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What really happened that night.

McCragge

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Joined
May 19, 2005
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The following is based on factual accounts. Well at least as factual as the story presented by those other guys.

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It was a Thursday evening, and a slight cool breeze brought the smell of food across the plaza. Judas, was breathing hard as he had ran the whole distance here. He feared that the cult master would be upset at his tardiness so he couldn't stop to enjoy the smells that wafted towards him...

And so that is how that fateful evening began. To truly understand that facts of what happened that night we have to understand that Judas was a man of deep sentiment and feelings. He was a man that when he made friends with someone his loyalties to them was unwavering and such were his feelings towards the eleven disciples who, like him, followed the teachings of their cult master Jesus. But tonight, things would take a radical turn for the strange.

Judas arrived at the room where Jesus had called for a sudden meeting. Unfortunately Judas hadn't received word of this right away and showed up late. When he arrived the room was dark, barely lit by a few sputtering candles and the air was thick with the smoke of incense. He could barely make out the shadowy outlines of Jesus and his eleven best friends.

Judas quickly sat down not wanting to upset his master, he remembered the day the fig tree had no fruit for Jesus to eat when he was hungry and that sent a shiver down Judas' spine. It took a moment for Judas to get accustomed to breathing in the smoke filled room before he fully realized what Jesus was saying.

"...tonight is our last supper together. For tonight my brothers we will all go out into the garden and drink the wine that is my blood and we will all ascend into Heaven and there meet my father and live for eternity in Paradise..."

Judas sat there shocked. Not wanting to believe what he just heard. Was Jesus saying that they were all to drink poison and die in the garden with him? What crazy cult was this and why did none of his friends protest such a ridiculous request.

What to do was all Judas could think about, it was obvious by the looks of his friends that they were under some spell or evil spirit as they gazed adoringly on Jesus. Slowly, Judas crept towards the door and slipped out, he had to tell the authorities of the atrocity that was about to befall his friends. He knew that Jesus would most likely be arrested, but certainly that is what he deserved for trying to incite suicide in twelve people.

Later that evening, Judas came back with the local peacekeepers and pointed out Jesus to them. And in the knick of time no less as each of the eleven disciples had their drinking cups outstretched and Jesus stood in front of them with a pitcher of tainted wine ready to pour.

Unfortunately for Judas, who had saved the lives of eleven people that night, his was not to be one of them. He had hoped that the arrest of Jesus would snap his friends out of his deadly delusion, but that was not to be. Their anger at being robbed of the chance to live eternally in paradise angered them and they took Judas and hung him in a tree by his neck. Of course they had told the local Peacekeepers he had committed suicide out of guilt for betraying their master, but Judas was dead and his side of the story was repressed until now.

And so ended the life of Judas the true Savior!

Thoughts?
 
It's all purely academic, as the actual existence of Joshua of Nazareth as a historical figure is in serious doubt.
 
"Then he woke up and realized it had all been a bad dream. There was no cult master who demanded unquestioning obedience. There need be no guilt-ridden betrayal. He could stroll at his leisure through the market savouring all the aromas wafting to him, and the unabashed pleasures of almond-eyed maidens awaited him. And it was good.

The end."
 
LOL - Awesome, I love that ending. In fact that will be the new ending...since there is probably more evidence for that then the other versions :)

McCragge
 
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[T]hey took Judas and hung him in a tree by his neck.

When people are killed by suspending them by a rope around
the neck they are said to be hanged, not hung. I've been hung
up in trees a few times, but I've never been hanged (yet).
Those disciples must have been real practical jokers.
 
Well, only his mother called him "Joshua", and only when she was really angry with him.

Didn't she add his middle name? I thought all moms called their kids by their first and middle names when they were about to get a whuppin'.:D
 
Didn't she add his middle name? I thought all moms called their kids by their first and middle names when they were about to get a whuppin'.:D

"Joshua Harold ben Joseph, put down that Wiffle Ball bat and get in the house! Don't make me have to tell you again!" :D
 

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