Unitarian Joke

[Nova Land]

A friend sent me a card recently that I thought was cute.

The front shows a monk-like figure -- bearded, semi-balding, wearing a loose robe -- smiling beatifically as brightly-colored birds fly above his head. "IT'S ALL GOD...," the caption reads, "AND IT'S ALL GOOD."

(keep going...)









Open the card up, and now the man is standing there scratching his beard and pondering, The caption reads: "Of course, I could be wrong."

(keep going...)









And at the very bottom is a label identifying him as St Francis the Unitarian.

If you're a Unitarian or know much about them, it's pretty funny.

 

[Upchurch]

A friend sent me a card recently that I thought was cute.

If you have a scanner, I'd love to see that one!

 

[Tricky]

A yuppie buys a new Mercedes and he is so proud, he wants to have it blessed. He goes to a Catholic priest
********
Priest: How can I help you my son.
Yuppie: I want you to bless my new Mercades, Father.
Priest: (horrified) Foul sinner! How dare you ask for the sacrament of the Lord for a material possession?! Begone
********
So he goes to a rabbi
********
Yuppie: Rabbi, I wonder if you could bless my new Mercades?
Rabbi: Vell, dat is coitenly understandable, but ve don't bless tings unless dey is Kosher.
********
Finally the yuppie in desperation goes to a Unitarian minister
********
Yuppie: I know this is a lot to ask, but could you say a blessing for my new Mercades?
Unitarian Minister: (excited) A new Mercades you say? What kind is it. Is it the CLK 320 Cabriolet?
Yuppie: Why yes it is.
Unitarian Minister: Wow. Convertable of course?
Yuppie: Of course
Unitarian Minister: With the adaptive accelerator and speed-sensitive steering?
Yuppie: YES! YES! Does this mean you'll say a blessing for it?
Unitarian Minister: What is this "blessing" thing you keep talking about?

 

[corplinx]

When my wife and I were planning our wedding, she was tried booking at a wedding chapel that turned out to be unitarian. We booked elsewhere and when she asked why, I simply told her that a unitarian probably goes something like this.

"Oh Lord...... Whoever you are..... We are gathered on this beautiful day showered in your love...... or perhaps cowering from your mighty rath.... or perhaps we simple are here in perfect balance... or something......"

I was willing to have a non-secular wedding but unitarian was off the menu.

 

[Tom Head]

When a (militantly) atheistic couple asked for advice on where to get married, I recommended they look up their local Unitarian Universalist church. Last I checked, they were still members.

I've never been to one, but everything I've heard indicates that UU weddings tend to be (within reason) customized to the needs of the bride and groom--so if you want to invoke Jesus, you get Jesus, if you want to invoke the Goddess, you get the Goddess, and if you want no religion at all, that's okay, too.


Cheers,

 

[Upchurch]

Actually, my fiancee and I are having our ceremony at a Unitarian church. And, for the most part, we could do anything. The minister we talked to has certain themes that he felt was important that he wants make sure are included and was very knowledgable about all the philosophical underpinnings of each part of the ceremony. It was actually quite interesting to learn about.