The stupidest lines you've heard in commercials

[rachaella]

I know there have been threads about the stupidity of TV commercials, but as I enjoyed a rather amusing episode of Frasier this evening I couldn't help but notice this wonderful commercial for Scot's Turf Builder which contained the line:

"Steve doesn't have any crabgrass which makes him a good human being."

The absurdity of this just astounds me.

Edited to add: could this be moved to Banter? I absentmindedly posted it in R&P

 

[Guest]

"Army of one."

 

[Man of jade]

"You think our commercials are cheap, you should see our prices!"

 

[Man of jade]

waaiiiittaminute... This is philosophy?

 

[zakur]

"It's all natural, so you know it's safe."

 

[c4ts]

"Eatin' good in the Neighborhood."

 

[Guest]

waaiiiittaminute... This is philosophy?

I am meditating deeply upon it!

 

[Lord Kenneth]

"It's all natural, so you know it's safe."

So it's ok to eat this funny-speckled mushroom?

 

[c4ts]

So it's ok to eat this funny-speckled mushroom?

Is it green? The green speckled ones will give you extra lives.

 

[Checkmite]

Is it green? The green speckled ones will give you extra lives.

Yeah, but the red-speckled ones make you...ahem, bigger.

 

[c4ts]

Just stay the hell away from the purple ones.

 

[kourama]

"don't hate me because I'm beautiful"

 

[Craig]

"It works!"

 

[Advance]

"Tastes crunchy!"

 

[Checkmite]

"These are real people, not actors..."

 

[Guest]

Anything that Vulcan-haircut-like Welch's juice girl says.

 

[synaesthesia]

"The bible is God's gift...."

 

[Akots]

"...and more importantly, it teaches your children about Jesus!"

(for full effect, include sickly condescending voice and plastic career-smile)

EDIT: I didn't intend this to sound like a continuation of the above post... COINCODENCE!?!?
...
Yep.

 

[kourama]

Almost forgot, the Queen-Mother of stupid commercial lines:

"I'm not a doctor, BUT I play one on T.V."

 

[Blue Monk]

Dude, you're getting a Dell!