Pardon me if I skip to the meat, having, I confess, not read all the nonsense here in detail. You say God does not want people to know the truth, but God has spoken to you and told you.
Might we ask what makes you so special? I mean, if you're the chosen messenger of God, what are you doing doodling around on a forum like this? Any messenger of God worth spit should be out in the world really doing stuff. We wouldn't be reading about you here. You'd be in the papers.
Popular accounts have Jesus sitting on an ass but it wasn't his own.
Good question and I have answered it a number of times.
Firstly I am no "messenger" or prophet in the category of the historical ones. So I do not need to be riding any "ass" anywhere or anytime. Comparing me in order to be able to heap scorn on me is a typical tactic of most atheists and it does not bother me.
I am a scientific observer privileged to be able to see the Truth of our existence, and to be able to share that with others. How much of an impact it will have will be determined by events in the years and decades ahead.
God does not work by giving anyone clear and detailed information. Even the great prophets (like Jesus and Muhammad) had to work things out, with God giving guidance. This is so as to have "plausible deniability" as to his existence. Even with the many psychic events I have had, I am not 100% certain about any of it. I assign a high probability to them being supernatural because of the circumstances and my state of mind at the time.
Although God does not want to give certain proof of his existence does not mean he does not want to give strong hints as to his existence, and strong hints as to what he expects.
The question I ask myself frequently is also "Why me?" I get embarrassed when ever I have been praised for an achievement. In school I was teased for being so bright, and the teachers accused me openly of cheating in the school exams. They said it was impossible for anyone to get the high marks I did without having seen the exam paper before hand.
I have excellent genes so I am a high achiever academically and physically. I have (much reduced now by brain shrinkage and electrosmog) memory. I was not only in the top of a really bright class but I got recognition and awards for swimming and baseball.
My abilities to analyze facts from a memorized textbook were fantastic enough that I could skip University lectures for the year and then learn the textbook the night before the exam and get a good pass. I was not motivated to excel which I could have done had I applied myself.
God seems to have taken me as able to analyze the experiences he put me through and make sense of them. He also knew I would be able to defend the eventual hypothesis in any forum, particularly a scientific forum. He knew I would be able to grasp the significance and the danger of electrosmog. He let me go through being a hard atheist to an agnostic and then accept the probability of his existence.
I have the ability to write a book and to detail the hypothesis and tie it into the experiences. I do not have the resources to get the book professionally edited or marketed but I learn from my mistakes. And I accept that God controls the timing. So when I get the second part properly done and marketed it should be successful. People will want to know what God's part in this disaster is and why.
I wanted to remain anonymous but it seems God does not want that. So I will publish under my own name. It still may not get traction. God chose someone who is not a quitter unless it is obvious I cannot win. I accept I might be wrong. That is another reason for choosing me. I see both sides of any argument even if I chose one side.
The reason I am on a forum like this is to refine the hypothesis and be able to defend it when (maybe if) the book gets traction. I have discovered that God works by giving me answers and ideas and guiding me by having a person or a book at the right time shape my hypothesis. For example, I meet a person in an airport while waiting for the next flight and they tell me personal stories of being in India at an Ashram. Another chance meeting was a person telling about going to India to spread the Gospel and having a statue tell them that Christianity is not the only true religion.
So give it time. This is a work in progress. You are part of it.