I've been in the military. After basic training, it's not as much like that as you think. And soldiers are very much expected to clean up after themselves and keep their quarters neat and tidy. They're also expected to do their own laundry. All the usual housework. And not on any schedule, either, but in their free time between other obligations. Just like any other responsible adult.
About the most significant factor, which you overlooked, is that their quarters are subject to inspection, and they face real consequences if they shirk. Which, there should be something similar in a loving partnership between responsible adults, but a lot of times there isn't. That's not because men are incapable of doing their own housework, though.