I am suggesting that men step up and publicly declare that all males are safe and welcome in male spaces, and they do not require women to take on the burden of coddling the ones with identity issues. And to work to make it so.
Men are pretty silent about this, on the whole. I'm seeing precious little positive moves to do anything practical to provide a solution to the trans issue that doesn't involve appropriating women's spaces.
I'm sympathetic to your complaint. In a more ideal world, that would happen. But the world is far from ideal, and it's an unrealistic hope.
First off, nobody ever cares about the problems of a group they don't belong to as much as the problems of a group they do belong to. That's just human nature, and it largely applies even to good people. There's no point in hoping it could be otherwise. Given that this issue disproportionately impacts women, it's always going to be women who care more about it. That's unavoidable.
Second, the problem isn't just males. As has been pointed out before in this thread, a LOT of women support radical trans rights. You can make excuses for why this is so (internalized misogyny, trying to please men), but the fact remains that it is so. Furthermore, the reverse is also true: plenty of men try to please women, and support for trans rights among women on the left is generally quite strong. The whole phenomenon of "male feminist" (often a superficial affectation) is basically men trying to please women. And lastly, there's a lot of men who just bow to the pressure of political correctness. When you don't have much at stake in the outcome but you face social stigma if you adopt the wrong position, it's easy to just go along to get along. And in this environment, women play a very big role. Women do more to control men's behavior, for better AND for worse, than they generally realize.
For example, the whole "slut shaming" phenomenon. Feminists often portray this as patriarchal oppression, but they have it exactly backwards. Any analysis of motivations should make that obvious. Slut shaming doesn't come primarily from men, it comes primarily from other women. And why would women want to slut shame other women? Because promiscuous women incentivize men's behavior in ways that hurt
other women. Men can alter their behavior drastically in response to the demands that women make. Oh sure, a man might not respond to
one woman's demands, but to women in general? Men
as a group respond. Not always to what women
say, but very much to what women
do. Women say they don't like the players, but they keep picking them anyways. The problem for women is that they often don't make unified demands. And self-policing of women's behavior (like slut shaming) doesn't always work.
So what demands are women making of men in regards to trans rights? None, really. Yes, you personally are making demands to reign in the trans activists. And I think your demands are completely sensible and reasonable. Personally, I largely agree with your demands. But other women are silent, and still other women are allied with the trans activists, Nicola Sturgeon being a relevant example here. Given this split of opinion among women, there's no real pressure being applied to men as a group to get this right. It would be nice if they did on their own, but that's really not realistic. Men aren't going to move on this in any significant numbers until women do. We can wish it were otherwise, but it just isn't. Adjust accordingly.
