Would you pray to Satan to save your child?

[RobRoy]

I've offered my soul to Satan many times, mostly in exchange for sexual favours from particular young women but often enough for power over the earth and all the foolish creatures crawling upon it.

He has yet to get back to me on any of my offers.

Perhaps there's something wrong with your soul. Do you still have the receipt?

 

[Beerina]

I'd pray to Satan for a good pastrami sandwich.

It's truly sad we live in a cosmos where we're cursed by the presence of this horrible, horrible creature causing murderous problems and unending pain for basically everyone.

So why worship him? Let's worship Satan instead!

 

[Piscivore]

Perhaps there's something wrong with your soul. Do you still have the receipt?

Never had a receipt, it was scratch-built out of old Volkswagen parts, fresh chum, and a C-64 motherboard.

That brings up an interesting question- do "born again" souls have a salvage title?

 

[ruckenheim]

I'd pray to Satan for a good pastrami sandwich.

David Blaine is busy.

 

[Vic Vega]

To Christians Jews and Catholics (I think)

There is really no concept of Satan or of Hell in Judaism.

 

[Hokulele]

I've offered my soul to Satan many times, mostly in exchange for sexual favours from particular young women but often enough for power over the earth and all the foolish creatures crawling upon it.

He has yet to get back to me on any of my offers.

Even Satan isn't foolish enough to piss off your wife.

 

[bobcarp]

I have prayed to Satan, many times when trying to get laid. Sometimes it works, sometimes it don't.

 

[Piscivore]

Even Satan isn't foolish enough to piss off your wife.

This was many, many years ago- I'm not foolish enough to piss off the wife.

Not even for Natalie Portman.

 

[Darth Rotor]

Even Satan isn't foolish enough to piss off your wife.

Golden shower joke censored.

As to Satan being prayed to, I had always understood Satan getting a perverse pleasure out of the suffering of all and sundry. He'd welcome the prayer, and giggle with glee at not granting it. You'll note that Jagger/Richard did not write a song called "Sympathy From the Devil."

DR

 

[gentlehorse]

I don't think God wants lies, destruction and evil to exist.

Which explains why he created Lucifer, knowing full well what would ensue. (I assume that you believe god to be omniscient. Correct me if I'm wrong.)

I think God wants us to have a choice between good and evil. With out there being a choice between good and evil, we are just slaves to God.

Then what was all the fuss about eating of the of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil? You know, the reason that Adam and Eve were ousted and all of humanity cursed? It seems like god wanted people to be "slaves of god", if you put any stock in the first few pages of Genesis.

Anyone could believe in God if he proved his existance. I believe in free will. I have also come to see this world as a test. If you pass you go to heavin or purgatory. If you fail you go to hell.

So we have to decide which of the scores of equally unbelievable god stories is actually true. If we choose the wrong one, we fry. Is that it?

 

[Beerina]

Seriously, if God and Satan both existed, and I knew with true scientific certainty that they did, then I would want to know if the child were going to go to Hell or Heaven when they died.

If Heaven, don't pray to Satan.

If Hell, pray to Satan since Yahweh, mountain god of the Israelis, "is a ass", letting a child die in painful misery, then resurrecting it and heaving it into Hell.


Yes, the Christian god is quite a major league *******.

 

[Thunder]

satan doesnt exist. neither does "jehovah".

 

[thatguywhojuggles]

If the dying person is an atheist, why would Satan want to cure him? He's on his way to hell, that's where Satan wants him in the end.

 

[gdnp]

If the dying person is an atheist, why would Satan want to cure him? He's on his way to hell, that's where Satan wants him in the end.

It seems like Satan sets traps to try to lure people into doing bad things so they go to hell. God, on the other hand, seems to set tests to try to tempt people into doing bad things so they go to hell. Satan can use any trick in the book to try to get you to do evil. God, on the other hand, despite being more powerful, does not wish to unduly influence people to do good because he wants them to have free will: doing good is its own reward. Despite creating humans as (semi) rational beings, he wants them to believe in him without evidence: on faith alone. He will give us whatever we ask for in Jesus's name. Unless he doesn't. Because it was not part of his perfect plan. Which does not in any way invalidate everyone having free will. Somehow.

