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What is wrong with my peanut butter?

rebecca

Banned
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Joined
Apr 28, 2004
Messages
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My peanut butter contains 100 calories for every two tablespoons - about 50% less than most other peanut butters. Each serving has 2.5 grams of fat, compared to about 16g in most others. There are 95 mg of sodium (4% DV), 13g of carbs (4% dv), 2g of sugars, 4g of protein. It has some Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Calcium, and Iron.

Here's the kicker: my peanut butter is yummy. I haven't done a side by side comparison yet, but I don't mind buying this over "normal" peanut butters.

BUT THERE MUST BE A CATCH. I live in fear of anal leakage, or sudden infant death syndrome, or perhaps good old peanut butter-induced cancer.

"How'd she go, she was so young!" they'll cry at my funeral.

"They say t'was . . . the PEANUT BUTTER."

Here are the ingredients, reproduced exactly as on the label:
Peanuts (as defatted peanut flour and natural peanut butter), tapioca syrup, pure water, dehydrated cane juice, rice syrup, vegetable glycerin, soy flour, salt, tapioca starch, natural flavors, paprika & annatto, calcium carbonate, lecithin, vitamins E & C (antioxidants).

The question I put to you now is: how will my peanut butter kill me?
 
Mojo said:
It will fall from a high shelf onto your head.
Click to expand...

While it is true that the peanut butter jar contains one pound (16 oz) of peanut butter, I keep it in the refrigerator a mere two feet off the ground. Thank you for trying, though.

Also, this brings up another warning signal: the jar demands that it be placed in the refrigerator. I have never before kept peanut butter in the refrigerator. Something is fishy.
 
rebecca said:
My peanut butter contains 100 calories for every two tablespoons - about 50% less than most other peanut butters. Each serving has 2.5 grams of fat, compared to about 16g in most others. There are 95 mg of sodium (4% DV), 13g of carbs (4% dv), 2g of sugars, 4g of protein. It has some Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Calcium, and Iron.

Here's the kicker: my peanut butter is yummy. I haven't done a side by side comparison yet, but I don't mind buying this over "normal" peanut butters.

BUT THERE MUST BE A CATCH. I live in fear of anal leakage, or sudden infant death syndrome, or perhaps good old peanut butter-induced cancer.

"How'd she go, she was so young!" they'll cry at my funeral.

"They say t'was . . . the PEANUT BUTTER."

Here are the ingredients, reproduced exactly as on the label:
Peanuts (as defatted peanut flour and natural peanut butter), tapioca syrup, pure water, dehydrated cane juice, rice syrup, vegetable glycerin, soy flour, salt, tapioca starch, natural flavors, paprika & annatto, calcium carbonate, lecithin, vitamins E & C (antioxidants).

The question I put to you now is: how will my peanut butter kill me?
Click to expand...

I don't know, but "dehydrated cane juice" sounds so much worse than "sugar." Then there are those mysterious "natural flavors." Arsenic? Cyanide? Who can say? They say cyanide smells like almonds.. almonds are sort of like peanuts..

Enjoy.
 
Uh...Rebecca...what's that growing on your skin? Looks kinda like a hard, mottled shell....OH DEAR GOD!
 
rebecca, I'm glad you like your peanut butter, but that ingredient list makes me sad. I like natural peanut butter (Smucker's) because it just tastes better. Their regular creamy, 2 tbsp, has 16g fat (2.5g saturated) and only 6g carbs (1g sugar). That's 210 calories. They also have a reduced fat version, but the calories are practically the same.

How will your peanut butter kill you? If it's too sticky, it'll lodge in your throat and you'll asphyxiate. If you rub it all over your body, you'll be eaten by bears. If you shampoo with it, it'll seep into your brain. The biggest threat to your health, really, is the Wonder Bread you're spreading it on. Eat it right off the spoon like I do!
 
rebecca said:
Here are the ingredients, reproduced exactly as on the label:
Peanuts (as defatted peanut flour and natural peanut butter), tapioca syrup, pure water, dehydrated cane juice, rice syrup, vegetable glycerin, soy flour, salt, tapioca starch, natural flavors, paprika & annatto, calcium carbonate, lecithin, vitamins E & C (antioxidants).

