I have been working on a new conspiracy theory. iAmerican has now confirmed it.
Imagine a secret underground bunker, accessible only through a trapdoor in the basement of the Discovery Institute in Seattle. Imagine a crack team of agents trained therein. Physical warfare, psychological warfare, emotional warfare - these agents are trained to be experts in all of this and more. As graduation nears each receives specialized training in one spectacular area of expertize.
Imagine, then, the graduation ceremony. A classroom of super agents stands ready to spread chaos throughout the civilized world. In their right hand each holds a Bible (KJV, of course). In their left each holds a weapon related to their specialized training - a corn dog, a pendulum, superconducting audio cables, an anal probe, etc.
Not one of these agents, of course, could possibly believe in the bunk they will spew. They don't have to believe any of it. Their mission is simple - to mangle and derail all reasonable discussion. To lengthen forum threads so that the page numbers spread off the right side of the screen and on into infinity.
My friends, they have succeeded.
I will accept no evidence presented against my theory. Nothing else could explain what I have seen on this forum, or in this thread. Not one person - I said nobody - really believes in invisible, shape-shifting, 12-foot primates, or vegetable code. Of this I am certain.
