Piggy has a conversation with a Glorn theorist
GT: I was talking with a fellow at work this morning, and he said Glorn doesn’t exist. I correct him, of course. I told him he should say that he doesn’t believe in Glorn. But to say Glorn doesn’t exist is irrational, impossible, because after all, you can’t disprove it.
P: What’s Glorn?
GT: Didn’t your parents ever teach you about Glorn?
P: Nope.
GT: Well, it’s time you learned, then. First of all, most Glorn theorists say that Glorn is responsible for all the motion in the universe, and—
P: Whoa, time out. A couple of questions here. I’m no scientists, but I’ve read my basic physics, the laws of motion included, and I don’t remember any Glorn.
GT: Well that’s just science. Glorn isn’t science. It’s bigger than that.
P: Bigger?
GT: Metaphorically speaking, yes. It used to be thought that Glorn caused all motion directly, and some Glorn theorists still believe that. But nowadays, sophisticated Glorn theory holds that Glorn created the forces of nature which govern motion, although some contend that Glorn still affects motion subtly when—
P: Okay, that’s my second question. What’s all this about some theorists say one thing and others say another?
GT: Well, Glorn theory is a lot like science in that regard. There’s legitimate disagreement.
P: So what you’re saying is that people used to think that Glorn caused all motion, but when science showed otherwise, then they changed the theory?
GT: The theory was refined. Our understanding changed, it became more complete.
P: Alright, well, so some people say Glorn causes all motion directly, others disagree. Some say Glorn sometimes affects motion, others don’t. Does everyone agree that Glorn created motion, then?
GT: Pretty much.
P: But not everyone?
GT: Well, there are some backward people who believe that there isn’t one Glorn, but rather that there are many glorns, and so….
P: Wait a minute. What percent of Glorn theorists believe in multiple glorns?
GT: Well, I don’t have the figure, but… I’d say a good number in Asia and several regions of Africa. Maybe most there.
P: Those are not small areas.
GT: Well, the one-Glorn model is catching on there.
P: But everyone else says “one Glorn”?
GT: Yes, essentially.
P: Essentially?
GT: I don’t want to get into the subtleties of the theory. Middle Eastern theorists favor a strict one Glorn model. In much of India, and in Europe and the Americas, you more often see a triune model. But the triune model is still a monist model.
P: Okay, whatever. Is there anything that everyone agrees on?
GT: Everyone agrees that Glorn is not scientific, not just matter and energy. Well, I mean, yes, there are people who say that Glorn is “energy”, but they don’t mean the kind of energy Einstein was talking about.
P: What kind of energy do they mean?
GT: Listen, Glorn is ultimately beyond our comprehension. We can’t hope to understand it fully.
P: I just want to understand what you’re talking about. So far it’s all just a jumble of contradiction and fluff.
GT: So you think you know everything? Don’t you at least admit that there are things yet to be discovered? That there might be something out there greater than your little brain can grasp?
P: Yeah, sure, but what I’m saying is, I don’t have any clear idea what you’re talking about. I mean, some folks say this, others say that….
GT: Look. Glorn is greater than the forces of nature, right? It can act on nature, but it doesn’t have to. It may choose not to be discovered. You can’t say that it doesn’t – that’s just an argument from ignorance. Glorn causes motion, or it caused the forces which govern motion, so there’s your definition. I believe that there’s one, and if others believe there are many, then it could be that these are just different aspects of the one Glorn. You know, like the Grand Unification Theory says that all the forces of nature could just be different aspects of one force.
P: Yeah, but what is it? You’ve got all these theories about it, but what is it? If I talk about gravity, sure there are theories about it, but I can at least say something that everyone agrees on, and I can point to some data that demonstrate that.
GT: I’ve already told you, Glorn is something different from all that. You can’t get at it if you limit yourself to scientific thinking.
P: I just want to get a handle on this. Sounds to me like a bunch of nonsense, just ideas in people’s heads.
GT: Okay, but you have to admit that one of those ideas might be right, so you can’t say that Glorn doesn’t exist. You can only say you choose not to believe.
P: Believe what? You haven’t told me anything coherent to believe or not believe. Look, if this thing is real, you should be able to point to something it does—
GT: Motion, we’ve already covered that.
P: But we already have naturalistic theories to account for motion, and you say this is different—
GT: It’s a competing theory, then.
P: No, it’s not. A competing theory would have something to show, some deduction from a verified model, some evidence—
GT: How do you know that Glorn isn’t too subtle for our instruments to detect?
P: How do I know that what isn’t too subtle for our instruments to detect? You’re just handing me a bunch of ideas that jumped from somebody’s head. If there’s no evidence for it, and we have verified theories to account for everything it supposedly does, and there’s no agreement about what it is, then there’s nothing to believe in.
GT: But you can’t disprove it.
P: Disprove what?
GT: One of the theories might be true.
P: Which one?
GT: You can’t disprove them all. And even if we haven’t gotten it right yet, someone might come up with one that fits perfectly. We might discover new things. Science isn’t perfect. Everything you know might be wrong.
P: This is a waste of time.
GT: Now you’re just being closed-minded.
P: I’m gonna go get a sandwich.
GT: May Glorn be with you!