Who killed the dinosaurs?

[Marduk]

Humanity did it! The fight between Marduk and Tiamat in the Enuma Elish is clear evidence of that!

If you knew anything about Babylonian history at all, you'd know that whatever it was, the Hittites are the ones to blame for it

 

[Caustic Logic]

I love how open-ended this came out. There are some peculiar and funny and some that are funny to someone else but I don't get. That's okay. The important things is, we all had a chance to stop and reflect and to feel in our heart-bellies, regret tempered with grace, that we all killed the dinosaurs, each in our own little way.

 

[Shadou]

It wasn't me! It was the one-armed man!

 

[eriqk]

It was revealed some time ago in a documentary series cartoon on Nickelodeon.
To wit:

[WC = Wilbur Cobb]
WC: I know what really killed the dinosaurs: TV! Too much brain-dead TV! Turned them into a a lot of, you know, a bunch of slack jawed zombies, then they all drank out of a dirty dog dish, a disgusting habit. Oh no, no sorry its because they all moved to Jersey, yeah thats it. Haircuts, yeah they all had bad haircuts...

Ren: I still say think this is a load of crap... thats all he gives us, crap, crap crap, man I'm bored.

WC: Then they went and ate clams in a month without an 'R' - without an R yet! As a Union man, local 842, I find that shocking! Utterly shocking I cant believe it!

(Stimpy takes WC's hat, eyes ears and nose and put them on)

Stimpy: Look Ren, blah blah blah blah blah, this and that, blah blah blah blah blah

WC: Then they all went swimming, minutes after they finished eating... No! they thought they were superman and jumped off a building. Ran around with scissors in their hand, then poked their eyes out with grapefruit spoons... Athletes foot- NO! Hemorrhoids! Really bad hemorrhoids! Oh oh I know, they sneezed, belched and coughed at the same time! And they all exploded!

Stimpy: Wha!

Ren: It will all be over soon pal...

WC: Well it was a Peruvian Butt Plug... yeah and they all had to eat each other to survive! he he thats what happened... Super heated gases shrunk their lungs to the size of raisins! And the kid on the top bunk died!

Security guard: Hold it! Don't listen to this guy kids, he ain't nothing but a lowly bone polisher around here. Back to polishing, Cobb.

WC: No no, it was me! I killed the dinosaurs! Me, I did it! Mwahaha, with my bare hands, the mighty Cobbersaurus! I ran them over with my truck!

 

[BaaBaa]

Thank you. I would first like to thank god for putting those fake fossils in the ground in order to test my faith.

 

[Oystein]

Some ideas that haven't been posted yet - can you really rule out any of them? I mean, they are theories, and no one yet has disproved them!

1. The King-Kong-theory: The big fellow had both the means and the motives and the superior brains to whack them dinos

2. The Venus-theory: Overpopulation and depletion of vital resources (I don't have to name any, do I?) became more and more of a nuisance, so they all relocated to Venus. I even have proof for this: The high CO2-levels of the Venus atmosphere gives it away!

3. The They're-still-here-theory: Dinosaurs are still around today, but they hide from public scrutiny in places like Area 51, Roswell, Waziristan and Washington, DC. Very likely, the Mossad is behind it. Somehow.

4. The Therm_te theory. Somebody somewhere found something, and also an article that describes possible properties of future super-duper-pico-therm_te. So there! I win!

 

[Corsair 115]

5. There never were any dinosaurs! The bones are all fakes, part of a grand paleontology conspiracy to keep paleontologists funded and employed!