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The Great Tenpin Bowling conspiracy

GlennB

Loggerheaded, earth-vexing fustilarian
GlennB
Joined
Sep 8, 2006
Messages
33,181
Location
Wales
I've been a very occasional bowler for about 40 years after a very enthusiastic phase in the 60's. Never learned to hook, average about 140 these days. In the last 2 years I've taken to bowling once a month or so, after an almost total break of about 30 years.
My straight style that sometimes used to hit the #1 pin dead centre and leave a hideous split now hardly ever does. Same goes for my bowling companions. In fact I don't think I've seen a single 7-10 split in all these games.

Has something been changed to make it all easier and more "fun" for the casual bowlers? Are the pins bouncier these days? Is nano-thermite pin varnish involved? I'm sure I can see tiny flashes when the ball hits .....
 
First sumo wrestling...now bowling?

whither conspiracy, or as Walter Sobchak famously said:

"**** it, dude. Let's go bowling"
 
This is clearly related to a conspiracy that deeply affects me. There is a group (I think they call themselves Canadians who don't Live In Toronto) that has conspired to deny the Toronto Maple Leafs a Stanley Cup for over 40 years! They have engaged in false ops (Ballard firing and rehiring Nielson; teasing with number 1 draft picks, hiring the current idiot general manager). They have placed a chemical in the ice that turns opposing goalies into Superman for the game. They have widened the goalposts for opposing teams (I saw this on a documentary in the 1970s that I cannot remember the name of, I think it started with "Acid Trip"). They even cancelled the entire "04/05" season when it became apparent that the Leafs were going to overwhelm everyone that year!

This is clearly the goal of the Bush/Cheney neo-con agenda for Canada. I have film of Bush, Cheney, Rumsefeld, Kove and Anna Nicole Smith (now you know who the real fathers are) dressed in robes and dancing around an empty hockey rink praising a demonic icon of Steve Yzerman of the Detroit Red Wings.

It's true!
 
GlennB said:
Has something been changed to make it all easier and more "fun" for the casual bowlers? Are the pins bouncier these days? Is nano-thermite pin varnish involved? I'm sure I can see tiny flashes when the ball hits .....
Click to expand...

Yes. Technolgy. The pins are plastic now (bounce more), as are the balls (grip the lane more). New lanes are even plastic (stand up to the pounding better) . When you buy a new ball you decide how much hook you want to buy. Then, when you get it drilled the tech can set it up for early, mid, or late break...

But, take my word for it, 7 - 10 splits are definitely still possible...
 
Ten pin bowling? I don't believe it! There is only five pin bowling - the extra five pins are part of the conspiracy.
 
milesalpha said:
This is clearly related to a conspiracy that deeply affects me. There is a group (I think they call themselves Canadians who don't Live In Toronto) that has conspired to deny the Toronto Maple Leafs a Stanley Cup for over 40 years! They have engaged in false ops (Ballard firing and rehiring Nielson; teasing with number 1 draft picks, hiring the current idiot general manager).
Click to expand...

I am no Canadian, but us Finns sent you Aki Berg for many years to play. We are part of the grand conspiracy.
 
Inevitable Outcome

I have investigated this matter thoroughly and I can report that there is, in fact, a conspiracy. The conspirators have been uncovered.

Ahem.

(More sounds of throat-clearing)

It was DA JOOOOS!!!
 
Let me explain what's happening. The pins aren't bouncier; you just have Larry Silverstein ordering someone to "pull pin 7", and that's why it gets knocked down every time.
 
Where oh where is Gravy??

Gravy will tell you that the Dutch in New Amsterdam outlawed the playing of 9 pins on Sunday.

The tenth pin was added, making it a legal game to be played on Sunday.

This did not happen by itself. They Dutch C-O-N-S-P-I-R-E-D to make that 10th pin.
 
hellaeon said:
You need to play cricket. Match fixing is the norm.
Click to expand...
That cannot be true.
When I was in High school, back in the dark ages (CD's weren't even invented, even at banks!), we had an exchange student from Australia. She was speaking at an assembly, saying something about cricket, and when asked what cricket was, responded immediately (looking the pooor soul in the eye)"It is a game played by Gentlemen"
And Gentlemen don't cheat. says so, right there in the U.S. Constitution.
 
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