South Park rips into Mormons

Nyarlathotep correct me if I'm wrong:

After Jesus' resurrection, Jesus took the redeye to SOUTH (not North) America where he met a tribe from the 10 lost tribes. The same 10 lost tribes that were assimilated by the Assyrians in ~700 BC!
 
arcticpenguin said:
Did they mention anything about Smith's phony Egyptian heiroglyphics? I would think having your primary prophet caught in an out and out fraud might put a damper on a religion.
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Why should YOU care, Mr. I Dont Watch TV I Just Sit Around All Day Eating Herring?
 
Hexxenhammer said:
Yeah, old Joe escaped from a couple of hangings I think and died in a jailbreak attempt if I remember right.
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Incorrect, if what I read can be taken as accurate.

There was a lot of trouble for the early church, and Joe was nearly executed for treason, of which he was honestly innocent. It was the mormons who were victems of a massacre early on, forcing them to flee to another state, Illinois I think. They did ok there for a while, but eventually trouble with the neighbors flared up again. It came to a head when some people split from the church and published their own paper criticising Smith. Smith had the people's printing press destroyed. His actions sparked outrage with non-mormons, leading to more problems.

(according to Under Heaven's Banner) Smith was in the middle of escaping into the west when he got word that if he didn't surrender himself to authorities it would be taken out on his people. If the story is accurate he knew he would most likely be killed if he went back, but did so anyway, partially with the request of his (first) wife. Rather noble of him if true.

It was a setup. Sitting in the jail house some other mormons smuggled in guns to him. A mob arrived and attacked the house to kill him. The people who were supposed to be guarding the building had blanks in their muskets, they fired and then got out of the way. The mob killed him and shot the people that were with him, though two of them lived.

Ok, all of this might not be true, but I found the author to have presented a rather neutral view of the mormons. He presented events that show them as both victems and agressors. That lends a bit to the credibility to me
 
triadboy said:
Nyarlathotep correct me if I'm wrong:

After Jesus' resurrection, Jesus took the redeye to SOUTH (not North) America where he met a tribe from the 10 lost tribes. The same 10 lost tribes that were assimilated by the Assyrians in ~700 BC!
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Even when I was in the church, I never could get a straight answer as to where exactly all these cities that were dotting America at the time of Christ were supposed to be. There seemed to be a belief that all of your old Aztec/Mayan/Incan/etc. cities were proof of the Book of Mormon, thus making South and Central America the site of much of the book, but it was common beliefe rather than official doctrine. I was pretty much told to have faith and not ask so many questions.

It wasn't the '10 Lost tribes' though. The book of Mormon postulates a migration by some followers of a man called Nephi (maybe it was Lehi, it has been a long time and I always confused them anyway). But it wasn't the Lost tribes.

It doesn't make it any less silly though. I could write a book on the silly inconsistancies of the Book of Mormon. I am sure, though, someone, somewhere has beaten me to it.
 
Favorite south park skit:

Do The Handicapped Go To Hell? Pt. 2

(Long Pan to Hell. The entrance. All the world's recently departed are standing around the entrance to hell. Marcie's Dad appears out of thin air.)

Marcie's Dad: Where...where am I?!

New Hellion #1: WHERE ARE WE?!

New Hellion #2: Oh, my God! I've gone to Hell!

New Hellion #3: (Italian Woman) WAZZAPANING?!

New Hellion #4: AAAAAH!

Hell Director: (on a stage near the entrance. on a microphone.) Hello, new-commers! Welcome! Can everybody hear me?! Hello! (taps his mic.) Can everybo...okay! Uh, I'm the Hell Director! Uh, It looks like we have about eight-thousand, six-hundred, and fifteen of you newbees today, and for those of you who were a little confused, uh, you ARE dead and this is Hell! So, abandon all hope and, uh, yadayadayada! Uh, we're now going to start the orientation process which will last about...

New Hellion #5: Hey, wait a minute! I shouldn't be here! I was a totally strict and devout Protestant! I thought we went to Heaven!

Hell Director: Yes, well, I'm afraid you were wrong!

New Hellion #6: I was a practicing Jehova's Witness!

Hell Director: Uh, you picked the wrong religion as well!

New Hellion #7: Well, who was right?! Who gets into Heaven?!

Hell Director: I'm afraid it was the Mormons! Yes! The Mormons were the correct answer!

New Hellions: AWW!

Hell Director: So now, I'd like to quickly introduce your new ruler and master for eternity, Satan!
 
I live about five miles from Hill Cumorah and the Joseph Smith house (the holy land?) and have seen the pageant several times (usually in an altered state). It is quite the show. As you walk across NYS Route 21 to the seating area, JWs and 7th Day wackos hand out pamplets and try to save your soul (some used to be more vocal but those hilarious days are over). The show uses cool lights and lasers with a killer PA and hundreds of lip synching actors in outrageous costumes.

Joseph Smith had several brushes with the law around here, I believe for fraud (imagine that!) related to his use of the stones.

Several years ago I heard that the LDS wanted to 'archive' all the old court records for Ontario County, which of course would give them all the charges and court transcripts for old Joe. You don't think they (LSD ....er...LDS) would have conveniently lost those records had they been handed over. do ya'?

Anyways, South Park was gut wrenchingly funny and they even did a fairly accurate job of depicting Palmyra.
 
