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Sexual education

TragicMonkey said:
People are surprisingly uptight about masturbation. Remember Jocelyn Elders?
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The simian is correct. In the eyes of the ignorant, masturbation is the gateway drug to sex. Additionally, I am fairly certain that women have it even worse in that department - most healthy young boys start paddling the pickle by the time they're 13, and the general feeling seems to be that it's embarassing but necessary. Girls are basically taught they have a hole for a penis to fit into and every month it tries to ruin your favorite white skirt, and it's left up to them to eventually go spelunking solo to figure out there's a bit more to it. How many 18-year old guys ever called Loveline asking, "I think I may have had an orgasm, but I'm not sure, so did I?" By the time a guy is that age, he knows more about the topography of his own penis than any other subject he is taught, while the average girl is wondering what all the fuss is about down there.

If I ever have a daughter, she's getting a "personal massager" on her 15th birthday and the collected works of Savage Love.
 
rebecca said:
By the time a guy is that age, he knows more about the topography of his own penis than any other subject he is taught
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Be that as it may, unfortunately most men don't even discover multiple orgasms by the end of their active sexual life.
 
Freethinker said:
Growing up on a farm is the best way to learn. (...)
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Wow, I definitely thought you were going to say something else when I started reading your post.

Dave1001 said:
Sorry kids we can teach about sex but not sexuality. You'll have to fumble around and discover these things yourself. By the time you are good at it you won't have this beautiful young body anymore. One of life's cruel jokes.
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Say what? Have you heard of the internet? :)

I can only say that my 5-year-old daughter will definitely be a nun.
 
rebecca said:
there.

If I ever have a daughter, she's getting a "personal massager" on her 15th birthday and the collected works of Savage Love.
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Ah. An enlightened would-be parent.

I predict that she will bring home a boyfriend at twelve and ask if you have any condoms. You will bicycle, screaming, to a psychologist.
 
Soapy Sam said:
Ah. An enlightened would-be parent.

I predict that she will bring home a boyfriend at twelve and ask if you have any condoms. You will bicycle, screaming, to a psychologist.
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And I predict you're wrong. Thank god that we won't be finding out which one of us is correct for a very long time.
 
Soapy Sam said:
Ah. An enlightened would-be parent.

I predict that she will bring home a boyfriend at twelve and ask if you have any condoms. You will bicycle, screaming, to a psychologist.
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My daughter is twelve and she doesn't want a boyfriend, and I think Rebecca's got a damn fine idea.

I think I'll let her mother present the items in question, though. If I did it would be a little weird.

Or maybe I'll talk Rebecca into bringing them as the "Masturbation Fairy" :)
 
I'm getting some really fantastic visuals for "The Masturbation Fairy"

Obviously she would have to be like a santa for older people with lubes of every variety and vibrators galor!
 
Recommended reading - "Everything you NEVER wanted your kids to know about SEX (but were afraid they'd ask)" by Richardson and Schuster. Has me laughing out loud and is addressing all sorts of concerns. If you're very conservative or an authoritarian parent, I don't think you'll like it. But in 113 pages I've learned a bunch of good things.
 
I read an article in the Wall Street Journal that stated that youths often overestimate the chances of getting pregnant / catching diseases but they underestimate the consequences.
"Oh, how bad can herpes really be?"
If I remember correctly the article mentioned "emotionally packed" videos that portray the consequences of sex very negativly (let's face it, the consequences of sex can be devestating and I personally believe that we should not be encouraging kids to have sex. most just aren't mature enough to handle the consequences and most parents aren't willing to deal with the consequences.) Since kids work more on emotion than logic, the videos resonated with them more than just facts.
I believe that education and a good relationship with your parents is the best way to keep yourself sexually healthy. :)
 
I think what that means is that if you have a good relationship with your parents then you will know the difference between having sex and having a relationship.
 
rjh01 said:
I think what that means is that if you have a good relationship with your parents then you will know the difference between having sex and having a relationship.
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Heh, I was hearing a hint of banjo music in that comment also. :)

What if the child has a good relationship with a parent that has nothing but bad relationships?
 
Piscivore said:
Heh, I was hearing a hint of banjo music in that comment also. :)
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"Not playing to win is like sleeping with your sister. Sure, she's a great piece of tail with a blouseful of goodies, but it's just illegal. And then you get into that whole 'inbred' thing, with kids who have to eat through a straw and play the banjo." - Topper Harley, Hot Shots
 
rjh01 said:
I think what that means is that if you have a good relationship with your parents then you will know the difference between having sex and having a relationship.
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Unless your parents don't know the difference between those either.
 
Many kids are sexually aware, but not sexually intelligent. A big, big difference, and one which I became fully aware of when I had to teach year 7's (about 11 - 12 years old) sex ed. in the UK.

Kids all had their stories and their questions, and most of them knew the words and the culture surrounding sex. But very, very few knew much about the issues or ethos around it. The reason? They learned it from one another and not their parents or families. A pool of mythology from which they all drink is the only means of education many kids have.

I still get shocked by sexually active girls in years 10 and 11 asking if you can fall pregnant after swallowing semen. Experimentation and urban mythology is all they have when families cease communicating and there is no sex education to take its place.

Nothing can replace frank and open discussion between parents and their kids. Sex education in a formal environment is better than nothing, however, which is what a lot of kids have.

Athon
 
Do you think it is enough to thoroughly instill the actual facts, or must some (arbitrary) beavioural code be taught alongside?

Let's face it, "This feels incredibly nice, but don't do it because it's a bad thing", does not appear to be an effective argument.
"This feels good, but your balls will turn black and fall off and you will go to jail / hell" might at least discourage the timorous.

Is the point of the exercise to inform about sex or to discourage youngsters from doing it? So long as we are ambiguous about that , I think we will have half way results.
 
I suspect it'll be like physics Sam. When they're 6 years old, explaining that gravity makes things fall down is already plenty, then at 12 years old, Newtonian physics is sufficient to explain what's happening, and how orbits work. When they reach 16, it's time to break out Einstein.

Similarly, I think younger kids need to know where babies come from, that sex leads to babies, that unprotected sex leads to horrible diseases that'll make your balls turn black and fall off, etc...
Then when they become a bit older, you can add a bit more nuance, unveil a bit more of the things they didn't need to know yet.
 
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