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Spiritual Safety Tip for Kids

Upchurch

Papa Funkosophy
Upchurch
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Spiritual Safety Tip for Kids
Spiritual Safety Tip
What should you do if you find an atheist?

[Humorous graphic]

Atheists such as crotchety old Mr. Gruff think they've got it all figured out...

...but then why are they always so sad?

If you find an atheist in your neighborhood,
TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY!

You may be moved to try and witness to these poor lost souls yourself, however
AVOID TALKING TO THEM!
Atheists are often very grumpy and bitter and will lash out at children or they may even try to trick you into neglecting God's Word.

Very advanced witnessing techniques are needed for these grouches. Let the adults handle them.
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I don't know whether to be shocked or LOL. I think this is why billiefan2000 thinks all atheists are sad, because Mr. Gruff is...

Also, make sure to avoid talking to atheists. They might cause you to think! :eek: :D

There are some other gems on the page, but this one stood out.
 
The whole thing is so silly I have to wonder if it's a parody. If it isn't a parody I think I understand why so many fundies seem so willfully ignorant, it's because they are trained from childhood to be that way.

I especially liked the "Ask Professor Girrafenstein" part wher it claims that dinosaurs are still around . That, more than anything else, shows what kind of minds we are dealing with
 
Nyarlathotep said:
The whole thing is so silly I have to wonder if it's a parody. If it isn't a parody I think I understand why so many fundies seem so willfully ignorant, it's because they are trained from childhood to be that way.

I especially liked the "Ask Professor Girrafenstein" part wher it claims that dinosaurs are stilla round . That, more than anything else, shows what kind of minds we are dealing with
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I think it's very sad that dinosaurs are not around any more, don't you? Hence the source of confusion: there is a correlation between atheism and sadness, connected to knowing the reality about dinosaur extinctiveness, which the fundies have confused for a causal relationship.
 
Nyarlathotep said:
The whole thing is so silly I have to wonder if it's a parody.
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The site is a parody - thank god!(ha, good one on me ;))

But the scary thing is that sometimes it's really hard to tell.

Who the hell said that the internet would open up a whole new world of knowledge?? Looks like the reality is unlimited woo woo sites and porn.

Barkhorn.
 
hgc said:

I think it's very sad that dinosaurs are not around any more, don't you? Hence the source of confusion: there is a correlation between atheism and sadness, connected to knowing the reality about dinosaur extinctiveness, which the fundies have confused for a causal relationship.
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Though I would love to be able to see a real live dinosaur, what really makes me sad is that somewhere ther is a child reading tripe like like that and beleiving it. It makes me even more sad that this child might grow into an adult who STILL believes in such swill and tries to force schools to teach it.

If I am, as an atheist, sad, this is why.
 
Barkhorn1x said:


The site is a parody - thank god!(ha, good one on me ;))
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And me. The 4Kids section was a little too far over the top. Made me start to wonder, but I didn't press it enough.

Still, really good for a laugh.
 
All of the jesussave.us domain is parody. Don't be fooled again.
 
QUICK CHILDREN, HELP LAMBUEL AVOID THE SIN OF ICE CREAM!
 
"Any sufficiently advanced parody is indistinguishable from a genuine kook."
-- Alan Morgan (talk.origins)
 
hgc said:
All of the jesussave.us domain is parody. Don't be fooled again.
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It may well be parody, but the fact that I have heard so many fundies make such ridiculous claims that it is hard to tell parody from reality says something in itself.

As the cliche goes "It's funny because it's true"
 
Nyarlathotep said:
It may well be parody, but the fact that I have heard so many fundies make such ridiculous claims that it is hard to tell parody from reality says something in itself.

As the cliche goes "It's funny because it's true"
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I wonder if Bartlett's has started including Homer Simpson. I'll investigate.

Yes indeed, some beliefs are practically parody-proof. That makes this stuff extra good. It really is funny as parody, and it's also close enough to real to make you wonder.
 
I really enjoyed:

Cult Alert:
(March 28, 2003) Dr. Troy Franklin, OBJECTIVE occult expert, has brought to our attention a disturbing new danger to weak-spirited Christians and unsaved persons that we feel needs to be reported.

As he tells it, while out at a local supermarket shopping for food for his cat, Dr. Franklin noticed one of those small tents advertising "Free Rock Chip Repair" that have been springing up in our nation's parking lots. Curious, he went to enquire about getting a ding in his windshield sealed, only to learn that the person manning the tent had other intentions, namely to try and recruit Dr. Franklin into a cult!

Fortunately, the good doctor has become quite immune to cultic recruiting ploys from his years studying their tactics, and thus he was able to extricate himself from the situation with his soul unharmed. However, those less skilled in their Faith -- and especially those of false faiths or no faith at all -- would have soon found themselves back at the cult headquarters doing all manner of unspeakable rites and blasphemies... or maybe even brainwashed into manning a tent of their own.

For the safety of your soul, do not be tempted by the lure of impulse rock chip repair from strangers in parking lots. It may say free, but it could cost you your soul! If you need your windshield fixed, go to a qualified Christian repair shop.
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It´s unbelievable.

Obviously it is a site of parody,one where those strict in fanciful ideas might actually be better directed to,considering that this site ridicules them with their own tools (of course you cannot always tell the difference)

The creationist section is quite amusing.
I did not know dinosaurs were herbivorous,I have not heard this being claimed yet (in reality,most were but...) but this would explain "the fact" that they lived a few thousand years ago,in peace with man...
 
It totally freaked me out. I'm naked and shivering on my bathroom floor. Pray for me.
 
Landover Baptist is definately a parody site. Been around for a while. Good for a laugh. Unfortunately, the woo woo's believe it's a real site. So much for Billiefan2000's assumtions that atheists are sad.
 
This is the third thread this parody has generated and there's still questions about whether it's an an over the top satire or not?

I thought we were skeptics here?

Oh wait, I forgot the cardinal rule regarding the Christers - if it's over the top, it must be sincere (see billiefan quintessential Christian).

:rolleyes:
 
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