Mo and Joe

Joseph Smith has been called the American Mohammed. I used to say that he wouldn't make a pimple on Mohammed's I hope you don't mind my language, but now I think the parallel has some merit, even though their careers took opposite shapes in some ways.

Mohammed appears to have started out genuinely deluded, but continued on his course cynically and opportunistically as his cult grew, and his power and wealth with it. Joseph Smith started out a con man pure and simple, and seems to have begun to think, "Wull by gum, mebbe thar's somethin' in it! Mebbe I done been in-spired and this's whut it feels like!" Other bunko artists have fallen into that way of thinking; it must bolster their already big egos no end.

Sir Richard Burton, who visited Salt Lake City in Brigham Young's time, was of the opinion that nobody, certainly not Smith, could have established a church and kept it going through so much without some measure of sincerity.

I'm inclined to think that neither Mohammed nor Joseph Smith had much choice: Once you're astride the tiger, it's pretty chancey trying to get off.

Take note that Mo and Joe both promised the faithful a lot of randy fun, Mo in Paradise and Joe right here! right now! And those first Mormons were an uncommonly rabbity bunch: not just multiple wives for the men, but multiple husbands for the ladies, in other words, a lot of polymorphous hanky-panky in general.

You get the impression that J. Smith had both charisma and charm: he was fun! When cornered in debate by learned theologians, he would whip off his coat and cry, "Welp! I don't know much 'bout that, but I reckon I kin pin any of you gentlemen two outer three falls!" And sometimes the learned gents would whip off their coats and try grappling with the Prophet - just for the high-spirited fun of it. (They usually got pinned, because Smith was a hefty bruiser and accustomed to rough and tumble, handy capabilities for a con man.) The faithful loved it, and loved him.

Right there is probably the explanation for the success of Mormonism: the con artist captures the affection of the gulls, and they stand by him selflessly because they enjoy it. I suspect that Mohammed, for all his craziness, had the same qualities of making his cult fun to follow.

Perhaps we put too much emphasis on the neediness of the believers. Hell's afire, everybody likes to have fun!
 
Did you miss this episode and want to see it? Trust me it´s hilarious, I was laughing out loud.

Well, I suppose I can´t post a direct link, just a cryptic clue:

Google. "digital distractions torrents"
 
I never knew too much about the religion but I have studied it recently. You don't actually go to heaven but instead get to rule over your own planet of horny women. Wow! I can see the appeal in this to men. You are technically the equivalent of Jesus on your own planet.

Its just as far fetched as any other religion.
 
SteveW said:
I never knew too much about the religion but I have studied it recently. You don't actually go to heaven but instead get to rule over your own planet of horny women. Wow! I can see the appeal in this to men. You are technically the equivalent of Jesus on your own planet.

Its just as far fetched as any other religion.
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You do go to heaven, except it's not the final destination and it's called Spirit Paradise. As for "your own planet of horny women," I imagine anybody with that goal in mind isn't going to get far enough along to create their own world. Also, that bit of doctrine is very brief and vague, and very few Mormons actually know about it. So attributing that to its popularity among males is baloney. You wouldn't be the equivelent of Jesus either. Mormons recognize Jesus as the literal son of God, and not a physical incarnation. Ergo, you would be God on your own planet--not Jesus. Your recent studying wasn't very comprehensive, I take it.
 
Jude said:

Also, that bit of doctrine is very brief and vague, and very few Mormons actually know about it.
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Every Mormon I've talked to knew about it. I believe they rule this planet with their earth wives.
 
komencanto said:
Did you miss this episode and want to see it? Trust me it´s hilarious, I was laughing out loud.

Well, I suppose I can´t post a direct link, just a cryptic clue:

Google. "digital distractions torrents"
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From the South Park Studios website FAQ: http://www.southparkstudios.com/show/faqview.html?id=13232

August 4, 2003

Q: I was surprised that in the last FAQ you recommended downloading episodes on KaZaa and other file sharers. What are Matt and Trey's official stances on South Park episode piracy?

A: Matt and Trey do not mind when fans download their episodes off the Internet; they feel that it’s good when people watch the show no matter how they do it.
 
A_Feeble_Mind said:


Too true. I accidentally made the mistake of applying logic and reason to religion again. ;)
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Does logic & reason work well for you keeping your life & the lives of those around you happier rather than sadder?

If you're married, ask your spouse. :D
 
SteveW said:
I never knew too much about the religion but I have studied it recently. You don't actually go to heaven but instead get to rule over your own planet of horny women. Wow! I can see the appeal in this to men. You are technically the equivalent of Jesus on your own planet.

Its just as far fetched as any other religion.
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I dont think that's Mormonism, that sounds strangely similar to Scientology though...
 
Flaherty said:
But they also have the Mormon characters admit that they story probably isn't true but they don't care because their religion works for them and makes them happy.
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When I saw they I thought about their take on mormons when they did "Orgazmo." Very funny.
 
Jude said:


You do go to heaven, except it's not the final destination and it's called Spirit Paradise. As for "your own planet of horny women," I imagine anybody with that goal in mind isn't going to get far enough along to create their own world. Also, that bit of doctrine is very brief and vague, and very few Mormons actually know about it. So attributing that to its popularity among males is baloney. You wouldn't be the equivelent of Jesus either. Mormons recognize Jesus as the literal son of God, and not a physical incarnation. Ergo, you would be God on your own planet--not Jesus. Your recent studying wasn't very comprehensive, I take it.
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And I see your recent study of sarcasm hasnt been too comprehensive either.
 
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