Emily's Cat
Rarely prone to hissy-fits
I've had time to put a little more thought into an issue I talked about earlier: that the crux of the disagreement here comes from definitions.
I think most people over 40 understand "woman" to mean "adult human female" because that's how the word has historically being understood, at least in English and western languages. So gender and sex are, to them, very closely related. In fact the former is entirely included in the latter. So the idea that you could "identify" as something else is bizarre. But if "trans person" is defined as someone with a specific type of body dysphoria, then the whole thing makes sense, just not the idea of pronouns and such.
The other view stems from the idea that "gender" means "gender roles" i.e. the expectations of a specific society with regards to a sex. Now, it doesn't matter if one agrees with the conflation for now. If one takes that view, then "identify as a woman" simply means "has behaviours and ways that are more associated with females in this society". Suddenly dysphoria is no longer required for a person to be "trans" and it all makes sense again. In fact, even the new pronouns make sense, as do "nonbinaries", since you might not fit with any set of sex-based expectations. Of course that doesn't solve the question of restrooms, for instance, until one decides whether the "men" restrooms are really "male" restrooms or not, etc. But at least it's a step towards understanding the other side of the conversation.
For myself, I don't think there's a need to interpret "gender" as "gender roles" since the latter does the job of expressing that idea quite well. Of course that means trans men aren't actual men and that someone isn't "trans" merely because of identification; it requires the dysphoria. And it makes nonsense out of the new pronouns, but then I don't think those are actual issues. More important are recognising dysphoria as an important issue, and treating those with the condition with respect and dignity, protecting them against discrimination and so on. And as I stated before I am in favour of government financial aid for the transition process, which ostensibly solves the dysphoria.
However, there might be a compelling reason to make the terms change. We still need to have the discussion for restroms and sports and such regardless, but at least we can have that discussion using the same definitions, even if only for the sake of that conversation.
One way or another, mind you, it's not just how one feels that would determine their "gender", but how they act. I'm open to the idea, but I don't think there's any concept for "feeling" like a particular gender, especially since gender has never been defined as how one feels, nor does anyone know how anyone else feels to make the determination.
Overall good post. My opposition comes in at the tail end:
One way or another, mind you, it's not just how one feels that would determine their "gender", but how they act.
This sets up back 50 years. We're right back to "real boys don't cry" and "there's something wrong with that girl who doesn't like skirts and pink".