Vatican on Pope: "It's curtains"

username said:

Put some of those brain chips in his head so his thoughts can be read from his brain and we can have an eternal robo pope. Hell, just hook those brain chips up to a wireless network and build a robot. Have the pope's brain control the robot. Just put his brain in a jar on the shelf somewhere.

The pope should never be allowed to die.
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Rife with sin

There is only one man

who can defeat the forces of evil

Satan, prepare to meet thy doom

Prepare for.....


The POPINATOR!!!!!!

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Cleon said:
Just saw that he died. Great.

Now we'll be inundated with at least three weeks of nothing but coverage of his death, rememberances, the huge honkin' funeral (live on TV, with many repeats, I'm sure), biographies, the works.

I think the execs at all the major media outlets just ejaculated.
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You mean like this?....

(Scene: a man and a woman in a restaurant with a TV...)

Man: Morning!
Waitress: Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and pope; egg bacon and pope; egg bacon sausage and pope; pope bacon sausage and pope; pope egg pope pope bacon and pope; pope sausage pope pope bacon pope tomato and pope;
Media: Pope pope pope pope...
Waitress: ...pope pope pope egg and pope; pope pope pope pope pope pope baked beans pope pope pope...
Media: Pope! Lovely pope! Lovely pope!
Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and pope.
Wife: Have you got anything without pope?
Waitress: Well, there's pope egg sausage and pope, that's not got much pope in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY pope!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon pope and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got pope in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much pope in it as pope egg sausage and pope, has it?
Media: Pope pope pope pope... (Crescendo through next few lines...)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon pope and sausage without the pope then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like pope!
Media: Lovely pope! Wonderful pope!
Waitress: Shut up!
Media: Lovely pope! Wonderful pope!
Waitress: Shut up! (Media stop) Bloody Media! You can't have egg bacon pope and sausage without the pope.
Wife: I don't like pope!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your pope. I love it. I'm having pope pope pope pope pope pope pope beaked beans pope pope pope and pope!
Media: Pope pope pope pope. Lovely pope! Wonderful pope!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her pope instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean pope pope pope pope pope pope... (but it is too late and the Media drown her words)
Media: Pope pope pope pope. Lovely pope! Wonderful pope! Pope p-o-o-o-o-o-p-e pope p-o-o-o-o-p-e pope. Lovely pope! Lovely pope! Lovely pope! Lovely pope! Lovely pope! Pope pope pope pope!
 
Yes, but it seems to be going more like this:


POPE: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: What?
MEDIA: Nothing -- here's your nine pence.
POPE: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: Here -- he says he's not dead!
MEDIA: Yes, he is.
POPE: I'm not!
MORTICIAN: He isn't.
MEDIA: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
POPE: I'm getting better!
MEDIA: No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment.
MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take him like that -- it's against
regulations.
POPE: I don't want to go in the cart!
MEDIA: Oh, don't be such a baby.
MORTICIAN: I can't take him...
POPE: I feel fine!
MEDIA: Oh, do us a favor...
MORTICIAN: I can't.
MEDIA: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He
won't be long.
MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost
nine today.
MEDIA: Well, when is your next round?
MORTICIAN: Thursday.
POPE: I think I'll go for a walk.
MEDIA: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there
something you can do?
POPE: I feel happy... I feel happy.
[whop]
MEDIA: Ah, thanks very much.
MORTICIAN: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
MEDIA: Right.
 
Re: Re: Vatican on Pope: "It's curtains"

Lisa Simpson said:
Hmm...two of Sylvia's 2005 predictions have (or are about to) come true.

Robert Blake was found not guilty (although really there was a one-third chance of that prediction)

Pope dies (almost a 100% chance of this one)
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Sylvia predicted that an 84 year old man who was once severely wounded and suffers from Parkinson's disease might die?

Wow...I'm a believer now.
 
Re: Re: Re: Vatican on Pope: "It's curtains"

headscratcher4 said:
Sylvia predicted that an 84 year old man who was once severely wounded and suffers from Parkinson's disease might die?

Wow...I'm a believer now.
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Did you know there's going to be 3 Popes after this one dies? She said that, too.
 
Oh, and I should also mention that she didn't bring up the triumvirate Pope on the Montel show at the beginning of this year. She only mentioned that the next Pope will be black.

But does that mean that one of the three will be black? All three will be black? Or all of them will be like those half black/half white aliens on Star Trek. But then they'd have to be all the same, because if they weren't, the white/black popes would be fighting with the black/white popes. And then there would be chaos, I tells ya! Chaos!
 
If my memory serves me correctly we have to wait for the white smoke from the chimney to tell us the new pope has been chosen.
The last one was a long time ago but unfortunately I remember it.
:(
 
Marquis de Carabas said:
If one Pope is black, the entire triumvirate is black. Don't you know how this works?
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I thought it worked that when you reached in and pulled out a black Pope, the odds that of reaching in and pulling out a white Pope was .50?
 
LostAngeles said:
I thought it worked that when you reached in and pulled out a black Pope, the odds that of reaching in and pulling out a white Pope was .50?
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I believe it depends on when this occurs. But I could be wrong.

JPK
 
LostAngeles said:
I thought it worked that when you reached in and pulled out a black Pope, the odds that of reaching in and pulling out a white Pope was .50?
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But if you keep His Holiness, Pope Schroedinger, in the box, he's both white and black at the same time.
 
LostAngeles said:
I thought it worked that when you reached in and pulled out a black Pope, the odds that of reaching in and pulling out a white Pope was .50?
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Well, if it's a black male Pope, both other Popes will be white female Popes. Did you learn nothing from Patrick?
 
Marquis de Carabas said:
Well, if it's a black male Pope, both other Popes will be white female Popes. Did you learn nothing from Patrick?
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That it's the Liberal Media Elite that holds the white man... I mean, black female down in their anti-WM jihad and keeps me from finding a picture of the "Space Pope" from Xenosaga Ep II to post as my nomination for the next Pope.

Because dude, Space Pope has giant robot. And when I say giant robot, I mean giant robot. And that's what a Pope needs.

Edited: Because I accidently spoiled.
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Vatican on Pope: "It's curtains"

Lisa Simpson said:
"16. No longer a single Pope, but a triumvirate of Popes, each assigned to a geographic collection of Catholics."

From: http://www.skepticreport.com/psychics/sylvia2100.htm#religion
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I believe the tried something like this in the 12th Century...it didn't work too well...all three, I believe, are more or less considered anti-popes. Maybe Sylvia can tell us....
 
Isn't it the office and not the man?


It seems you could pick anyone to be the ' Pope ' and then God will make him ( her? ) the ' POPE '...

I don't understand why people pray for the Pope either.. Seems a bit presumptious...
 
Diogenes said:
Isn't it the office and not the man?


It seems you could pick anyone to be the ' Pope ' and then God will make him ( her? ) the ' POPE '...

I don't understand why people pray for the Pope either.. Seems a bit presumptious...
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No, God guides the cardinals in their choice to ensure the right person becomes Pope. You didn't think it was left up to chance or just the personal preferences of a bunch of cardinals did you?


(Edited for,)
 
Marquis de Carabas said:
Well, if it's a black male Pope, both other Popes will be white female Popes. Did you learn nothing from Patrick?
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Game, set, and match to the Marquis!
 
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