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Moderated Using wrong pronouns= violence??

I too fully and completely base all my standards of behavior on whether or not a police office would stop me from doing it.
 
"Officer, Officer, I need to report an act of violence done upon me!!!"

"Who hit you? Where were you hit?"

"Oh no, I wasn't hit. The guy misgendered me"




"Get the **** out of here, stop wasting my time."

Dude. Seriously. Resolved pages and pages ago. No one but you thinks this is on the table.
 
"Officer, Officer, I need to report an act of violence done upon me!!!"

"Who hit you? Where were you hit?"

"Oh no, I wasn't hit. The guy misgendered me"




"Get the **** out of here, stop wasting my time."

"And then the whole bus clapped."
 
I have twice, in my life misgendered someone in person*, and been corrected. And its bordering on a 0% chance that either was trans. Given that I'm bordering on a recluse it probably happens much more to people with actual lives.

*a lot more than that on the phone and electronically

anyone want to take bets, on whether we have a certain poster, or two, come by later and tell us that they would be able to tell for certain the sex of your hypothetical Metallica fan. They can always tell, at least 99.999999999% of the time.

Dude,I've guessed mother ******* phylums wrong more often than that. But in the 99% majority of times, I nail the sex right. I'd venture that you got actual genders wrong a whole lot more, and were never made aware of it.
 
Dude,I've guessed mother ******* phylums wrong more often than that. But in the 99% majority of times, I nail the sex right. I'd venture that you got actual genders wrong a whole lot more, and were never made aware of it.

The odds that you are correct are quite high. I've only been corrected twice that I can recall.
 
Okay... But do you require that to be "respectful" of that person who believes in a god I don't believe in, that I must start saying prayers before dinner, and I have to always use the title "reverend" when talking about their preacher, even if neither they nor their preacher are around?

Lots of people and organizations have "requirements" in which they insist upon for social, or other, interaction.

If I met arthwollipot and I insisted on calling his child he/she rather than whichever pronouns his child wants, arthwollipot can decide not to be friends with me, and sever all communications if he so chooses. He can also do so if I chose not to used specified pronouns for a celebrity neither of us know, or communicate with. Which IMO would be silly, but he'd be perfectly within his rights to do so.

This is a just about perfect, real world, analogy to a student at BYU being told: you shall refer to religious leaders as "bishop". If you choose not to you are free to pursue higher education elsewhere.

Neither example is an illegal restriction upon speech within the USA.
 
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But you're not being asked to "play along" and believe in their religion, you're being asked to believe that they believe in their religion. You can't manage that? If you are at a party and introduced to someone and it comes up in the course of conversation that they go to the Baptist church you have to challenge them on the existence of their god and correctness of their religion? If you see a nun and she introduces herself as Sister Mary you must scream "there is no god!" in her face and tell her she's an idiot? Even if she didn't try to convert you, or mention anything touching religion apart from the fact that she believes in one? Because not getting into a fight with them over their beliefs would...what? Hurt you somehow?

Am I obligated to refer to them as "Sister" throughout the entire party? Do I have to refer to them as "Sister" when I'm talking to someone else? Do I have to refer to them as "Sister" the next day when I'm talking about the party so someone who wasn't even there?

That's the difference here.

If I actually meet G-Flip in person, and I'm talking to someone right there in front of them, I'll probably be nice and do the polite thing.

But wolli is insisting not that we be courteous to G-Flip while in their presence... but all the time. We're being told that we must accept G-Flip's personal belief about themself even when they're not present, and will never ever know about it.

In your analogy, we're being told that in order to be courteous, we have to refer to the partygoer as "Sister" three days later when we're telling our coworker about the party, and we have to start saying prayers at dinner time.

Because failure to accept someone else's belief as "valid" even when they're not present is a form of emotional violence.
 
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Those are titles. Generally, it is considered proper to refer to people by their titles, yes. But, again, no one forces you to be polite and you shouldn't be surprised if you receive negative social consequences for being socially rude.

Are you seriously, on a skeptical site inhabited largely by atheists, that we must all use religious titles when referring to someone who is not here, and whose faith we don't ascribe to... because failure to be obsequious to the beliefs of a religion we don't accept is "rude"?

FFS, are you going to take it upon yourself to "correct" me if I refer to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. without the "Reverend" part?
 
Being "polite" in this case reinforces an existing power structure, one which I don't particularly care to support. One needn't be famous or important in order to decide not to lend their own tiny bit of support to that specific hierarchy. It is a personal choice, one which I'd prefer to make without being pressured by the self-appointed enforcers of politeness and status quo.

