do all of what? search for appropriate adoptive parents? I agree she should get help with that. Resources and agencies should be available to her to help her find appropriate parents.
Apologies for being unclear. To care for the developing fetus in utero. Do you really not realize that it takes time, energy, money and physical and psychological wellness to adequately nurture a developing fetus? It's not like the egg is fertilized and then a baby magically pops out 9 months later. This was your statement:
I was talking about a situation where the sole concern was that the mother lacked finances, a good home, ability to raise a child and a stable environment. "
What do you think that means in reality? Lack of finances makes me think of a woman who may be working multiple jobs or who may be struggling to feed and care for herself and/or any existing children. Lack of a good home and lack of stable environment again makes me think of poverty, maybe homeless, maybe periods of time without electricity or running water. Poverty means food insecurity, which means lack of adequate nutrition. Lack of a stable home environment could also include being in an abusive relationship. Do you think none of that will have an impact on the developing fetus?
The actual act of putting the child up for adoption after it's born is the (superficially) easy part. It's so very difficult in so many ways, but the actual physical act? Sign a paper and turn the child over to an adoption agency. If you really think the difficult part about carrying a child to term and putting it up for adoption for the biological mother is finding appropriate parents, you have a lot more research to do.
A woman who is considering abortion due to lack of finances, lack of a stable home environment, lack of ability to care for the child when born, etc. may not have the time or money or ability to go to necessary medical appointments, or the resources to buy nutritious food or vitamins to supplement poor nutrition, or the stamina and psychological wellness to deal with one more stress and struggle in her life. The stress of the pregnancy alone will cause the developing fetus stress and can negatively impact its development. There's interesting research about how children who are adopted have higher rates of being born premature, and of having learning disabilities, ADHD, psychological and metabolic disorders, with the evidence being that the stress of carrying an unwanted pregnancy potentially under less than ideal circumstances plays a large role.
N=1 (well 2) and all, but my brother and I, both adopted and both with different biological parents, have learning disabilities, ADHD and metabolic disorders (childhood high cholesterol for him and PCOS for me).
because it might not just impact her life but also that of the fetus.
I believe the fetus' life comes secondary to that of people who are already alive - the pregnant woman and any existing family who may also be negatively impacted and are therefore factored into her decision. In short, a potential person is less important than an existing person.
put yourself in the hypothetical fetus' shoes. Think about whether or not you'd want someone deciding whether you live or die, without any thought to the possibility that you may have rights.
Obviously, I have done exactly this. My biological mother could very easily have had an abortion and then I wouldn't be here. As an embryo or fetus, though, I wouldn't have any thoughts or opinions. Her life (and not just her physical life, but her psychological welfare as well), takes priority over the existence of a clump of cells. I am very strongly still pro choice despite the fact that I'm alive specifically because my biological mother opted not to abort me when she could very easily have done exactly that.
true, but most normal pregnancies don't end with woman dying. Like I've said if the risk of the mother's life is too high, I don't oppose abortion.
What's a normal pregnancy and how do you know in advance whether or not the pregnancy is going to be normal? As I said, that's not something that can be known in advance and it's all well and good to say that you're okay with the pregnant woman getting an abortion if her physical life is at risk, and to say that the risk is minimal enough that it shouldn't be a concern, but circumstances aren't always that black and white. The risk to the woman's life may not be apparent until it's too late. It should be up to the woman to decide whether or not that's a risk she's willing to take since, you know, it's her body and her life. Here's another hypothetical. For a pregnant woman considering abortion due to the reasons you mention above, what happens to any existing children if she dies? Why should the fetus take priority over them? After all, they'll definitely be traumatized if they lose their mother.
but is that not what you mother would have done to you if she had aborted you?
Not in the way you mean. It's her body so it's her choice. I'd support her right to get an abortion the way I would support any woman who made the same choice. Again, the life and rights of the pregnant woman trump the that of a non-viable fetus. The fetus may be alive, but it doesn't have a life in the sense of living independently and having external responsibilities.
like I said, I want to learn more. Let me ask you something what would have been worse, the trauma that your mother went through, or you being aborted?
Obviously, the trauma my biological mother went through. Were I aborted, I wouldn't be aware of it to be traumatized by it. Wait, I may be misreading your question. I can't speak for what would have been more traumatizing for my biological mother, having an abortion or carrying me full term. I don't know the factors that she considered when she made the decision that she did. My answer is regarding the trauma to my biological mother of putting me up for adoption vs the trauma I'd experience were I aborted.
You didn't answer my question about how you'd feel if someone made comparable permanent, life altering decisions on your behalf.
Please, seriously, try to put yourself in that hypothetical woman's shoes and think about whether or not you'd want someone making that kind of decision on your behalf without any thought to your wishes or circumstances.
You've said before that you don't have kids because of your life circumstances at this time. What if someone decided that you needed to spend the next 9 months of your life nurturing a living creature that you knew you couldn't adequately care for and wouldn't be keeping, and that doing so would have long lasting physical and psychological ramifications, and which has a small chance of actually putting your life at risk? Please keep in mind that you making that decision for yourself isn't the same as someone else making it for you even if the outcome would be the same.
