As the dude who wrote that linked post, I want to briefly jump in to defend myself. This is a totally lame first post, I know, but hopefully it'll be uphill from here.
Also, I didn't mean to imply that the conference was full of "mouth-breathing gomers." There were certainly some there, but there have been folks like that at every large event I've ever attended and most of the small ones. I wasn't even pointing to anyone in specific when I wrote that; it was kind of a general statement about my discomfort with the idea that friendships should be built solely on the basis of a shared epistemological position absent other factors, which was the feeling I got listening to a lot of folks there. Of course, I was socially isolated in a large group of strangers, which put me into a deep chemical funk, and so my feelings are not exactly reliable. It's entirely possible, indeed even plausible, that I was simply filtering a general spirit of camaraderie through a very negative frame of mind.
Sorry if I offended anyone or rubbed anyone the wrong way with that post. It certainly wasn't my intention. I just felt the need, at the time, to come clean and get it off my chest. I wrote it, in hindsight, more to benefit myself than to really say anything to anyone else.
Oh, and Rage Virus: drop me a PM. Maybe, in concert with the other fine folks at the JREF forum, I can help you avoid all the utter lameness I went through last year.
As I said in the post, I don't do well in crowds. Not unless I'm in front of them, preferably with a guitar to act as a sort of social shield/enabler. That's nobody's fault but my own (if it can even be said to be my own fault), but it stands in the way of meaningful social interaction with folks I don't know, especially in large groups, and especially especially when so many of those people seem to already know each other and have a camaraderie going on. I feel like an intruder. Which is probably the wrong thing to feel, but there it is.
Well, that wasn't like a plan going in. Were that my preordained strategy, you could call me whatever insulting names you wanted and be justified. I actually had myself all worked up to meet new people and make new friends. It's just never that easy because I am super lame.
Also, I didn't mean to imply that the conference was full of "mouth-breathing gomers." There were certainly some there, but there have been folks like that at every large event I've ever attended and most of the small ones. I wasn't even pointing to anyone in specific when I wrote that; it was kind of a general statement about my discomfort with the idea that friendships should be built solely on the basis of a shared epistemological position absent other factors, which was the feeling I got listening to a lot of folks there. Of course, I was socially isolated in a large group of strangers, which put me into a deep chemical funk, and so my feelings are not exactly reliable. It's entirely possible, indeed even plausible, that I was simply filtering a general spirit of camaraderie through a very negative frame of mind.
Very true. I definitely know more people this time around, and I definitely will have more fun at TAM8. I'm looking forward to it already.
Sorry if I offended anyone or rubbed anyone the wrong way with that post. It certainly wasn't my intention. I just felt the need, at the time, to come clean and get it off my chest. I wrote it, in hindsight, more to benefit myself than to really say anything to anyone else.
Oh, and Rage Virus: drop me a PM. Maybe, in concert with the other fine folks at the JREF forum, I can help you avoid all the utter lameness I went through last year.
Chris H
Magician Among Spirits
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2008
- Messages
- 846
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Tam
(Apparently they're quite popular among the TAM delegates, so I'm bringing a few packs.
)
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I know how you feel, I'm also not very good in crowds of people who seem to already know each other (and I'm no good up in front of them, either, with or without a guitar); I was at TAM London, and would quite likely have had a similar experience there, if I hadn't already met a few people from the forum at Tim and Lynn's get-togethers. I do also get your point that a shared interest in critical thinking is not enough to guarantee you'll want to spend time with someone. So far I've been lucky, but I do worry that I might meet someone with whom I seem to get on in the forum, and find I can't stand them in real life (or they can't stand me)! Anyway, I'm going to try to make sure I'm in my most outgoing mode for TAM8 (given that I'm British to start with, and fairly reticent by those standards, don't expect a lot!), and I've volunteered to help out with anything that needs doing, which should mean I meet a few more people.
