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Xian Email

triadboy

Master Poster
Joined
Aug 4, 2001
Messages
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SOMEBODY'S RAISING THEIR CHILD RIGHT!!! THIS IS GREAT !

One Nation, "Under GOD"

One Day, a 6 Year Old Girl Was Sitting In a Classroom.
The Teacher Was Explaining Evolution To The Children.
The Teacher Asked a Little Boy:

TEACHER: Tommy do you see the Tree Outside?
TOMMY: Yes.

TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the Grass Outside?
TOMMY: Yes.

TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the Sky.
TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the Sky.

TEACHER: Did You See GOD?
TOMMY: No.

TEACHER: That's My Point. We Can't See GOD Because HE Isn't There. HE Just Doesn't Exist.

A Little Girl Spoke Up Wanting To Ask The Boy Some Questions.
The Teacher Agreed.

LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the Tree Outside?
TOMMY: Yes.

LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you! see the Grass Outside?
TOMMY: Yessssss!!!

LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the Sky?
TOMMY: Yessssss!!!

LITTLE GIRL; Tommy, Do You See The Teacher?
TOMMY: Yes

LITTLE GIRL: Do You See Her Brain?
TOMMY: No

LITTLE GIRL: Then According To What We Were Taught Today, She Doesn't Have One...

II CORINTHIANS 5:7 "FOR WE WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT "

Don't forget to pass this on.
Everyone should send this to everyone they know,
Especially Today With Prayer Restricted In Schools.

This may be the most ignorant email I've ever seen. ....and in the end, it seems to be saying - since you can't see your own brain, God exists. Wow!
 
Plenty of medical folks (and others) have seen, touched, operated upon etc. brains. We can take their word for it that the brain actually exists.

Where are the plenty of people who have direct evidence of god?

That is such a stupid story. That little girl should be suspended or at least mocked. :)
 
Or teach the boy about experiments and proof.

Take a rock.

Take a head with an "invisible" brain.

Discover whether or not brain exists.
 
Bah. These stories need truely evil athiests.

Teacher: Do you see me Tommy? Well in this class room I am your God. Bwa ha ha ha ha! Now evolve you little magot!!
 
What is it about Spamming Christians That Makes them Capitalize particular Words in Their Email? It's very Annoying. And makes it Read like a Winnie-the-Pooh Book.
 
We should start our own xtian email:

ATHEISTS ARE STUPID! I CAN'T SEE MY BRAIN! GOD EXISTS!
PASS THIS ON!
 
Unfortunately, the ending was missed off that particular story:

...

LITTLE GIRL: Then According To What We Were Taught Today, She Doesn't Have One...

II CORINTHIANS 5:7 "FOR WE WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT "

LITTLE GIRL: That's A Strange Name.

II CORINTHIANS 5: Um, Yes.

TOMMY: I Thought You Were Supposed To Be Explaining Evolution To Us Anyway, Teacher?

TEACHER: Well, I Would, But Sadly We're Being Written By A Fundamentalist With No Visible Brain, Who Actually Hasn't Got A Clue What Evolution Is, So Not Much Chance Of That.

LITTLE GIRL: Teacher, Why Are You Made Of Straw?

(Continues for 977 pages)
 
In other news, a man walking into a glass door was hailed by christian fundimentalists as proof of God's continued existence.
 
No fair! No one hailed me 10 years ago when I was chasing my grandparent's dog and it ran out the doggy door and I ran into the sliding glass window that my grandma had just cleaned.
 
ma1ic3 said:
We should start our own xtian email:

ATHEISTS ARE STUPID! I CAN'T SEE MY BRAIN! GOD EXISTS!
PASS THIS ON!

Atheists are so contradictory! You can't prove that God doesn't exist, therefore he does!
 
Wait! The version of this e-mail I got clearly stated that this happened at a university, and the professor ran from the lecture in fear of God's servant.
Hmmmm....I wonder which event actually took place?
 
I can see my own brain! All I need is a scalpel, a mirror, and lots of painkillers.

On second thought, I'll stick to the CAT scan.
 
triadboy said:
This may be the most ignorant email I've ever seen. ....and in the end, it seems to be saying - since you can't see your own brain, God exists. Wow!

The whole exchange reminds me of that scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grale where the inquisitor is explaining why if the woman weighs the same as a duck, she must be a witch. Hilarious.
 
The GM said:
Wait! The version of this e-mail I got clearly stated that this happened at a university, and the professor ran from the lecture in fear of God's servant.
Hmmmm....I wonder which event actually took place?
By any chance do you mean the dropped chalk myth.

The other day I got this email:
An atheist professor dares God to knock him off a platform by the end of class to prove God really exists.

His count down got down to the last couple of minutes when a Navy SEAL, just released from the Navy after serving in Afghanistan and Iraq and newly registered in the class, walked up to the Professor. The SEAL hit him full force in the face, and sent the Professor tumbling from his lofty platform. The Professor was out cold!! The students were stunned and shocked. They began to babble in confusion. The SEAL nonchalantly took his seat in the front row and sat silent. The class looked at him and fell silent...waiting.

Eventually, the professor came to and was noticeably shaken. He looked at the SEAL in the front row. When the professor regained his senses and could speak he asked: "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that!?"

"God was really busy protecting America's soldiers, who are protecting your right to say stupid **** and act like an *******!!! So he sent me!!"
The moral of the story: thank God that you are a violent instrument in the name of the Lord.
 
a girl was arguing with me once that since i couldnt see my brain i couldnt know it was there. so therefore god exists... this girl was like 22, yes this argument is used
 
spectacle said:
a girl was arguing with me once that since i couldnt see my brain i couldnt know it was there. so therefore god exists... this girl was like 22, yes this argument is used
Tell her the same argument is true because she can't see Australia from Florida. It makes as much sense...
 
Zep said:
Tell her the same argument is true because she can't see Australia from Florida. It makes as much sense...

Or that she probably can't see her own anus*, yet she poops all the same.


*Unless she's used mirrors or photography, in which case, how godly can she be to start with?
 
TragicMonkey said:
Or that she probably can't see her own anus*, yet she poops all the same.


*Unless she's used mirrors or photography, in which case, how godly can she be to start with?
Ask Jim Bakker...
 

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