'Rapture' question

[Atlas]

Re: Re: Re: Re: 'Rapture' question

What about the saved christian who FINALLY goes out & buys that Corvette convertable he's been lusting after all his life?

Ralph,
What would suck is if his car smashes into a tree and I had co-signed the loan.

Do you think maybe he might want Jesus to just hold off a little while longer-----or maybe even let him take the car with him???

I hope the Rapture holds off till sometime in the future when we finally have flying cars. Those would be fun to show off. But driving a regular Corvette over a cloud would seem to me to be an awfully bumpy ride.

 

[ceo_esq]

Bignickel...just curious... why do you print the word 'god' with the vowel missing?

Might have something to do with this.

 

[triadboy]

Might have something to do with this.

Is that weird or what? Is "God" His name or His function? I thought Yahweh was his name? Or El Shaddai?

 

[Bottle or the Gun]

Found this a few minutes ago on their board. I guess they aren't ready...

 

[c4ts]

Rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture JESUS! JESUS! Rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture JESUS! JESUS! Oooh, the devil, it's the devil, it's the devil. Rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture JESUS! JESUS! Rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture JESUS! JESUS! Oooh, the devil, it's the devil, it's the devil. Rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture JESUS! JESUS! Rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture JESUS! JESUS! Oooh, the devil, it's the devil, it's the devil. Rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture JESUS! JESUS! Rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture JESUS! JESUS! Oooh, the devil, it's the devil, it's the devil. Rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture JESUS! JESUS! Rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture JESUS! JESUS! Oooh, the devil, it's the devil, it's the devil. Rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture JESUS! JESUS! Rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture JESUS! JESUS! Oooh, the devil, it's the devil, it's the devil...

 

[Atlas]

G_d.... Is that weird or what? Is "God" His name or His function? I thought Yahweh was his name? Or El Shaddai?

Triadboy,
When you brought up El Shaddai - it made me think of El Kabong.
He wore a mask to hide his identity. Maybe the hyphen is like a mask so unbelievers won't know if the writer is talking about: Gad, Ged, Gid, God, or Gud and sometimes Gyd.

El Kabong is the one on the rope...

Can you guess which character it is without the mask? It's almost impossible.

 

[Ratman_tf]

Re: Mother of Madness, this is surreal!

move towards open sky, skylights or at least upper stories*


*The bible states: "Taken Up" but is without comment on material barriers. This could be embarrassing for people taken up from the ground floor of a large building.

This has got to be one of the wackiest thing's I've read. Do these people think that an omnipotent creator couldn't poof someone through a roof or flick a skylight open for his chosen ones? Or if they're stuck in a basement are they gonna bounce around on the ceiling like a helium balloon and miss all the rapture-ness? What about people in submarines or a space shuttle? Will a rapture-ready astronaut get called... back down? And what about all the chosen ones who's bodies have decayed away?

Hunh. Maybe I don't want to understand.

 

[c4ts]

I just realized that El Kabong is God!

 

[whitefork]

And El Bong is the magical conduit that lets you see him.

 

[Atlas]

I just realized that El Kabong is God!

It's about freakin time, slowpoke.

 

[VicDaring]

Rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture JESUS! JESUS! Rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture JESUS! JESUS! Oooh, the devil, it's the devil, it's the devil. Rapture rapture rapture rapture rapture...etc. etc. etc.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

 

[Atlas]

And El Bong is the magical conduit that lets you see him.

That's what I've been saying... "Smoke" and mirrors...

Wow... look at the colors...

 

[Atlas]

Re: Re: Mother of Madness, this is surreal!

This has got to be one of the wackiest thing's I've read. Do these people think that an omnipotent creator couldn't poof someone through a roof or flick a skylight open for his chosen ones? Or if they're stuck in a basement are they gonna bounce around on the ceiling like a helium balloon and miss all the rapture-ness? What about people in submarines or a space shuttle? Will a rapture-ready astronaut get called... back down? And what about all the chosen ones who's bodies have decayed away?

