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Religious Repellant

I'm sorry if it offends, but open hostility is the only answer.
I have had the same situation in airport lounges and cafes, several times. If you try to nicely dismiss them, you get "....but don't you have the time to consider the most precious thing in life, your immortal soul?", or some other nonsense. If you tell them you're a nontheist, they call in the big dogs because you're now a ten point conversion instead of a mere one point coup.

I first try looking up from my book and saying, "Sorry! I can't read.", as they profer the pamphlet. If they persist, I then just tell them to please go away. That generally takes care of it, but the rare ignoramus who continues then gets the Tragic Monkey suggestion of snarling and hissing (at least figuratively). It's important to stay on subject, though, in any debate, and my subject is simply "Go Away". I give them no philosophical or theological hook to hang their whacky-woo hat on, so they are reduced to having no "...but the bible says" arguments.
 
Foolmewunz said:
If they persist, I then just tell them to please go away. That generally takes care of it, but the rare ignoramus who continues then gets the Tragic Monkey suggestion of snarling and hissing (at least figuratively)
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No, no! It's much more fun to snarl and hiss literally. Really. Try it next time!
 
Well, I used to do the Goth-like thing. Long hair..et cetera.

But I find the Glare of Hate and RageTM works pretty well.

Hmmmmmmm..

Maybe I'll have to add hissing to that...

Sometimes I find saying something like "No god can protect you from me." whilst employing the Glare of Hate and RageTM can be quite effective, if delivered with clear diction. All movie villians have exceptionally clear diction for some reason.

It's amazing how effective cheap theatrics can be.
 
qayak said:
I am hoping that one of the learned members of this forum can steer me towards a religious repellant. Something that will make it unnecessary for me to engage these people in conversation. I want them to walk into any room that I am in and automatically go to the most distant point from me and I want it to be completely unoffensive to everyone else. In fact, I will pay extra if I can get a religious repellant/hot babe attracter along the lines of those sun screen/bug repellants you can buy.
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How about waring a crucifix (same ploy as a single women waring wedding rings in a pub). Kinda goes against the grain though. :)
 
qayak said:
This is a good point and I will have to think about it. A religious person pushing their religion is just another form of solicitor. Hmmmmm.........

It would still be hard for me to be rude but, no one ever said life was going to be easy. ;)
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It took me a while to just hang up on solicitors, but I eventually realized I wasn't being half as rude as they were.

Ryokan's suggestion about claiming Buddhism also works ok, because they probably don't have a "How to convert a Buddhist" script. They have prepared for atheists and Catholics, but those weird religions throw them off their game.

Or you could always tell them you're a Muslim, and then start fingering something under your shirt and acting very nervous.
 
Interupt them as they are speaking with a twisted smile and say, "The pigeons tell me to punish the naughty girls".

Might work.
 
I'm 57. In that time I have probably been confronted with relgious people of one persuasion or another about 100 times in my adult life.

I have never had an experience where just saying "I'm not religious, but thank you for you time" politely doesn't end the conversation. On rare occasions I've chosen to engage the people in coversation about their views, but that was my choice. I don't know why the planet I'm on is so different than the planet that a lot of the posters in this thread seem to be on.

ETA: Tnaks for the story gayak. I thought it was a nice little slice of life piece and I thought it was entertaining. OTOH, I have a lot of work to do and I am sitting here procrastinating, so anything that isn't work might seem nice.
 
Look over their right shoulder and then scream;

"LOOK, THE RAPTURE!!!"

and then run...

Alternatively, you can have a few expensive sounding theological and philosophical points at the ready;

"In order for me to discuss this, I would first need to resolve some issues that I have with the eschatological model regarding the economy of salvation as expressed by sacramental and liturgical forgiveness of sins. I'm unsure as to how the infallible nature of revelation can be adequately transmitted through a human agent and yet still retain the ontological nature of a fellow member of the faith as opposed to an unmediated extension on the divinity itself."

...and then they leave. Seriously, that works.
 
Where do you people live were you are being confronted on what seems like a regular basis by prostelizers? I want to know so I can make sure not to live there.
 
LawnOven said:
Where do you people live were you are being confronted on what seems like a regular basis by prostelizers? I want to know so I can make sure not to live there.
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In Mesa, AZ, not a week goes by without me seeing Mormon missionaries on their bicycles. I refer to them as "mind vultures".

They've always been easy to shoo away when they come to my door. Mormons are nothing if not polite.
 
LawnOven said:
Where do you people live were you are being confronted on what seems like a regular basis by prostelizers? I want to know so I can make sure not to live there.
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New Brunswick (the province, not the spot in Jersey) and we have JWs all over the place.
 
"Do you believe in the Goldern Rule, 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?'"

(Evangelist probably answers in the affirmative)

"Since you are trying to convert others to your system of beliefs, do you want others to try and convert you to their system of beliefs?"

(Evangelist probably answers in the negative)

"Then perhaps you should stop. It is not more polite just because you think you are right."

Edit: Don't forget to be polite yourself and smile.
 
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Alot of the replies seem to be aimed at making you feel smug whilst dismissing the zelot. I find Meadmakers solution to be the bast, just say you are not interested, if they persist, then get rude.
I know it's annoying to be pestered by these people, and it would be nice to always have a 'zinger' to get them with, but most of the time it's just not worth it.

Having said that....

The funniest dismmisal I ever saw was when a couple came to the door and my dad answered..

"Hello, we're from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints." they said,
to which my dad replied "Well, we all have our cross to bear." smiled and closed the door.

:)
 
Orangutan said:
Alot of the replies seem to be aimed at making you feel smug whilst dismissing the zelot.
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I find a lot of the replies are in reaction to the fact that being imposed upon by religious salesmen is sufficiently rude and preumptuous even on the first pass that a little smugness in the retort might be justified.
 
I think you should always be polite when dealing with those you disagree with. Rudeness makes it easier for them to vilify you. If you are polite and respectful, they find it harder to be rude to you.

I heard a woman on NPR one day respond to someone who was extremely rude to her by saying, "That's an interesting variation of etiquette."
 
Orangutan said:
Alot The funniest dismmisal I ever saw was when a couple came to the door and my dad answered..

"Hello, we're from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints." they said,
to which my dad replied "Well, we all have our cross to bear." smiled and closed the door.

:)
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He he he. I like that.

I think I'll just simplify it to "I'm so sorry..."
 
RenaissanceBiker said:
I think you should always be polite when dealing with those you disagree with. Rudeness makes it easier for them to vilify you. If you are polite and respectful, they find it harder to be rude to you.
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I never claimed that it was all right to be rude. Rather, I pointed out that this kind of intrusion might justify "a little smugness" in return.

I think I'm dextrous enough to do both at the same time.
 
Sinisterdan said:
I think I'm dextrous enough to do both at the same time.
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Lucky!

Maybe that's why I think being polite is a better option. Thinking of a smug answer is about as far as I get, I either stumble as I try to get the words out my voice will go all squeeaky and whiny. I think it's the adrenalin or the excitement of knowing I have somthing very cutting and dry to say. Perhaps I just need to get into more verbal fisticuffs for practice.

... sets of to start a fight ....

:)
 
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