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Newest shuttle conspiracy theory. It's true.

Timothy

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T
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Mar 1, 2005
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542
On NPR this morning:

Sensational headline "Huge Asteroid Closes in on Earth."

(Silly explanation later that it won't come closer than the Moon, and that you'll need a good telescope to see it.)

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On CNN this morning:

NASA Head Michael Griffith approving Shuttle launch, overriding NASA Chief Engineer and NASA Safety Administrator's insistance that it's not safe. Everything seems like a headlong, breakneck schedule to get the Shuttle launched at all costs.

Crew includes a woman.

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CLEARLY, the asteroid is headed directly toward Earth, and will destroy all life within a few days, and the Shuttle crew MUST BE LAUNCHED REGARDLESS OF THE SAFETY IMPLICATIONS so that they can live at the ISS until they can return and repopulate the Earth.

It's been nice knowing you guys.

Goodbye. *sniff*

- Timothy
 
Oh no, I'm not gonna fall for that one -- 'fessing up to all the stuff I've done in my life (shoot JFK, fix the 2002 Super Bowl, etc.) only to have nothing happen. With my luck, the damn asteroid will miss and we'll all live.
 
This is such a bogus claim. How can there be a shuttle be sent to stop the asteroid when Bruce Willis is busy filming Die Hard 4? It just can't happen people.
 
bob_kark said:
This is such a bogus claim. How can there be a shuttle be sent to stop the asteroid when Bruce Willis is busy filming Die Hard 4? It just can't happen people.
Click to expand...

They left out Harrison Ford and Robert Redford, too.
 
Obviously, the same people who can proove that we couldn't have landed people on the Moon, because it's so hard...

...think the Shuttle has so much extra performance that it can rendezvous with an Earth-crossing asteroid.

Please tell me you're just making this up.
 
Meffy said:
Bruce Willis? Harris- who???

PAT ROBERTSON, people! And his bare, registered-as-deadly-weapons feet.
Click to expand...

You're forgetting, Robertson doesn't need a space shuttle. His legs are powerful enough to shoot him into space. He's actually unable to jump on a trampoline without an oxygen mask.
 
bob_kark said:
You're forgetting, Robertson doesn't need a space shuttle. His legs are powerful enough to shoot him into space. He's actually unable to jump on a trampoline without an oxygen mask.
Click to expand...

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Pat Robertson allows to live.
 
bob_kark said:
You're forgetting, Robertson doesn't need a space shuttle. His legs are powerful enough to shoot him into space. He's actually unable to jump on a trampoline without an oxygen mask.
Click to expand...
Um... no, I didn't forget! I just didn't mention "hold the shuttle." *nodnod*
 
Meffy said:
Bruce Willis? Harris- who???

PAT ROBERTSON, people! And his bare, registered-as-deadly-weapons feet.
Click to expand...

Pat Robertson doesn't believe in preventing disasters, merely praying that they hit all the homosexuals.
 
General "Buck" Turgidson: Doctor, you mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment of the so-called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?

Dr. Strangelove: Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.

Ambassador de Sadesky: I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor.
Dr. Strangelove
 
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