The question I put to you now is: how will my peanut butter kill me?
Click to expand...
Looks like they removed peanut oil and replaced it with water and thickeners and such. So it is a more processed food, but does not look to have anything that jumps out at me. They just put in other viscous fluids in for the peanut oil and partialy hydrogenated vegitable oil(to keep the oil from seperating), normaly in peanut butter.
 
hgc said:
rebecca, I'm glad you like your peanut butter, but that ingredient list makes me sad. I like natural peanut butter (Smucker's) because it just tastes better. Their regular creamy, 2 tbsp, has 16g fat (2.5g saturated) and only 6g carbs (1g sugar). That's 210 calories. They also have a reduced fat version, but the calories are practically the same.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry my unnatural peanut butter makes you sad. It makes me happy because it has half the calories of yours so I can eat twice as much.

Also, thank you for reminding me to add the fact that my peanut butter contains no saturated fat and no cholesterol. 20 of the calories come from fat.

hgc said:
The biggest threat to your health, really, is the Wonder Bread you're spreading it on.
Click to expand...

That's a good guess, but I am actually scooping it out of the jar using celery stalks. Further guesses as to how my peanut butter will kill me should focus primarily on the unholy peanut butter and not its means of conveyance.
 
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ponderingturtle said:
Looks like they removed peanut oil and replaced it with water and thickeners and such. So it is a more processed food, but does not look to have anything that jumps out at me. They just put in other viscous fluids in for the peanut oil and partialy hydrogenated vegitable oil(to keep the oil from seperating), normaly in peanut butter.
Click to expand...

Interesting. This certainly sounds like a benefit, but surely there must be some evil behind it, or else all the peanut butter companies would do it.

Oh, and another fact for everyone to take into consideration when calculating how my peanut butter will kill me: my peanut butter is smooth, not chunky. I did not see a chunky option.
 
hgc said:
rebecca, I'm glad you like your peanut butter, but that ingredient list makes me sad. I like natural peanut butter (Smucker's) because it just tastes better. Their regular creamy, 2 tbsp, has 16g fat (2.5g saturated) and only 6g carbs (1g sugar). That's 210 calories. They also have a reduced fat version, but the calories are practically the same.

How will your peanut butter kill you? If it's too sticky, it'll lodge in your throat and you'll asphyxiate. If you rub it all over your body, you'll be eaten by bears. If you shampoo with it, it'll seep into your brain. The biggest threat to your health, really, is the Wonder Bread you're spreading it on. Eat it right off the spoon like I do!
Click to expand...

Also with the reduced fat, you will get different results if you bake with it
 
rebecca said:
Interesting. This certainly sounds like a benefit, but surely there must be some evil behind it, or else all the peanut butter companies would do it.

Oh, and another fact for everyone to take into consideration when calculating how my peanut butter will kill me: my peanut butter is smooth, not chunky. I did not see a chunky option.
Click to expand...

You can always make it chunky yourself, put some peanuts in the food processor and break them up a bit and mix them in, that is how all chunky peanut butter is made.

As for why everyone doesn't do this, well it is a much more engeneered product and so has many more steps in it so it would be more expensive to produce.
 
Some mad scientist will make an artificial peanut allergy plague that'll wipe out all the peanut butter eaters of the world.

/cretons are so much better than peanut butter anyway, in every way.
 
Sadly, checked the nutritional info on the peanut butter (plain ground peanuts) in my fridge. Looks like your butter has less protein (mine is 28% protein), but also less calories... Does yours fill you up as much as 'normal' peanut butter?

The way your peanut butter will kill you is when you find and swallow the one chunk of peanut they missed ;)
 
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jon said:
Sadly, checked the nutritional info on the peanut butter (plain ground peanuts) in my fridge. Looks like your butter has less protein (mine is 28% protein), but also less calories... Does yours fill you up as much as 'normal' peanut butter?

The way your peanut butter will kill you is when you find and swallow the one chunk of peanut they missed ;)
Click to expand...

The peanut butter appears to fill me up rather well, though it's tough to tell because just after eating it I had a giant slice of cake and a piece of fudge.

On an unrelated note, I think I'm going to barf.







edited to add for Lisa Simpson:
 
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Sounds to me like they have found a marketing gimmick to sell the leftovers after making peanut oil. You know, that "defatted peanut flour" that was previously sold to the pig farmers? The comparably lower protein content is probably due to the dilution of all the additives like DihydrogenOxide, tapioca and other sludge. It sounds about as natural as modern ice cream, what with all those gums and starchs that were NOT in my ganny's recipe.

Hey, If I want to eat gums and starches, I'll buy a bag of Gummi Worms, lots more fun.
 
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