Regarding the link that was provided by UncaYimmy about psychosis,
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/psychosis-delusions-personality-disorders.html, I've read it carefully and here is my response (if anyone is curious):
You brought this up publicly, so I'm only going along.
Psychotics are fully aware of events and people "out there". They cannot, however separate data and experiences originating in the outside world from information generated by internal mental processes. They confuse the external universe with their inner emotions, cognitions, preconceptions, fears, expectations, and representations.
I most definitely can separate between the unusual perceptions and those that result from ordinary senses. I have no confusion between myself and the external universe. The reason I initiated this paranormal investigation is because I've experienced correlation between the perceptions and with facts, not because of my interpretation of correlation, but by impersonal confirmation. And all that concludes is to have a test.
Wow. How do you
know you can? In my case I don't have any beliefs about myself that I have not seen documented scientifically. Nobody has every told me I do. Of course, that could be a disorder where I forget that people tell me I have bizarre beliefs. It's possible, but extremely unlikely because I've never seen it documented. But then again, that, too, could be part of my disorder. So either I'm severely delusional or I'm not at all. If I am, how come I can live a stable life? But maybe I'm really not. Maybe I'm strapped down to a bed like in St. Elsewhere.
You, on the other hand, believe things never proven to be true and have been repeatedly told that you hold bizarre beliefs (ghosts, incarnations, your medical/chemical claims). You acknowledge this as fact. You just choose not to acknowledge what this might mean.
Consequently, both psychotics and the personality disordered have a distorted view of reality and are not rational. No amount of objective evidence can cause them to doubt or reject their hypotheses and convictions. Full-fledged psychosis involves complex and ever more bizarre delusions and the unwillingness to confront and consider contrary data and information (preoccupation with the subjective rather than the objective). Thought becomes utterly disorganized and fantastic.
I am very rational. I just have unusual experiences, but the experiences do not come about by choice, it is not as if I've "rationalized myself into allowing them to occur". I rationally decide to have a scientific test to establish the objective truth behind my interestingly accurate perceptions. I love objective evidence, I am a scientist science student. There is nothing I enjoy more than reading about some concept of physics that defies all everyday experience and to take it as truth simply because it is proven with objective scientific verification and is agreed to by the scientific community, even if I can't visualize it right away. This paragraph didn't apply to me.
I contend you are rejecting objective evidence and are unwilling to confront contradictory data.
- You claimed you could read photos and video, but when met with failure, you dropped it down to just sometimes.
- You claimed you could identify chemicals, but then stopped testing when the results were less than accurate.
- You claimed you could do vibrational algebra, but refuse to demonstrate it.
- You claimed to detect a vasectomy, but when you presented with an opportunity for an objective test, you claimed you could not detect any in your study at the mall.
- You refuse in general to test small and simple things and insist on only testing the most difficult and time-consuming claims.
- You refuse to involve your instructors who are experts in quantum mechanics.
The DSM-IV-TR defines psychosis as "restricted to delusions or prominent hallucinations, with the hallucinations occurring in the absence of insight into their pathological nature".
I experience perceptions, impressions, of tissue, and do not consider the perceptions to be pathological. Most people experience periods of having random strange thoughts that they can not stop or control and I don't even have that.
You said that you cannot control some perceptions because they are so strong. In this case pathological means highly abnormal. Billions of people on the planet, only one Vision From Feeling. Can't get much more abnormal than that unless you had an identical twin.
A delusion is "a false belief based on incorrect inference about external reality that is firmly sustained despite what almost everyone else believes and despite what constitutes incontrovertible and obvious proof or evidence to the contrary".
Aha! I am not delusional! So stop it, everyone! There is no belief behind my perceptions, they are images and impressions, that's all, and I do not automatically place belief into them. They are also not firmly sustained, I am open to finding out that they'd not always be accurate. And as a scientist science student I would never find it in me to reject incontrovertible and obvious proof and evidence.
Anita, that paragraph describes you perfectly. Your only defense is that there is "no belief" behind your impressions. C'mon, if there was no belief, you wouldn't have created a website and announced your claim on at least three different skeptic websites.
A hallucination is a "sensory perception that has the compelling sense of reality of a true perception but that occurs without external stimulation of the relevant sensory organ".
Aha! Yet again from a third definition my perceptions are not hallucinations! My perceptions do not come with a compelling sense of reality of a true perception! But they do however occur without external stimulation of the relevant sensory organ.
You claim to have seen ghosts and spoken with them. You claim to fear some of them and joke with others.
Delusion is, therefore, a belief, idea, or conviction firmly held despite abundant information to the contrary. The partial or complete loss of reality test is the first indication of a psychotic state or episode. (...) There are many types of delusions:
My belief is to proceed toward a scientific test to find out what the actual accuracy is and what the actual origin of the information is. There has been no information contrary to this belief.
The evidence is that no other person in the history of mankind has scientifically demonstrated what you claim. The "evidence" leading you to this test is regarded by the scientifically minded people here as wholly unworthy of testing for validity. The evidence points to other known phenomena, yet you refuse to let go of the possibility of something never proven.
I. Paranoid
The belief that one is being controlled or persecuted by stealth powers and conspiracies. This is common in the Paranoid, Antisocial, Narcissistic, Borderline, Avoidant, and Dependent Personality Disorders.