Sent from my SM-G996U using Tapatalk

You better be careful. Don't you dare talk about the great Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. without including the honorific "Reverend". It might be violence if you leave that out, you know.

:boggled:
 
Pretty sure you've missed the point on that one :)

Most of the courtesies we have are due to the upper class and nobility demanding that the lower classes and peasants must refer to them in special ways. The "sir" and "ma'am" are only relatively newly extended to include all people, they were initially a term of (obligated) respect that one used when addressing one's betters. The upper crust would never be caught dead using the honorific "sir" when speaking to a mere plebian... unless it were laden with sarcasm and intended as an insult, of course.

"Sir" and "ma'm" are not the only examples of manners and politeness. Are you REALLY making the argument that the "plebians" were a bunch of impolite, unmannered... and I dunno.. ruffians(?) before the upper crust came along? And now they are only polite to each other (even though the upper crust doesn't demand that part of it), because that somehow over time rubbed off on them? And that naturally they we are just unrefined animals, lacking any sort of manners and politeness?
 
"Sir" and "ma'm" are not the only examples of manners and politeness. Are you REALLY making the argument that the "plebians" were a bunch of impolite, unmannered... and I dunno.. ruffians(?) before the upper crust came along? And now they are only polite to each other (even though the upper crust doesn't demand that part of it), because that somehow over time rubbed off on them? And that naturally they we are just unrefined animals, lacking any sort of manners and politeness?


Yes, those posh gits forced us not to be asterisks.

Help, help, I'm being repressed!
 
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"Sir" and "ma'm" are not the only examples of manners and politeness. Are you REALLY making the argument that the "plebians" were a bunch of impolite, unmannered... and I dunno.. ruffians(?) before the upper crust came along? And now they are only polite to each other (even though the upper crust doesn't demand that part of it), because that somehow over time rubbed off on them? And that naturally they we are just unrefined animals, lacking any sort of manners and politeness?

:boggled: No, that's not my argument. And I really don't think it reads that way.

FFS, they're "courtesies" because they originated as the behavior expected to be shown in the court, and also expected to be shown to anybody who appears in the court.

[Lemony Snickett]
The word "court" in this sense means "the sovereign and officers and advisers who are the governing power".
[/Lemony Snickett]
 
I hope this is not wildly off topic. A friend was telling me about her daughter who was in a senior class with a student, formally identified as female who (seriously) wanted to be identified as a potato. They (I suppose) wore shirts with potatoes on it and wanted to be referred to as “potato”. The school responded by accepting the student’s identity but said they would refer to (them?) as Gem (are potato gems a thing everywhere?). Anyway this seemed to solve the potential problem.

Maybe creativity and a bit of humour can resolve difficulties in this area…… Nah, not likely.
 
This is a good and potentially useful analogy. As a former Catholic and current unbeliever, should I be expected to use Mary's preferred nomenclature and refer to her as "Sister" just as the devout do? How about calling the priest "Father" as a term of respect for their office?

Words carry meaningful implications, though. One might well infer beliefs from the words someone uses.

Yes. Using a word someone doesn't want you to use implies contempt.
 
I hope this is not wildly off topic. A friend was telling me about her daughter who was in a senior class with a student, formally identified as female who (seriously) wanted to be identified as a potato. They (I suppose) wore shirts with potatoes on it and wanted to be referred to as “potato”. The school responded by accepting the student’s identity but said they would refer to (them?) as Gem (are potato gems a thing everywhere?). Anyway this seemed to solve the potential problem.

Maybe creativity and a bit of humour can resolve difficulties in this area…… Nah, not likely.

"Duurr I identity as an attack helicopter!"
 
That's more accurate now.

If that helps you cope, sure.

It's an attempt to override another person's perceptions, and to place demands on their brains.

Let's go back to this. ^

When I was a young child, in the 80s, I had long hair. I remember several occasions when women would say something along the lines of, "You're a pretty girl, aren't you?"

So, their perception was that I was a girl, but then they were corrected by my mum that I was, in fact, a boy.

If you were in their position, would the demands on your brain be too great for you to consciously alter your perception?
 
I am putting *this* thread on moderated status.

The topic is, as has been stated previously, whether misgendering someone is an act of violence. Correct use of pronouns might be considered sufficiently close to the topic.

It is not whether transwomen are women. It is not on the reality of gender. It is not whether non-binary people exist.



I, or some other mod will be clearing out some of the previous posts between this and the previous modbox.

Replying to this modbox in thread will be off topic  Posted By: jimbob
 

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