Hunh. Maybe I don't want to understand.

Ratman, an omnipotent creator probably could do the poof through the roof... but why take chances. Personally, I'd stay outa basements period - just to be on the safe side.

As far as astronauts... when I was a kid, long before we went to the moon, I had a teacher who told us that man will never go into space because Satan is bound to the Earth and man is a sinful creature who cannot escape the clutches of Satan.

Yet more reason to believe the moonlandings were a hoax.

 

[Atlas]

Anybody notice that the sig of VicDaring closely describes El Kabong and his alter ego Quick Draw McGraw?

The Sig of VicDaring
The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.

Could he be G_d laughing at us?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

He was laughing at you c4ts and you said...

I just realized that El Kabong is God!

 

[Temporal Renegade]

Re: Re: Re: Re: 'Rapture' question

What about the saved christian who FINALLY goes out & buys that Corvette convertable he's been lusting after all his life?

Three hours after he drives home with it-----the rapture occurs.

Do you think maybe he might want Jesus to just hold off a little while longer-----or maybe even let him take the car with him???

Well, they wouldn't get into Heaven in the first place, as LUST is classified as a Sin!

 

[mjv]

I know of two passages that address the Rapture

1 Thessalonians Chapter 4: verses 15-17 -- seems to suggest that the humans are snatched up bodily:
15 For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive [and] remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.

16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:

17 Then we which are alive [and] remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.



1 Corinthians Chapter 15: verses 50-55 -- Seems to tell a slightly different story of living bodies lifted to Heaven

50 Now this I say, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; neither doth corruption inherit incorruption.

51 Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed,

52 In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.

53 For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality.

54 So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory.

55 O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?

So wait a minute, the trumpets blow, lots of fanfare, and the dead are taken to heaven first? Aren't the dead already IN heaven?

And why do they need their bodies? If you are already in heaven for the last several centuries, you've gotten used to life without one. This seems to imply that people in heaven now are not getting the full "I'm in heaven and I have a physical body" benefit.

What if my body has completely decomposed over several centuries; do I get a new body? Can I pick the one I want?

 

[Atlas]

So wait a minute, the trumpets blow, lots of fanfare, and the dead are taken to heaven first? Aren't the dead already IN heaven?

I think there's supposed to be 7 trumpet blasts. And who knows how far apart they are, or even if you're going to be able to hear them. Anyway, the last one is the one that seems to signal the Rapture.

About the dead... There is some question about where the dead actually reside. I posted in another thread yesterday that The Apostle's Creed has Jesus descending into Hell during the 3 days he was dead. Catholics teach that Jesus went to a part of Hell called Limbo. It's got air conditioning. The dead in Christ dwell there while they await Judgement day, which happens at the 2nd coming of Jesus.

Originally posted in the Gospel of Matthew Chapter 25 Verse 31-34, 41, 46
31 "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on the throne of his glory.
32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats,
33 and he will put the sheep at his right hand and the goats at the left.
34 Then the king will say to those at his right hand, ‘Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom...

41 Then he will say to those at his left hand, ‘You that are accursed, depart from me into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels;

46 And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life" (NRSV).

Back to the post by mjv
And why do they need their bodies?

Of course you need a body. How will Jesus know if you're a Sheep or a Goat. (Baaaaaaa)

What if my body has completely decomposed over several centuries; do I get a new body? Can I pick the one I want?

If you like Angora or something you can put in a request, but it's gonna be a busy time. I wouldn't get my hopes up.

One last thing, on the cross Jesus turns to the good thief and says: This day you will be with me in Paradise. Now when Jesus talked with Mary Magdalene 3 days later He told her not to touch Him because He had not yet ascended. So unless Jesus was goofin on the good thief, Paradise is not in the direction of an ascender. He went to Hell - Limbo. Paradise? Ah, what's in a name?

 

[Bottle or the Gun]

What's up with Rapture Ready. I can't register, but I see knew members all the time. Have they changed how you register because of JREF member attacks?