Voluntary BDSM or Aggravated Assault?

[Ivor the Engineer]

The age of consent. Go figure.

What should the age of consent be?

Hey Ivor, what do you think the maximum age of a 30 year old's sexual partner should be? 80? 90? 101?

I've already stated my point of view on the age differential between sexual partners. For your specific example I don't think it would be an issue so long as both parties were considered mentally competent.

 

[jiggeryqua]

Men prey on vulnerable 15 year old girls. Sad but true.

Do you? Count me out. Do any women prey on vulnerable 15 yo boys? Can women prey? Can boys be vulnerable?

 

[jiggeryqua]

What should the age of consent be?

Whatever the lawmakers decide. Start a new thread, though I'm sure it's been discussed before. In the meanwhile, the activity in the OP was legal, both partners consented.

 

[Mark6]

Further, what part of BDSM would you regulate? Do you realize that BDSM is not just "tieing up and spanking your girlfriend's butt"? BDSM encompasses THOUSANDS of fetishes and preference. Go ahead and pick and choose which ones you think need to be regulated. Go ahead and tell me the why for example, would spanking not be regulated but caning would be.

At a guess, I would say because it is physically impossible to inflict serious bodily harm with spanking. Whereas with caning it is entirely possible. With asphyxiation, even more so.

Mind you, I am not actually advocating laws regulating BDSM. But the idea is not as stupid as you seen to think.

 

[Arcade22]

Ok, you got me on gay men. Understand that in this country where news is important, we recently have had undergraduates from Yale University chanting in public...

No means Yes
Yes means Anal!
No means Yes
Yes means Anal!....

I'm scratching my chin and realize these heterosexual guys are watching too much internet porn.

Weird. All my friends and their friends watch porn all the time yet none of them do things like that. Maybe Americans are different.

You haven't been monitoring the current state of internet porn. Fortunately for everyone I have been, for scientific curiosity, and the B&D scenes you can easily find for free are something you don't want your 15, 16 or even 17 year old to play with.

Such as? Why wouldn't i want my 17 year old daughter to do "that" but am i supposed to approve the second she turns 18?

I thought I was a savvy teen about porn because my dad had a Playboy subscription. I was as naive as could be compared with what todays children have access to. I believe that is wrong. Boys today see crazy sex that isn't necessary to have a wonderful sex life.

I'm pretty sure that what's a "wonderful sex life" is up to the individuals in question to determine. Oh wait, then we can't judge other peoples private lives.

I'm not inexperienced with such things but a 20 something with a 15 year old girl may be right for one in five hundred situations - but it is exploitive in the other four hundred and ninety-nine situations.

Evidence please.

Men prey on vulnerable 15 year old girls. Sad but true.

Just like women pray on 15 year old boys. We once had a case here where a female teacher made a 15 year old student have sex with her, despite the fact that he didn't want to. Why are women so evil and heartless?

 

[BenBurch]

At a guess, I would say because it is physically impossible to inflict serious bodily harm with spanking. ...

Bingo Sierra.

 

[Ivor the Engineer]

Whatever the lawmakers decide. Start a new thread, though I'm sure it's been discussed before. In the meanwhile, the activity in the OP was legal, both partners consented.

There's not much point having a discussion with people who are only interested in giving glib answers to difficult and relevant questions.

I'll leave you to it.

 

[jiggeryqua]

There's not much point having a discussion with people who are only interested in giving glib answers to difficult and relevant questions.

I'll leave you to it.

I welcome difficult and relevant questions. But if you want to discuss the legal actions of the OP by initiating a debate on why the law should be adjusted every time someone capable of making their own decisions makes a decision you don't like, I repeat my suggestion that you start a new thread for it. I'll leave you to it.

 

[Mark6]

Bingo Sierra.

Not only I have no idea what it means, google search on "Bingo Sierra" and "spanking" turned up nothing. At least, nothing meaningful. Which strogly implies you are referring to something WAY in left field.

 

[BenBurch]

Not only I have no idea what it means, google search on "Bingo Sierra" and "spanking" turned up nothing. At least, nothing meaningful. Which strogly implies you are referring to something WAY in left field.

A wordy way of saying "B.S." In other words, you can cause grievous bodily harm (and worse) with a vicious spanking. It is simply a bit harder to do it that way.

 

[jiggeryqua]

A wordy way of saying "B.S." In other words, you can cause grievous bodily harm (and worse) with a vicious spanking. It is simply a bit harder to do it that way.

In the interests of full disclosure, may I relate an anecdote? While giving my current bedwarmer the hearty slaps to her posterior that she was requesting, I was also engaging in a more commonly accepted vanilla heterosexual practise which restricted both my view of the target and my access to it. All was going well until I missed... I hit the next nearest target, which happened to be a part of me particularly sensitive to such an assault, albeit self-inflicted.