Not me.
Agreed.
2. Grandiose-magical
The conviction that one is important, omnipotent, possessed of occult powers, or a historic figure. Narcissists invariably harbor such delusions.
Hm, yes. I feel important because I aspire to make progress within the field of medical technology, meanwhile I think everyone is important in their own way, and this is just what give meaning to my own existence. Omnipotent I am not, I've got shortcomings. Well, experience suggests that I might have some powers, but tests will establish whether I am entitled to take it as a conviction.
It is grandiose to believe that you have a power never, ever seen before in recorded history.
Hallucinations are false perceptions based on false sensa (sensory input) not triggered by any external event or entity. The patient is usually not psychotic - he is aware that he what he sees, smells, feels, or hears is not there. Still, some psychotic states are accompanied by hallucinations.
The perceptions are triggered by external events or entities. The perceptions are what I automatically associate to when exposed to external things.
That does not apply to your ghost stories or claims of being an incarnation of a distant star.
There are a few classes of hallucinations:
Auditory - The false perception of voices and sounds (such as buzzing, humming, radio transmissions, whispering, motor noises, and so on).
Not me.
You claim to talk with ghosts and hear them moving around.
Gustatory - The false perception of tastes
I can't conclude whether they are false. For instance when I look at a person's neck and can taste what they are eating and it is in fact the taste of what they are eating. I don't know about this one.
You claim to taste what others taste without that substance touching your tongue, but don't consider that a false perception? Nobody has ever proven they can do that.
Olfactory - The false perception of smells and scents (e.g., burning flesh, candles)
Not me. Except when I perceive that the human stomach smells like hydrochloric acid sometimes, but for all we know that would be a true perception or an association. Just like when people look at food and can almost "taste it", except that this comes from an image perceived in the mind and not perceived with eyesight.
Not you. Except it is you.
Somatic - The false perception of processes and events that are happening inside the body or to the body (e.g., piercing objects, electricity running through one's extremities). Usually supported by an appropriate and relevant delusional content.
Not me.
What about your claims regarding seeing through the eyes of another person? What about how you told me that you perceive what your partner feels when having sex?
Tactile - The false sensation of being touched, or crawled upon or that events and processes are taking place under one's skin. Usually supported by an appropriate and relevant delusional content.
No! Scary!
You wrote, "The girl started pushing on me with all her might, "Get out of my house!" And you know what? I was experiencing an actual physical push."
Visual - The false perception of objects, people, or events in broad daylight or in an illuminated environment with eyes wide open.
Only ghosts, except we don't know that they are false, and everytime I see them other people see them too. They manifest like white veils that have a partial human form. Often I say nothing, and wait for friends to say it first. This is the only unusual thing that I actually see with my eyes and in the physical world itself, but, others see it too. All other unusual things occur in my mind's awareness and not seen/projected around me.
Yeh. Ghosts. Sigh. I don't want to re-explain practical reliability, but suffice it to say that despite thousands of years of ghost stories and testing, no scientific proof exists. There's no way to *prove* something doesn't exist, but if we perform a gazillion tests and fail to prove it does exist, then we've met our burden.
Hypnagogic and Hypnopompic - Images and trains of events experienced while falling asleep or when waking up. Not hallucinations in the strict sense of the word.
Not me.
Okay.
What can we conclude? Do we have a psychologist or psychiatrist among us?
Here's what *I* would conclude if I were in your shoes: I'd make a few visits to the university clinic. Seriously.
If I had several people telling me that I might suffer from delusions, I would check it out. You have one lady who has 30 years of experience with schizotypal disorders telling you to check it out. You have me, whom you have acknowledged as at least fairly decent at scientific analysis (you used the term brilliant). Several others here have all said the same thing. Would you let us do a poll about it? Would a vote make a difference? How about private messages? Maybe people should PM you if they think you should at least consult a medical health professional.
We have nothing to gain by making this recommendation. You have nothing to lose by going. You can still do all your studies and tests, just make a few visits and bring along *everything* you've written here and on your website, including the ghost stories.
When going through my divorce ages ago, a couple of people said that I seemed to be depressed and having some anxiety issues. I didn't think that I was, but I agreed to see a therapist for a few sessions.
At that same time my ex reacted very poorly to me in an e-mail exchange. I was totally caught off guard that what I had written could promote such a reaction. So I printed out and gave to the therapist every e-mail we had exchanged since we had split up (long story, but that was the bulk of our communication at the time).
Why? Because I figured that one or both of us (wife and I) were way out of line. I figured if it were me, then I couldn't trust my perceptions to be accurate, so I giving her an *exact* accounting was the only way to go.
The result? My perceptions about the exchange were accurate, which was further evidenced that summer as my ex did a number of other strange things to what are now her ex friends.
As for the depression, it turns out I *was* suffering from depression but didn't realize it. It also turns out that in my teens I probably had a bout with depression and probably one other time in the intervening years. Those four sessions taught me a lot.
To this day I am aware that I might suffer from depression again. Though I understand the warning signs, I still look to others (my current wife) to double-check my perceptions.
Mental illness is just an illness like any other illness. It's nothing to be ashamed of. If you expect your friend to get his heart checked out because of your unproven vision, then why not trust a group of skeptics (of all people) who suggest you might have a problem based on reading thousands of your words and looking at articles written by experts?