Denise said:
Exactly, a lot of people stop going to doctors because they lecture them constantly. I'm a smoker and I know I should quit. Been able to quit for a few months at a time and am going to give it another go this spring. But it seems that every malady these days are caused by smoking... I've had a doctor who wouldn't give me antibiotics for bronchitis because I smoke. I've had doctors lecture me when I'm in for something like a torn muscle. I rarely go to doctors unless I am really really sick. Or else they lecture about weight. I had a doctor tell me I should lose weight after losing 30 pounds in six months. Geez, I am losing weight why do you have that chart when you don't read it?
You're right. However...
Many times (as was noted above) patients don't get the "soft approach" that is suggested. And, as was stated as well, this is a fairly sophisticated audience more intelligent than the average Joe. But, you're still right. People ultimately will listen, but
hear only what they want to - no matter how you say it.
My general approach, so far, about smoking has been to say this: "The single biggest thing you can do to improve your overall health is to quit smoking." I don't lecture. I don't ask questions I already know the answer to. I just say that and leave it at that. I think this has a bigger impact on people. And, it's a true statement.
I have also found that if people want to talk about quitting or are ready to quit, they'll tell you. Many people, like yourself, want to quit but just aren't ready to quit. And, if someone starts to say to me, "You don't understand how hard it is" or whatever, I ask them to tell me. This tends to get a dialogue going. And, at the end of that dialogue, I usually say, "Well, that's the advice I have. Take it or leave it. You have to live your own life. Whatever you ultimately do isn't going to affect mine." And, I mean that.
I think many people are afraid of their doctors opinions of them. In actuality, I see (even now) about 15-20 people a day in the clinic by myself. Sure, I'm supervised, but I still take the history, examine the patient, do the work-up, order tests, etc. This is part of my training. And, I go home at the end of the day and don't worry about people's personal lives. I'm their consultant, nothing more. If they don't want to take my advice (or my attendings advice), trust me when I say that it doesn't affect me. Most doctors feel this way.
-TT