So yes, you can do a lot of damage with even a playful pat. No lasting harm in this event, but there is a risk inherent in all human activity.

 

[23_Tauri]

Bringing up the persecution of gays is just you coming from left field again, there really is no meaningful connection.

Wrong. There are many gay sex practises that are as dangerous, or more dangerous, than BDSM. How about cruising in public toilets? You want that regulated too? I'd like to see two gentlemen carrying out a full risk assessment of their environment and the activity in which they are about to indulge in before they - ahem - have a shared experience.

 

[Ron_Tomkins]

We have an interesting law case here in Sweden. A 16 year old had sex with a 30 year old. Now this in by itself is 100% legal since the age of consent is 15, except in special circumstances. The problem was that the sex was violent. He apparently "locked the girl in a dog crate, how he put crocodile clips on her breasts and fastened them to the wall so she had to stand on her toes and that he repeatedly struck the girl's naked body with a cane". The girls mother apparently saw the bruising and contacted the authorities.

He was cleared in the Tingsrätt but the prosecutor decided to appeal to the Hovrätt. I heard someone said that they would hear the case in may but i haven't heard anything new about the case.

This obviously begs the question on what kind of things one should be allowed to do to another person. Personally i feel that as long as the risk of long term injury, death or etc is minimal then it should be legal.

Here's the story btw (yeah it's goggle translate but you get the gist of it, våldssex = violent sex): http://translate.google.com/transla...n-kan-inte-samtycka-till-grov-misshandel.html

She didn't do it the right way.

 

[23_Tauri]

What should the age of consent be?

As tesscaline said in an earlier post, there's no magic cut off point where a child suddenly becomes an adult. But for the purposes of the law a line has to be drawn. 16 is pretty universal across the Western world and I think we've got it about right. But then I'm a product of my cultural background, so I'm going to be biased towards my own country.

Here's a table with ages of consent around the world.

I've already stated my point of view on the age differential between sexual partners. For your specific example I don't think it would be an issue so long as both parties were considered mentally competent.

Oh that's cool then. So old wrinklies having sex is not "ewwww!"

Mentally competent? So someone with a touch of Alzheimers? How does that figure in your scale of mental competence? Or is sexual exploitation of OAPs not common enough to raise any concern?

 

[Ryokan]

You haven't been monitoring the current state of internet porn. Fortunately for everyone I have been, for scientific curiosity...

Boys today see crazy sex that isn't necessary to have a wonderful sex life.

Do you really believe only boys watch porn?

 

[Mark6]

A wordy way of saying "B.S." In other words, you can cause grievous bodily harm (and worse) with a vicious spanking. It is simply a bit harder to do it that way.

True, but by that logic forks and Q-tips should also be regulated.

Not that I imply you want spanking regulated! (And I certainly do not)

 

[qayak]

True, but by that logic forks and Q-tips should also be regulated.

Technically they are. If you stab someone with a fork, it's assault with a weapon and all weapons are regulated in that you can't use them against other people except in limited, and specific, situations.

 

[23_Tauri]

Do you really believe only boys watch porn?

Can't wait for Senex to answer this one!

 

[JFrankA]

Technically they are. If you stab someone with a fork, it's assault with a weapon and all weapons are regulated in that you can't use them against other people except in limited, and specific, situations.

That's not regulation of a Q-tip or a fork. That's "don't assault someone".

I can use a Q-Tip to tickle my partner's bare feet or use a fork lightly scrape my girlfriend's inner thigh if I want to give her some tingling chills.

....or should THAT be regulated....?

 

[Ivor the Engineer]

As tesscaline said in an earlier post, there's no magic cut off point where a child suddenly becomes an adult. But for the purposes of the law a line has to be drawn. 16 is pretty universal across the Western world and I think we've got it about right. But then I'm a product of my cultural background, so I'm going to be biased towards my own country.

Okay. From what little I've read of the case it appears the young woman was aware of what she wanted to do. Do you think that is the case for the majority of 16 year olds having "vanilla" sex with much older men or women, let alone BDSM involving bondage, stress positions and spanking/caning?

For example, this recent case shows the other extreme, with girls and young women being exploited by older men.

If we were more accepting of the type of relationship in the OP, would we become less sensitive to cases where abuse and/or exploitation has taken place?

<snip>

Mentally competent? So someone with a touch of Alzheimers? How does that figure in your scale of mental competence? Or is sexual exploitation of OAPs not common enough to raise any concern?

All kinds of physical and psychological abuse of OAPs and other vulnerable groups is unfortunately common.