The Bible proves that Jesus is the DEVIL

[dropzone]

He has mentioned punishments such as causing your meatloaf to burn a little...

Actually, that improved it. Caramelization is generally a good thing.

 

[TeapotCavalry]

So Satan is not the devil?

Good catch. Unless... Satan is the devil, which means Jesus entered Judas

 

[Leumas]

I am invoking Poe's Law.

Thanks a lot Felix..... great point. Poe's Law is perfectly relevant.

“Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is utterly [sic] impossible to parody a Creationist in such a way that someone won’t mistake [it] for the genuine article.”​

I am assuming that people in this forum are at a little higher epistemological level than normal. Based on that assumption I decided not to include a LAUGH TRACK to my attempt at wry comedy.

If some need the laugh track I am sorry.... you do not need me to tell you WHEN TO LAUGH..... if you still do not find it funny.... then please go to where there is a laugh track to PROMPT you when to laugh and clap.... I won't do it for you out of respect.

I am sorry if SOME people just cannot see that creating MORE MYTH as an addition to the ESTABLISHED MYTH is a parody. It is all a MYTH....so symbolic logic, predicate and proof theories, and boolean algebra are not quite applicable when discussing and lampooning the Bible since that would be like trying to prove the Peter Pan Theories On Star Dust.


If an atheist says Jesus is the Devil, then you have to realize that it is satire. An atheist obviously does not believe that there is a Jesus or a Devil. So stating that nothing is another nothing is obviously a spoof.

 

[Leumas]

Good catch. Unless... Satan is the devil, which means Jesus entered Judas

No no.... he had his "Loved" disciple who used to lean on his bosom and it was not Judas. (John 13:23)

But washing the disciples' feet while naked and using his loin towel to dry the feet with, might indicate multiple entries??? (John 13:4-6)

 

[Ron_Tomkins]

So Satan is not the devil?

Oh crap.... So I've been working for the wrong guy all this time along????

 

[Marduk]

I am alluding to the TRINITY.... and since YHWH was all about revenge and racism and hate and killing while Jesus not so much, and given they are the SAME person then they are counter egos.....no? Sort of a Jekyll and Hyde precursor or maybe the Biblical writers were plagiarized Star Wars.

the trinity didn't exist until after 360CE
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Council_of_Nicaea#The_Trinity
Satan had been around for over a thousand years by that point as a mythological character and in turn was based on other mythological characters going back to the bronze age. Jesus is in fact the new addition to the story of good v evil, a story which had been told and retold across numerous cultures for thousands of years

 

[Leumas]

Oh crap.... So I've been working for the wrong guy all this time along????

The mystery of the Quaternary is truly fabulous. Rest assured that Satan and the Father and the Son and the Holy Ghost are all the SAME but DIFFERENT and despite being 4 they are actually one and though you have been serving Satan you were in fact serving Jesus all along. But if you want to be serving Satan then you are also serving Satan through the Father. Four in One and One in Four joined but separate.

Only Satan would think of impregnating his mother to give birth to himself as his own son and still not VANISH IN A PUFF OF LOGIC like the Babel Fish.

 

[Filippo Lippi]

The mystery of the Quaternary is truly fabulous. Rest assured that Satan and the Father and the Son and the Holy Ghost are all the SAME but DIFFERENT and despite being 4 they are actually one and though you have been serving Satan you were in fact serving Jesus all along. But if you want to be serving Satan then you are also serving Satan through the Father. Four in One and One in Four joined but separate.

Only Satan would think of impregnating his mother to give birth to himself as his own son and still not VANISH IN A PUFF OF LOGIC like the Babel Fish.

Do you have any evidence that any of the characters mentioned above actually exist or have ever existed?

 

[Robin]

Thanks a lot Felix..... great point. Poe's Law is perfectly relevant.

“Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is utterly [sic] impossible to parody a Creationist in such a way that someone won’t mistake [it] for the genuine article.”​

Just what, exactly, was it supposed to be parodying?

I am assuming that people in this forum are at a little higher epistemological level than normal. Based on that assumption I decided not to include a LAUGH TRACK to my attempt at wry comedy.

