A list of reasons why people were shot in January 2017
A guest at my son’s New Year’s Eve party got drunk and wouldn’t leave, so I shot him dead. (Texas, January 1)
I got out my 9mm handgun to show it to my son, but I unintentionally shot him in the stomach. (Connecticut, January 7)
I work at a butcher shop, where we received a live buffalo to process. I was up on a ladder with a gun trying to shoot it, but it bumped the ladder and I shot myself in the leg. (Kansas, January 13)
I got in a fight with a guy, so I grabbed my gun and fired at him. My shot went through a wall and killed a woman in the next room. (Tennessee, January 14)
Some guy dinged my door in a parking lot and we started arguing about it. We both had guns, so I shot him first. (Texas, January 17)
My brother was arguing with me about which one of us treats Grandma right, so I shot him. (Texas, January 19)
I was arguing with my stepson about hotdogs and I said I was gonna shoot him. So my wife hid my gun. Then he kept arguing with me so I got my OTHER gun out and shot him dead. (Florida, January 23)
My neighbour was yelling at me because I kicked her dog, so I shot her dead. (Texas, January 24)
I accidentally ran over a dog with my car. The guy who owned the dog was really mad about it and was yelling at me, so I shot him dead. (Alabama, January 25)
Somebody in another car flashed their bright headlights at me (I was driving with my brights on), so I turned around, followed him and shot him. (North Carolina, January 28)