disagree with any of it?

I might.

Do you have a problem with that?

Do you intend to defy any of it?

I might.

I might just "sin," too.

If so, please explain.

Ummmmmmmmmmm.....No.