Because it gets falsely associated with people like me.
I don't associate it with you, nor do I think that anyone here would do so. I can understand being touchy about it though, certainly.
When I was a kid and teen, I would wear women's clothing because it felt right. But there was also sexual excitement that came from it. The difference is that over time as it became more normal and everyday for me, that excitement dissipated and eventually went away. It became less taboo and more normal. But that kind of thing about my past is something I would never admit to a therapist because they might put me in the same camp as this freak.
I'm not so sure. Almost everything taboo has an element of titillation to it, that's part of human nature. But like you say, once that initial "omg am I really dong this" is past, it fades very quickly. There's also an element of fantasy in teens that plays into developing sexuality. I'll share some of my own personal information, so you don't feel alone and under the microscope
.
When I was a teenager, my own developing sexuality was fairly confused. I was mostly attracted to males... but there was one female in school that made my heart race and made me flush, and I had a hard time not staring at her because she was so sexy to me. I would fantasize while masturbating that I was a male, so that I could have sex with her. I tried to imaging the power and the eroticism of thrusting. And for a while I thought I might be lesbian or bisexual. Eventually, however, I figured out that my reaction to males was different - there was a heat and a pull involved that was physically different than what I felt toward sexy females. Eventually, sometime in my first couple of years of college after some experimenting, I figured out that it wasn't actually sexual attraction, so much as it was envy perhaps. It wasn't that I was sexually attracted to the sexy females, so much as I wanted to
be the sexy female, I wanted to have that kind of affect on other people, I wanted to have that kind of sexual presence. And my fantasies of being a male having sex with the sexy female were more akin to reading a romance novel - directing the actions that I would want a male to take with me, if I were the sexy female that I desired to be.
I don't think that's particularly uncommon in teenagers. I know it's not uncommon among female teenagers. It's part of an evolving sexuality.
I would hope that a *good* therapist wouldn't get hung up on a relatively normal part of teenage evolution when treating you, or anyone else.
People who are solely guided by these kinds of fetishes are could be considered autogynephiles, but they aren't transgender. Blanchard and his cohorts like to put us all in one pile, and that's where the problems start.
I hear where you're coming from, but I think it's kind of backwards. What Blanchard did was to tease apart the motivational factors behind transgender people, and classify them into two categories - one of which is a paraphilia. There are actually quite a few transgender identified males out there who acknowledge that their motiviation is autogynephilia, and who consider themselves to be transwomen.
I can also sympathize with you not wanting to be associated with a paraphilia.
Part of what Blanchard did was to draw a distinction between two main categories of gender dysphoria in males, and to recommend different treatment approaches for them. Their HSTS category were ones that they believed would benefit from therapy aimed at them being comfortable being feminine gay males without physical alteration, but they also recognized that gender dysphoria among HSTS had a much higher likelihood of not being alleviated in that fashion, and that transition was a very appropriate and reasonable treatment for the distress caused by their dysphoria.
Blanchard's approach for AGP was different. It was first aimed at addressing the paraphilia and managing it. If that didn't work, there were steps through periodic cross-dressing etc. that were intended to manage the sexual urges without putting either the patient or other people at risk or discomfort. Blanchard understood that AGP created a situation where a male with a paraphilia could exploit females for their sexual pleasure, essentially use females as a sexual object to fulfil their fetish. And that is not fair to the females who end up being unwilling participants in someone else's fantasy role-play. I'm certain you can relate to that - you've previously mentioned 'chasers' who aren't actually interested in transwomen as fully realized people, but rather as sexual objects for their fantasies. Being the object of that kind of behavior is creepy af, and I consider that to be predatory behavior.
I don't think Blanchard's intention was to 'lump them all together', it was to pull them apart. I think this is demonstrated by the fact that AGP is a diagnosis under transvestic disorders, which are in the class of paraphilias. Gender Identity Disorder was NOT in the same class. GID got renamed to Gender Dysphoria, and removed as a *diagnosis*, and is now considered a symptom instead, as it can have multiple underlying drivers. But AGP still remains in DSM-5.
I'm sorry this post got so long, but I think it's an important point, because
this is actually a common ground between you and I. Both you and I view AGP as a paraphilia, as a sexual fetish, and we view it as being qualitatively different from what we would both consider to be "true transgender". We agree on that point.
I think where we disagree is in recognition that there are actually AGP people out there who do have paraphilias. I'm pretty certain that they absolutely exist.
And that's where things get complicated. Because I don't think that either you or I want AGP males to have unfettered access to female changing rooms, showers, or prisons. And that's where self-declaration becomes a real challenge.
I would really, really love to have a discussion with you about how we can accommodate the needs and dignity of transgender people like yourself, while still providing protection and safety for both you and I from AGP people who could exploit self-declared gender identity in ways that neither of us approve of.
Do you have any ideas on how to let you in, but keep them out?
