In your opinion, is she a "she" in any sense other than common courtesy with preferred pronouns?
Yes. Despite not having bottom surgery, she has quite clearly committed to her transition and living as a woman.
As for functional genitals, I don't know, but she has been on hormones a long time. There was a period a couple years ago where she spoke of going off the hormones for a period in order to preserve sperm to have children in the future.
I don't see a problem with her as a woman in most cases. But then her behavior is such that she doesn't abuse the situation. She doesn't change at the gym, for example, not because she feels she shouldn't but because she knows that her appearance may make others uncomfortable. Honestly, I think that would be the case in either changing room.
The point is that she is cognizant of how her behavior and presence affect the people around her.
I keep forgetting about Emily Cat's really excellent question, which should perhaps get more emphasis and attention (and hopefully coherent answers):
"What does a transwoman have in common with human females, that they do NOT have in common with human males?"
This is an unanswerable question. And that's largely because we are talking about psychology which, as I've mentioned is very hard to directly measure. The cheap answer is something about a "sense of being female" which can't really be quantified. I can't say that Blaire White's sense of being female is the same as Emily's Cat's sense of being female. But I also can't say that they are not the same.
As you pointed out regarding my Venn diagram, all those traits are present in both sexes/genders. It's probably a 100% overlap. The differences, pertain with frequency and frequency of combinations. And they are likely to be different in different cultures. My contention is it's a combination of these traits and psychological factors which, by their nature, are difficult to impossible to quantify.
Absent sex, what commonalities unite any of what we call gender groups? What commonalities do I have with you that I do not also have with some woman, excuse me, female somewhere?
To put it another way:
Well I'm not the world's most masculine man
But I know what I am and I'm glad I'm a man
And so is Lola
One just knows. Of course, what some people "know" doesn't match up with their body. So is Emily's knowledge and Blaire's the same? I don't know. Is Emily's knowledge the same as Hillary Clinton's? I don't know. There's no way to measure it.
So that leaves lived experience. Which also has a great deal of variation. What part of the lived experience of being a woman (outside sex issues) is universal? I don't think the opression in the US is the same as the opression in the Middle East. And how does that compare to a matriarchal society in, say, the Amazon? Would someone be less a woman because they ruled the tribe?
But I wouldn't say trans-women quite grew up with male privilege either. At least not as a rule. They obviously didn't fit in and were likely bullied and abused by males. Again, not universally. Very little about this issue resides in universal truths. That's why it's so frustrating.
Anyway, that's not really an answer, but it's where the search for one takes me. I regard the question as being along the line of: "What's the sound of one hand clapping?"