The more I consider it, the more I run in circles. I just can't make it make any sort of sense.

The divine mystery. God is insane. Or I am. Or both.

 

[linusrichard]

It's not too hard of a question.
If you believe in the Bible as the inerrant word of God, then of course you don't pray to Satan. Remember, this is the same Bible that extols the virtue of the guy who was going to kill his own son himself simply because he thought God was telling him to.

It turns out it really was God telling him to, but at the last minute, God was all, no, don't do it, I was just testing you. So the kid lived. But what a jerk, am I right?

On the other hand, if we assume that there is at least as great a chance of prayer to Satan helping as hurting, then I would like to think it would simply be the decent thing to do.

 

[David Wong]

satan doesnt exist. neither does "jehovah".

The opening post was specifically posing a question to believers. Your reply is off topic, and you know it.

If your religious belief system causes you to so routinely forget common courtesy, then it isn't valid. That applies to Antheist fundamentalism (like yours) just as it does to religious fundamentalism.

 

[blobru]

Clever OP, TEO.

I thought that was philosophy's bread and butter: trying to answer ridiculously contrived and convoluted scenarios that have no application to real life.

P. butter, sticks in dogs' mouths.

A related theo-ethical conundrum: Comes the Judgment Day. Mr. Big splits humanity into two groups: heaven- and hell-bound. You're in the heaven lane. You see several of your best friends, family, maybe even the son from your OP, on the off-ramp, headed for unspeakable torment in the lake of fire. Mr. Big takes a last look 'round, deep breath, wipes his hands: "Ok folks, I guess that's about it." Then with a narrow OT scowl: "Before we head out... does anyone disagree with this arrangement? Anyone going to question my judgment? Speak up."

You feel like complaining about the judgment-system and where it's sending your homies; but you sure don't want to tick off Mr. Big, especially not now. Do you dare speak up?

 

[gdnp]

Clever OP, TEO.



P. butter, sticks in dogs' mouths.

A related theo-ethical conundrum: Comes the Judgment Day. Mr. Big splits humanity into two groups: heaven- and hell-bound. You're in the heaven lane. You see several of your best friends, family, maybe even the son from your OP, on the off-ramp, headed for unspeakable torment in the lake of fire. Mr. Big takes a last look 'round, deep breath, wipes his hands: "Ok folks, I guess that's about it." Then with a narrow OT scowl: "Before we head out... does anyone disagree with this arrangement? Anyone going to question my judgment? Speak up."

You feel like complaining about the judgment-system and where it's sending your homies; but you sure don't want to tick off Mr. Big, especially not now. Do you dare speak up?

Doesn't matter. God is omniscient and he already knows what you are thinking.

 

[Radrook]

Hang on. God created Satan, thereby creating evil to try to tempt humans into committing evil acts, because he wants us to have free will, but also created hell to punish those who exercise the free will God wanted us to have and are tempted by God's creation, Satan? He also handed down laws to follow, including laws to worship him, but does not want us to be slaves, but if we do not worship him will punish us for eternity? He also likes to periodically test our faith in him by sending earthquakes, tornadoes, terminal illnesses, car accidents, etc? This is all evidence that he is omnibenevolent?

Where did you get those ideas from?

Satan created himself via rebellion. Prior to that he was a holy angel called Lucifer of cherubim rank.

Isaiah 14:11-13

12How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground,....

13For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God:


Other angels joined the rebellion and are referred to as demons or unclean spirits. They too created themselves via rebellion.

James 2:19
"You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe--and tremble!

Neither he nor his angels are provided with any domain where they can torture people. The only place rebel angels are said to be confined is tartarus and it is a prison-restricted condition of darkness mentioned in the book of Jude and humans are not described as being sent there.

 

[blobru]

Doesn't matter. God is omniscient and he already knows what you are thinking.

Yipers!... epistemic determinism: the paradox of God's foreknowledge and free will.

Notwithstanding, do you speak up? On J-Day, would you be willing to go to hell as an act of protest for Mr. Big's sending your friends & family to hell?