Merged (edited) General thoughts about Christianity and the bible

[turingtest]

Won't you roll away the stone (sha na na na push push), won't you roll away the stone?

That stone just keeps on rolling, bringing me some real bad news- takers get the honey, givers sing the blues.

 

[theprestige]

But who attests to Rusty, eh?

It's Rusties all the way down.

 

[P.J. Denyer]

Mine are out of control this year. QED.

The way he's going all our houses will look like Sleeping Beauty's castle. Still, at least he'll have evidence for one fairy tale!

 

[Foster Zygote]

We have genealogies from Adam to Jesus.
Are those fictitious people with fictional lives?

We have one genealogy going back to Adam and another going back to Abraham. The overlapping parts don't match, because they were invented by their respective authors.

 

[SpuriusMaximus]

Speaking of excrement, I don't think people properly appreciate the sheer amount of faeces that 2 million people produce a day. The rear of the column will be knee deep in what the ones in front produced. Do that for 40 years in a desert? Man, that strip would be the most fertile land ever. You'd have a swathe of luxurious palm trees from the Red Sea to Israel

 

[P.J. Denyer]

Speaking of excrement, I don't think people properly appreciate the sheer amount of faeces that 2 million people produce a day. The rear of the column will be knee deep in what the ones in front produced. Do that for 40 years in a desert? Man, that strip would be the most fertile land ever. You'd have a swathe of luxurious palm trees from the Red Sea to Israel

It'd be even worse since they were moving so slowly they were practically stationary.

 

[Steve]

Speaking of excrement, I don't think people properly appreciate the sheer amount of faeces that 2 million people produce a day. The rear of the column will be knee deep in what the ones in front produced. Do that for 40 years in a desert? Man, that strip would be the most fertile land ever. You'd have a swathe of luxurious palm trees from the Red Sea to Israel

Now that is some interesting science. Makes the thread (almost) worthwhile. And doesn't even include the production from their livestock.

 

[SpuriusMaximus]

Now that is some interesting science. Makes the thread (almost) worthwhile. And doesn't even include the production from their livestock.

Yeah, I was deliberately lowballing it by sticking to even just the humans.

 

[SpuriusMaximus]

It'd be even worse since they were moving so slowly they were practically stationary.

Or going in circles, or whatever. Still the same idea. Whatever area they were going 'round and 'round like the wheels on the bus, would be elevated by several metres of fertile soil

 

[Tristan Chi]

Reminds me of when I met a gin soaked, bar-room queen in Memphis
She tried to take me upstairs for a ride
She had to heave me right across her shoulder
'Cause I just can't seem to drink you off my mind

 

[Steve]

Were you home schooled?

Just curious.

"schooled"???

 

[P.J. Denyer]

The 200 miles from Egypt to Canaan works out to 72 foot per day over 40 years.

(In reality archaeologists have traced the spread of the Jewish religion among the native Canaanites where it first appeared by examining middens and noting when pork and shellfish disappeared from their diets)

 

[P.J. Denyer]

Or going in circles, or whatever. Still the same idea. Whatever area they were going 'round and 'round like the wheels on the bus, would be elevated by several metres of fertile soil

I have previously pointed out that Sat Nav is the real saviour without which we are lost.

ETA: You'd think they'd have noticed

"I think we've been here before"

"What makes you say that?"

"The three foot deep lake of ◊◊◊◊"

 

[Steve]

How does it feel?
How does it feel?
To be without a home?
Like a complete unknown?
Like a rolling stone?

 

[Darat]

We have genealogies from Adam to Jesus.
Are those fictitious people with fictional lives?

We know with 100% certainty that most of them were fictitious:

Adam 930 years
Seth 912 years
Enosh 905 years
Kenan 910 years
Mahalalel 895 years
Jared 962 years
Methuselah 969 years

Humans do not live to those ages.

 

[Darat]

It'd be even worse since they were moving so slowly they were practically stationary.

Speaking of excrement, I don't think people properly appreciate the sheer amount of faeces that 2
million people produce a day. The rear of the column will be knee deep in what the ones in front produced. Do that for 40 years in a desert? Man, that strip would be the most fertile land ever. You'd have a swathe of luxurious palm trees from the Red Sea to Israel

It's this that gives lie to the single source of water - how long would it take over a million people to have one drink from one source. Something doesn't add up....

 

[Darat]

Or going in circles, or whatever. Still the same idea. Whatever area they were going 'round and 'round like the wheels on the bus, would be elevated by several metres of fertile soil

Ah but you are forgetting the circles they were going in were special biblical circles with π = 3...

 

[P.J. Denyer]

Ah but you are forgetting the circles they were going in were special biblical circles with π = 3...

That would explain how they managed to get so lost.

 

[SpuriusMaximus]

Of course, God replacing Job's wealth and getting him new wife and kids makes it better, because it was just replacing property. And of course God was perfectly within his (obviously s man) rights to do what he wanted with his property, which was Job and everything else.

Just as a clarification, all that replacement exists only in rabinical fanfic. In the actual Bible God does no such thing.

 

[jimbob]

Just as a clarification, all that replacement exists only in rabinical fanfic. In the actual Bible God does no such thing.

I haven't read it since the 1980s so I might have got some stuff wrong.