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Raising a skeptic

Dermanus

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Mar 22, 2005
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I have a 10 month old son, who is (of course) brilliant.

Although I have some rough ideas on good ways to teach him a healthy skepticism when he's young, does anyone have any suggestions on good ways to introduce it to him?

Obviously he's too young now, his vocabulary is: "banana" "daddy" "boob" and "mine", but the time will come when he is exposed to some ridiculous thought and I'm not sure of the best way to address it.

Best to figure it out now than wing it then and screw it up.
 
I figure it's very difficult to really teach much at an early age. Right now, I just encourage my kids to question things. I try to point out odd things band we try together to guess why they are that way. Most of the time, I know the answer but pretend I don't. That way I can show them the way I want them to think about things.

One of the most useful pieces of parenting advice I ever received was: "Don't worry that your kids don't seem to listen to you. You should instead worry about the fact that they are always watching you."

If you demonstrate what you want, they will pick it up from you. Of course, they'll also pick up your nasty habits...
 
Dermanus,

I was raised a skeptic by my father, although I never knew the name for his ideology until I was an adult. He used to have this silly phrase "Sorry! Doesn't compute!" whenever something seemed unlikely to him. It drove me quite mad at times because I would come home and repeat weird and wild stories and he would just flatly refuse to believe them. Of course I, in turn did the same thing with my friends (and still do when they send me stupid emails with outrageous claims in them).

Basically Dad would explain why he thought that my tall tale or strange claim was unlikely and therefore demonstrated the process whereby one runs all incoming info against the info one already has, to see if it is logically compatible. If not, something is either wrong with what you already know, something is wrong with the new piece of information, or you simply need some more information to allow you to make the two compatible.

The second key thing both my parents did was to rarely express their own political/ social viewpoint to me. We would watch the news together and I would often be outraged by one thing or another, (as the news programs want you to be) but my parents would always argue the other side with me. I said we should increase taxes to feed the poor, my parents would ask me to justify how much of an increase? Which poor would be eligible? How would I address the disincetive to work created by higher taxation? What was the basis of my claim that the poor should be fed at all?
It was bascially a Socratic upbringing that trained my argumentative skills and by extension my powers of logic and reason. It was also important for me as I was a very "black and white" child and needed some pretty hardcore intervention in order to be even willing to consider the "grey" possibilities.

I plan to the same with any children I have, as it was very successful in my case. I also plan not to encourage my children to believe in things I know to be false eg. Santa, tooth fairy.

Hope this helps
Sansha.
 
Dermanus said:

Although I have some rough ideas on good ways to teach him a healthy skepticism when he's young, does anyone have any suggestions on good ways to introduce it to him?
Click to expand...

My suggestions; introduce him to as much nature and science stuff, and mystery stories as possible, and always ask him what he thinks of something. :)
 
Social aspects of believing something different

I consider myself a "good skeptic" and was even partially raised as such, father being interested in church, mother thinking it was "hocus pocus". I am glad my mother's concept prevailed, but I am pained by the scars left from being "outside the group" when I was small. In addition to not having Sunday school in which to learn social skills, I withdrew somewhat in other situations, because was always afraid somebody would ask what church I went to, and find out that I didn't go.

I think your ideas about how to introduce critical thinking to children are wonderful. But do not neglect to address the social aspects of being a child who is different, in a country where people confuse being moral and good with believing in religion.

It is important to equip the child to deal with the reaction of other children or even teachers who may not accept a skeptical stance. Being a skeptic - particularly a religious skeptic, may become increasingly difficult given the growth of "religious righteousness" in this country.
 
I think Lantern's points are good ones and wanted to point out that I went to Sunday School, youth group and a christian private school throughout my childhood, all as an atheist (although I wouldn't have given it that name at the time. I just thought it all sounded like crap)
So atheists don't have to miss out on social aspects. Here in Australia, the social aspect for young kids is usually sport not sunday school so it isn't really an issue but I understand the States to be different.
 
I agree with jzs.

I also recommend not sweating it too much.

Kids will get into silly beliefs and unsupported beliefs simply because they are fun. Beating them with a mental sledgehammer can at some point be counterproductive.

Just emphasize that it isn't what conclusions they come to that is important, but the thought they put behind them.

