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Rewrite the 10 commandments

1. As long as they aren't hurting anyone, themselves included, LEAVE THEM ALONE!!!! (hurting includes physically, emotionally, financially...)

Gee, that was easy. :D
 
Yaotl said:
So what are the consequences? Are they the usual no longer in god's presence, eternal damnation, etc. thing?
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Any infraction of my commandments would result in being banned from viewing Skepchick Mud Wrestling Competitions for a length of time commensurate with the severity of the infraction.
 
Modern Man, Thou Shalt...

1. Thou shalt always strive to be the best person you can be
2. Thou shalt always strive to learn more and understand more.
3. Thou shalt always separate the person and the ego from the issue and debate ISSUES alone.
4. Thou shalt always act in the best interests of society, even when it results in some inconvenience to yourself.
5. Thou shalt always be honest.
6. Thou shalt provide CONSTRUCTIVE criticism where it is needed, necessary, AND productive. (If it won't do any good, don't bother. Save your breath.)
7. Thou shalt always behave in the most mature manner possible.
8. Thou shalt always ground-truth assumptions before assuming they are true.
9. Thou shalt always realize there are three realities - what you believe is true, what the other believes is true, and what is actually true - and only one of these is actually true. (In other words, you are not always right)
10. Thou shalt always strive to be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

That's my recipe for modern man. As you can see, I think "Thou shalts" are more useful than "Thou shalt nots".

A number of these "commandments" simply re-inforce one another, but I felt it worthwhile to spell them out.
 
well it depends on context.

Today I would probably produce something along the lines of:

1.Thou shalt not kill
2.Thou shalt not kill
3.Thou shalt not kill
4.Thou shalt not kill
5.Thou shalt not kill
6.Thou shalt not kill
7.Thou shalt not kill
8.Thou shalt not kill
9.Thou shalt not kill
10.Thou shalt not kill
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Working on the basis there is a faint posibility a few people might take the hint

If I was dealing with an acicent tribe of some sort it would probably go as follows

1.You will accpet I am the only god
2. You will not kill fellow belivers in me
3. You shall have as many children as posible
4. thous shalt strive to convert the unbeliver
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that lot should give my relgion a chance in the whole servival of the fitest thing.
5. thou shalt keep the toilet a long way away from the water supply
6. Cook food well before eating
7. keep cuts and burns clean.
8.avoid getting bitten by mosquitoes
9. the rat is evil in my eyes and must be destoryed
10. obey the above or else.....
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Ethical sysytems are ten a penny. A few basic healthcarte tips are a lot more handy.
 
I. Be nice to each other.
II. Thou shalt build musical instruments, for their sound is pleasing to my ears.

um...

that's it.

--Terry (not being terribly serious)
 
1. There ain't no god. Get over me.
2. When in public, pay attention. You can scratch yourself when you get home.
3. If you really love her, say it. Make sure you're not related first.
4. Will the owner of the Ford Explorer, license plate DVL666, please move your vehicle. You are blocking the fire exit.
5. All disputes are to be resolved by dueling banjos. Winner shall be chosen by Simon Cowell. Winner may then stone Mr. Cowell.
6. Do not overcook the fish. Analogously, no global warming.
7. If you really want plastic in your women, just buy a damn doll.
8. Monday is a day like any other. It's not "manic". It's not "blue" or "stormy". You gotta relax.
9. Metric System.
10. Someone in pain is not an opportunity for exploitation. Jeez, have you no conscience?
 
Marquis de Carabas

2) Refrain from needless killing. If you have to ask if it's needed, it's not.

roger

1. Don't kill, except in self defense

sorgoth

1. Thou shalt not kill another human except in self defense.

rightbrain

I. Thou shalt not kill unless thou hast no other choice..
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I think y'all are vastly underestimating the ability of humans to rationalize anything. GWB is convinced that everything he has done in Iraq was self-defense and that he had absolutely no choice in the matter. Hutus and Tutsis are absolutely convinced that all their killing is self-defense because they have no other choice.


I don't think that one can some up morality this simply when dealing with the average person. One has to start with definitions. I'm talking about definitions as basic as what is a person. E.g. All people are human - there are no sub-humans; people's beliefs, skin color, heritage, sex, sexual orientation, etc., etc., etc. do not exclude anyone from having all the rights that you are prepared to give yourself.
 
1. Thou shalt not urinate in public, unless its reguired.
2. Treat others as they treat you, remember to do it first.
3. Thou shalt not bug me.
4. There are no gods, but my remote control comes close.
5. Sylvia browne may be freely rediculed.
6. Thou shall honor the game of football(soccer)
7. You may not disturb me while I sleep, unless you are a woman and naked.
8. Thou shall stop pestering me about my eating and drinking habits.
9. Thou shall never perform any households duties, lest there not be a woman present.
10. Thou shall not reply to threads when you are slightly hungover.
 
I'd cut the commandments to six...modern humans have a short attention span.


1* thou shall have no Gods, or if thou must, keep it to thou self

2* if you commit adultery...keep schtum about it

3* be sure to put some change in those plastic guide dogs when you go to the supermarket

4* try to spend at least two hours a day away from the computer

5* um...rent this space!