(Apparently they're quite popular among the TAM delegates, so I'm bringing a few packs.
Those look delicious. I look forward to your offering of sumptuous traditional foodstuffs from your exotic, faraway land.
Chris H
Magician Among Spirits
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2008
- Messages
- 846
Will i find myself similarly popular if I bring Penguins, or should I bring Marmite?
There'll be some serious loving coming your way if you manage to get a Marks & Spencers Chocolate Overload to TAM for me...although something tells me that a cream and chocolate mousse dessert is going to make it through the plane journey, let alone the heat of the desert.
HawaiiBigSis
List Management
I'm sure the hotel has air conditioning, so if he can keep it cold throughout the other travel, it'll be fine.There'll be some serious loving coming your way if you manage to get a Marks & Spencers Chocolate Overload to TAM for me...although something tells me that a cream and chocolate mousse dessert is going to make it through the plane journey, let alone the heat of the desert.
Dicon
is not a radish
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2005
- Messages
- 3,142
I completely understand your point about "just because we agree on this one thing does not mean we have everything else in common." I've dealt with that extensively over the years because of my involvement with a particular arts festival. For too many people, the assumption seems to be that just because we both went to it, we obvioulsy like the same music, have the same political beliefs, and are both stage-7 vegans. Bollocks.
I think the important thing to realize is that there's a big difference between friendships and just hanging out and chatting with some people for a weekend. During the course of TAM I'll have conversations with countless people -- ranging from 10 seconds to two hours each -- but that does not mean we're all friends, it just means we had something to chat about. In fact, out of all those people there are only a few that I would really list as friends, and that has been from getting to know them over all the years beginning with TAM 2.
I really cannot think of an easier place to start a conversation with a random stranger than at TAM. Even if it's just "Damn, I had no idea Randi was *that* short!" you'll be golden.
The Central Scrutinizer
Penultimate Amazing
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2001
- Messages
- 53,097
Out of the 8 TAMs I've been to, the only friend I've made is Rebecca, and I hate her.
HawaiiBigSis
List Management
I was so excited when travelocity informed me of a great round-trip airfare.
Unfortunately, it's not available for the time period that includes TAM.
Unfortunately, it's not available for the time period that includes TAM.
hcmom
Penultimate Amazing
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2006
- Messages
- 10,415
I was so excited when travelocity informed me of a great round-trip airfare.
Unfortunately, it's not available for the time period that includes TAM.
Gah!! Are you coming to TAM anyway? Do you need to share a room?
Chicken Pot Pie
Bawkbagawk Bawkbagone!
HBS, if you can make it, would you like to be in my talent show bit if we make the cut? If so, I will PM you the idea and needs, though it's just a costume and ringing one bell when I point to you!
I'd assume that keeping it uneaten throughout the travel would be the bigger problem.
SkepticScott
TAM Volunteer Guy
Yes, they are, IMHO, although I usually don't get the full value of what I paid for since I often miss bits. I often have to step out briefly to help or check that there are no problems. There aren't any other "official" TAM activities going on during the workshops, but I'm sure there will be a few extracurricular activities going on. Besides the Forum we will have a whiteboard by the TAM registration desk (we had one last year, and I can't see us not having it). People coordinated their events and wrote funny comments on it.
The P&T show is great, and we have a block of seats, so if you buy your (discounted) ticket through JREF you'll be surrounded by skeptics. If you don't want to take the bus, a taxi costs about $20+tip. Split four ways and it's just a little more than the bus.
Please check out the Forum table that KittyNH and others run just for people like you -- people attending their first TAM. Most of the people at TAM met first through the Forum. If you're going to be at TAM early, there will probably be someone trying to organize something and posting to a thread here. That would let you meet a smaller group and get to know them before going into the sea of skeptics at TAM. Or you could find something you want to do outside of TAM and start a thread yourself. Suddenly you're the organizer and people will be seeking you out.
Wowbagger
The Infinitely Prolonged