If they're anything like my kids, it will make them want to discuss questionable things with you.
 
As a child, a friend of mine was a great reader of "Mad" magazine. His father encouraged it and talked to him about things in it. I don't know what "Mad" is like today, but at the time it didn't take much very seriously. My friend grew up with a healthy skepticism, honed by the methods of inquiry that his dad introduced. I would be curious what today's equivalent magazine / e-zine would be.
 
Answer questions. I'd read Feynman's books, since I think his dad did a lot of really good raising with him. Don't just teach your kid the names of the birds, teach him to observe and look at birds. Ask him why would a bird do that?

As for Santa, I did the whole Santa as culture thing. I taught how Santa is seen around the world, which is really very interesting. I also explained that there will be those at school who are taught at home that santa is real, and that there will be those (for instance the Jewish children) who do not see Santa as "real".

Remember, when your child is just starting preschool, he may have imaginary friends ( I work with 3-5 year olds). This is common and doesn't mean your child will be a woo woo. Also, a teddy or some other doll will be "real". Happened with both my skeptic girls. They still treasure their special stuffed toy. It's ok, it's the age. Dont' sweat it.

Try to keep up with what your childs cognitive development is at each age.

Most of all, spend time together. My child and I still enjoy watching good and bad shows on the Discovery channel and stuff. We will watch the crap with ghosts and stuff and I'll ask questions. Once my daughter and I spent the night in a graveyard to prove a point to friends. It wasn't haunted, but there were field rats! Yikes!

Joe Nickell has great books geared to children.

And don't forget my favorite childrens skeptic story! The Emperors New Clothes. Buy it today!
 
Hi,

You might want to look for Richard Dawkins' essay "A prayer for my daughter". This was something he wrote to his daughter when she was 10, and it's a masterpiece. He gently explains why some people believe what they do, and talks about good and bad reasons for believing something is true. As it's aimed at a young child much of his usual acidic wit is toned down but the message remains the same. I tried a quick web search but couldn't find it - it's in the back of his book "A Devil's Chaplain".

Good luck!
FQ.
 
You may also want to check out this article from the "Skeptic" the Aus skeptics journal. The actual article is listed under Vol 21 No3 "Raising a skeptical family".

Have fun - parenthood is one of the most challanging jobs you will ever have. :p
 
I don't have to worry about this issue. My kids just have to watch my wife's face when they hear something ridiculous spewed.

And you think you're a skeptic.

~~ Paul
 
I tend to screw with their brains as early as possible. Feed them the biggest line of BS they could ever hear about something. It was quite amusing watching them react initially, and then they would finally think their way through things.

Some examples:

A few years ago, while driving through Vermont with a carload of kids, I started telling them that the fog we were driving through was actually dragon's breath, caused by dragons who swooped down upon cars as they drove along the highway.
==========
While walking through the local grocery store we came upon small metal doors in the floor. I informed the kids that under those doors was a pit of alligators, and the doors were left open at night to deter thieves.
==========

While walking through a field with three of the kids, we passed by some of this.

5-30-02snakespit.jpg


With a straight face I told them that it was spit placed there as territorial markers by a ferocious little critter known as a 'snap-dragon'. These creatures were lizards than ran on two legs, would puff out their hoods when agitated, and LOVED to nip at the exposed shins, calves, and ankles of unsuspecting children. I stressed the importance of moving quickly through the grass lest one of these nasty beasts took a bite. Later, when one of these was shown on TV, I made sure to mention that it was nothing more than a 'snap-dragon', easily found in nearby fields.

lzard17.jpg


============

My kids have grown up realizing I'm a teller of tall tales, but it's taught them to question things.

RayG
 
I tend to favor RayG's approach...they start trying to figure out if their leg is being pulled quickly.

And for when they pull that skepticism crap on their school chums, better teach them how to fight, early on as well.
:p
 
Thanks for your help everyone. I've got tomorrow off so I'm headed to the library.

And:
And for when they pull that skepticism crap on their school chums, better teach them how to fight, early on as well.
Click to expand...
I met my wife at a karate club, and our first date was after I helped to test her for her black belt. Fighting won't be a problem for him. ;)
 
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