I agree that there may not be any help for this, but rather than accept it, I am exploring the possibility that different approaches may be effective. Even though ridicule may not be comfortable, some people claim that it has been effective when politeness gave a false sense of legitimacy.
I'm sorry. My comment about naivety was really meant as a self-deprecating poke at myself.
I may feel better when I am polite, but I have to wonder whether it is a cop-out, an excuse for me to avoid persistently challenging someone because it makes me unpleasant. Do I really want to change minds or do I just want people to like me?
Linda
Please do not apologize for anything!

I did take the naive comment as being directed at my proposal of politeness, but I took no offense whatsoever. Sometimes I feel very naive about it all.
I do not veiw politeness as a copout. I think that people should definitely be challenged on their eroneous (IMO) beliefs, but that it should be done in civil fashion. I just do not see it as a choice between being polite & letting things slide.
I try to 'challenge' people with evidence & logic, and 'challenge' them to refute me in the same way if possible. I don't think that legitimizes their views, only their right to express and discuss those views.
If I am able to clearly refute them with evidence and logic in a way that does not alienate them, I feel that makes a much better & more obvious statement then merely shouting them down. Not just to bystanders, but also to the person as well.
If I can't do that civily, I take that as a sign I need to back off a bit until I have sharpened my game up on the subject at hand. It tells me I am going to much on faith in something for my own opinion, and need to do some reading.
I guess a big part the reason I always felt bad about getting masty or personal with someone is that I felt it was a failure on my part as a skeptic & critical thinker. I felt like my behavior stemmed out of frustration. Frustration either with my inability to properly form an argument, or from unrealistic expectations about controling what people said & thought in an internet forum.
Also, I am a naturally nice and loveable type.
Regards, Canis
P.S. I do tend to get tired of talking to the more tenacious "brick wall" types fairly quickly. That is when I usually bow out. I have accepted that they will go on saying what they are saying indefinately, and I can't stop them. So I bow out, or copout if you will and let them have the field. The only way I have seen these guys stopped by aggressive personal comments is when they are baited into crossing the line by more experienced insulters and getting themselves banned. While that particular tactic can be effective, I don’t think I would feel intellectually honest if I did that intentionally myself.