Trump's Second Term

[Norman Alexander]

Just remember what he said about shooting someone down on Fifth Avenue. I wonder how that would go IRL.

If by some chance it ever happens to be Trump leading the way by shooting himself first, I'm good.

 

[Skeptic Ginger]

What a ◊◊◊◊

Trump: "What a great honor to get those Purple Hearts. I guess in a certain way it wasn't that easy for me either, when you think of it."

https://twitter.com/x/status/1953565014922555850

He claims now to have a purple heart? Is that where his bone spurs came from?

 

[Norman Alexander]

He claims now to have a purple heart? Is that where his bone spurs came from?

More to the point, are the MAGA military going to call him out on it?

 

[EHocking]

More to the point, are the MAGA military going to call him out on it?

It was three MAGA military veterans that gave The Donald their own purple hearts in honour of his survival of last year’s “assassination attempt”.

 

[Skeptic Ginger]

It was three MAGA military veterans that gave The Donald their own purple hearts in honour of his survival of last year’s “assassination attempt”.

Oh yeah. He's probably in the first stages of fusing that into in fantasy.

 

[Armitage72]

Oh yeah. He's probably in the first stages of fusing that into in fantasy.

It's like the episode of MASH in which Frank Burns applied for a Purple Heart after getting a shell fragment in his eye after an attack on the camp. An egg shell fragment.

 

[EHocking]

Oh yeah. He's probably in the first stages of fusing that into in fantasy.

Oh, it is interpreted by both him and the donors that he deserved a Purple Heart for risking his life for his country.

They seem to have forgotten he called servicemen that died in battle losers and suckers, and also said that those wounded in battle should not be included in any military/commemorative parades.

MAGA! MAGA! MAGA!

 

[P.J. Denyer]

If by some chance it ever happens to be Trump leading the way by shooting himself first, I'm good.

No, that's how it ends. Still at least he's already got the bunker.

 

[The Great Zaganza]

Kill Hitler

xkcd.com

 

[P.J. Denyer]

He claims now to have a purple heart? Is that where his bone spurs came from?

Maybe when he spent 'his Vietnam' dodging STD's in NYC he got a bout?

 

[P.J. Denyer]

If by some chance it ever happens to be Trump leading the way by shooting himself first, I'm good.

Actually, maybe there's a chance. Could someone give him a Luger really covered in really tacky 'gold' plating?

 

[Mojo]

No, that's how it ends. Still at least he's already got the bunker.

Yes, but his caddy will drop a ball outside it.

 

[P.J. Denyer]

It's like the episode of MASH in which Frank Burns applied for a Purple Heart after getting a shell fragment in his eye after an attack on the camp. An egg shell fragment.

Depressingly it's much worse. For all Frank's faults, and he was the bad-guy butt of the joke after all, he was serving and saving lives under fire. Frank Burns didn't use daddy's wealth to dodge the draft. A 'well akshully I'm entitled to this medal' is still a thousand times better than Trump's stolen valour.

 

[Mojo]

Yes, but his caddy will drop a ball outside it.

The autocorrect tried to change that to "daddy", which would have been too metaphorical.

 

[The Don]

Crime is at the lowest rate in DC for thirty years.

One of the most dangerous cities anywhere in the World? It's nowhere near the most dangerous in the USA!

The White House
@WhiteHouse
"On Monday a Press Conference will be held at the White House which will, essentially, stop violent crime in Washington, D.C. It has become one of the most dangerous cities anywhere in the World. It will soon be one of the safest..." - President Donald J. Trump

https://twitter.com/x/status/1954190318963740852

President Trump has previously mentioned taking direct, personal, control over Washington DC, I suspect that this will be the announcement and that he will claim that once he takes control, crime will simply evaporate as a result of his iron rule.

Of course Washington DC's crime rate, whilst bad, is nowhere near as bad as the GOP would have us believe but that isn't the point, the whole idea is to keep the fear going. With complete control over Washington DC, the GOP can then claim whatever crime statistics they choose, and then use that as an excuse to implement direct control over the blue states.

 

[Gulliver Foyle]

Actually, maybe there's a chance. Could someone give him a Luger really covered in really tacky 'gold' plating?

The more I've seen of the white house decorations, the more I'm convinced they're cheap plastic inserts. They have the sheen of gold coloured plastic.

 

[steenkh]

President Trump has previously mentioned taking direct, personal, control over Washington DC, I suspect that this will be the announcement and that he will claim that once he takes control, crime will simply evaporate as a result of his iron rule.

His new statistician will be able to produce numbers that prove him right.

 

[P.J. Denyer]

The more I've seen of the white house decorations, the more I'm convinced they're cheap plastic inserts. They have the sheen of gold coloured plastic.

Yeah, but I'm sure Trump paid solid gold prices though. After all it wasn't his money.

 

[Andy_Ross]

Didn't someone give him their Purple Heart in his first term?

 

[Jack by the hedge]

How would a press conference end violent crime?

Washington must trade land for peace.

In return for security guarantees for Washington's future, the criminals will be given full control of certain neighbourhoods they already partly occupy. Trump will win another Nobel peace prize.

Peace with honour.