Hmmm.
A while back some ideas about this were tossed around. Someone, can't recall who now, came up with three "rules" of alien races: three things that, without knowing anything specific, we can say with a fair degree ofconfidence about any technologically-advanced alien race:
1. They will be intelligent, aggressive, and violent when necessary. Nature doesn't favor a wimp. The species that can best survive does, and intelligence doesn't seem to develop in cereatures that use less aggressive survival stratgies (how much brain does it take to breed by the dozens, for example?). Likewise, a species must have capability for violence in order to become dominant, which would be a requirement for a technological society (lots of resources needed).
2. They will favor their own survival over that of any other species. This is simply common sense, and most poeple (yes Complexity, I know you're the exception) would agree. A species doesn't become the top dog by being self-sacrificing.
3. They will assume the first two rules apply to us.
We have theoretical designs now for anti-matter engines that could accelrate a craft to significant fractions of the speed of light. We're a long way from building such ships, but there's no theoretical barrier to it. We already know anti-matter can be created and contained, and magnetic fields can be used to shape reaction chambers and exhaust nozzles.
Now, combine this with the fact that any feasible interstellar craft, travelling at a fraction of c, is indistinguishable from a weapon (unless and until it begins decelerating), and that even at, say, 10% c an impact from even a relatively small object is devastating, and anything moving at a significant fraction of c is not going to be in the place where you see it (or detect it from radar or whatever) by the time anything you might use to intercept it gets there. Also, even launching missles at an incoming ship, unless you hit it really far out, simply turns it from a single projectile into a shotgun. And the only difference between an interstellar ship and an intersteller missile is whether or not it slows down. And heaven forbid if multiples are sent, or if they have defense mechanisms. Basically, a relativistic impact weapon is nearly uninterceptible, and given sufficient size and speed is a planet-killing weapon (well, life on the planetary surface, anyway).
What risk of racial genecide is acceptible, when there's no feasible way to reliably intercept a possible attack, or even determine what is an attack?
This is the "alone in Central Park at night, with no streetlights around" theory. You can't find your way out of the park, it's dark, and you're alone. Sure, there may be a police officer nearby, or a helpful stranger...but it's just as likely to be a mugger. Do you really want to yell out "Hey, I'm over here! Someone come talk to me!"*
Pleasant dreams
ETA: *-This analogy isn't perfect. In the universe, there is no way out, there are no police officers, and the night never ends.