6* dont believe everything you read...especially when it's cast in stone
 
1. Play nice
2. Different is OK
3. Take responsibility for your actions
4. Impact is not a verb
5. Cricket IS that important, that's why the HQ is at Lord's
6. Turn off your frikkin foglight
7. Yes, she is right......always......regardless of the "facts"
8. Regard cats as my representatives on Earth
9. Leave the seat UP
10. Don't spill beer
 
1.- Kill everyone in your neighbourhood
2.- Kill everyone else
3.- Kill yourself

After that, everyone silly enough to blindly follow whatever commandments a silly god issues, will be removed and, hopefully, only the sensible will remain. If no one remains, that's even better :D

(Don't try this at home).
 
Keneke said:
My Ten commandments would pretty much follow the Constitution and its amendments. Except there'd be XXVII of them.
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So you would take the time to delegate the power to the states, specify direct election of senators and cancel your own 18th commandment?


My list:

1. The suffering of innocents is the greatest of evils. See it you do not cause it. See that you work to prevent it. All goals can be achieved in a way that causes less suffering. (You think you are being clever by asking about masochists. You are not.) The suffering of your enemy is unnecessary. Achieve what needs to be done with a minimum of harm to others. If your goal is simply to harm another, you are in the wrong.


2. Give thanks for that which makes you happy or makes your life better.

3. I have not spoken unto you nor any mortal, nor have I specified, that any way of life is superior to any other save that which follows these commandments and results in the happiness of yourself and others.

4. Don't kill anyone unless they are trying to kill you or someone else. Doing so might cause others to think you are less than innocent and that Commandment #1 doesn't refer to you.

5. Don't take what doesn't belong to you. Doing so might cause others to think you are less than innocent and that Commandment #1 doesn't refer to you. This goes double if you take by force.

6. No lying. Your word is your most valuable asset.

7. Understand why another has taken the action they have before condemning them.

8. Not everything is somebody's fault.

9. I do not condemn actions that do not harm others. Follow in my footsteps.

10. I am Almighty God, Ruler of the Universe, He who Created all with but a thought; you are mortal. You cannot hurt me, not with sticks or stones or bombs or words or disbelief. Not even all of you together. No matter how many of you there are. Do not fear for me nor try to protect me; if I cannot protect myself from something, there is nothing you could possibly do to help me. Deal with your own affairs, and leave mine to me. I do not need your assistance. You cannot do my work.



Also, I smell bacon.
 
Screw it. If I was God, I'd go down and supervise personally.
The commandments can go to Hell (Bada-bing!).

I'll make sure things go right. Then un-God myself for a while so I can avoid disappearing in a puff of logic.
 
Somewhere, I'd throw in:

- priests, ministers, and clergyfolks do not know anymore than you do; if any of them make up rules about sex or alcohol, then laugh in their faces and tell them to go get a real job.
 
Bugger. I forgot the most important commandmenet...

9. Thous shalt not leave thy seat and move about whilst the puck is in play.

Violators of this commandment will burn eternally.
 
3 is all you need.

You really need only need 3
1, The Commandment of Honesty: Be honest with the natural world. With this commandment the creationists are intrinsically evil people.
2, The Commandment of Universal Comfort: Maximize pleasure and minimize pain.
3, The Commandment of Beauty: That speaks for itself.

:crc:
 
Marquis de Carabas said:
Bugger. I forgot the most important commandmenet...

9. Thous shalt not leave thy seat and move about whilst the puck is in play.

Violators of this commandment will burn eternally.
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Does that apply to oneself or strictly to others?
You know - moving about tends to make you occupied with not spilling beer or likewise - thereby causing you not to see when the favourite team scores. Or is it the people who for some reason can´t find their seat, or only buy one beer at a time, so they have to go several times, hereby blocking the view of everybody else.

It has been a commandment for me for several years, after missing 3 goals in a 4-0 win, while waiting in line to take a leak.
Amendment to commandment 9. Empty one beer container before the match - so you have one ready to pi.. in when its needed.
 
This is easy. If I was God I would use the following commandments / do the following :

1) You must worship I, the Lord and no one else. Surround idols of me with nice things, offer up incense. Fan me with feathers. Offer alcohol to me freely.

2) I would make animal cruelty a sin. Eating meat and other animal products would be forbidden. Animals are valuable. Cutting down trees and harming nature would also be forbidden except when absolutely essential.

3) Eliminate disease and reserve it as punishment for those who disobey me and hence deserve it.

4) Eliminate sexism, men and women have equal rights and power. I would make everyone the same colour and in doing so eliminate racism.

5) Gambling, alcohol, creative sexual practices, multiple marriage and occult practice will no longer be considered sinful. They'll be harmless. Destroy sexual immorality replace with sexual immortality.

6) Do not harm or insult your fellow beings.

7) Everything is free, no money necessary. Everything is plentiful.

8) Have a chariot in the sky. This will be surronded by red and gold stage curtains. Bow before it and make wishes.

9) Privelige those faithful to me as a reward for faithful service.

10) Do not murder, if you murder you mysteriously die afterwards yourself to restore your victim's life.
 
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