If some need the laugh track I am sorry.... you do not need me to tell you WHEN TO LAUGH.....

No, I laugh when something is funny. It wasn't funny.

I still don't get the joke. If it were even remotely possible to interpret the passage in that way then it might have been funny.

Just saying daft things is not humour or parody.

 

[Agatha]

It was God that vanished in a puff of logic.

 

[Leumas]

It was God that vanished in a puff of logic.

Yes you are right... what I meant is that Satan should vanish in a Puff of logic like God did in the story by Douglas Adams Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy where the guide book describes the Babel Fish..... I mentioned the Babel Fish as the reference.... I should have said: "[...] like in the Babel Fish story."

 

[Leumas]

Just saying daft things is not humour or parody.

Ah...but you are wrong.... I am still laughing at your post...see

 

[Ethnikos]

the trinity didn't exist until after 360CE
*snip*

That was when new terminology was created to explain it and it was codified as official church doctrine to where if you did not accept this specialized version of the Trinity, you would be branded a heretic, excommunicated, and made to be anathema.

 

[I Am The Scum]

Just what, exactly, was it supposed to be parodying?

I think Leumas is a gimmick account. The concept is that he is a creationist-turned-atheist, but he still maintains the same mindset, just applying it to the Bible instead of the theory of evolution. It doesn't really work out, though. It's probably the timing.

 

[Toontown]

Disclaimer: Jehovah and Jesus are not, and never have been in cahoots with Satan. Those who believe so simply do not understand how tricky and deceptive Satan can be.

Yes, Satan did convince God that He had to sacrifice Jesus on the cross before He could justifiably forgive the sinners He created. Yes, Jesus was duped into going along with the 'die for their sins' ruse. Yes, it may superficially appear as if they were all in cahoots in the plan to get Jesus crucified. But it was all one of Satan's tricks. God and Jesus were duped into the whole thing. Yes, Satan got his jollies watching Jesus suffer. But God and Jesus are going to get even with Satan yet. Just you wait and see.

 

[Brattus]

Funny you should specifically mention meatloaf.... I actually had one last night...unburned though....I did lose a sock however only last week..... nooooooo... it is happening.

All hail Satan!

 

[Marduk]

That was when new terminology was created to explain it and it was codified as official church doctrine to where if you did not accept this specialized version of the Trinity, you would be branded a heretic, excommunicated, and made to be anathema.

like how Zeus could appear as himself, himself looking younger, a shower of coins, a lustful swan, the Rain, a Bull, dreams, a spirit,

Bel Marduk could appear as over 50 deities, Vishnu iirc is everything that exists

just the three with YHWH huh,
thats why it needed a special name

All hail Satan!

 

[Darth Rotor]

the trinity didn't exist until after 360CE
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Council_of_Nicaea#The_Trinity
Satan had been around for over a thousand years by that point as a mythological character and in turn was based on other mythological characters going back to the bronze age. Jesus is in fact the new addition to the story of good v evil, a story which had been told and retold across numerous cultures for thousands of years

Another way to say that would be to say that the trinity wasn't recognized until somewhere after 360CE. In a like manner, you could argue that microbes weren't recognized until Antone Leewenhook started staring at them under the microscope, and people accepted his explanation. (Well, he and some contemporaries). That doesn't mean microbes didn't exist until then.

Your assertion is at best an opinion.

The folks who are deadly serious about the Trinity hold it to have been initiated the Gospel of Matthew, (which predates 360 CE somewhat) via the passage along the lines of
'go forth and baptize them in the name of the father, and of the son, and of the holy spirit' (Matt 28:19)
but also hold that the Godhead and the trinity are eternal. They predate the written description, as it were.

You are free to take your disagreement up with them, you will find them at the Vatican most days of the week.

Not interested in derailing for that minor point any further.

 

[Marduk]

lol

 

[tsig]

I think Leumas is a gimmick account. The concept is that he is a creationist-turned-atheist, but he still maintains the same mindset, just applying it to the Bible instead of the theory of evolution. It doesn't really work out, though. It's probably the timing.

Leumas is Samuel spelled backwards.