Pineapple on pizza

Pineapple on pizza is gross. I'd like to appeal to authority at this point and quote the grand master:

Even so, there is no excuse for putting pineapple on pizza.

-Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent
page 200 of my edition.
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I never read The Last Continent. I did read The Lost Continent by Bill Bryson. I found it hilarious, but I can recall no mention of pizza or pineapple.
 
Joshua Korosi said:
Pizza is a traditionally masculine dish; whereas pineapples are a traditionally feminine fruit. This is a clear example of the feminist matriarchal conspiracy trying to inject itself into anything that even has a semblance of maleness left.
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The victim pig having an apple stuck in it's mouth is hardly less masculine for the sweetness the fruit imbues to the slaughterd flesh.
 
EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!


Pineapple on pizza, that's like putting little dead fishes on pizza. :eek:




Boo
 
Beleth said:
What is possibly feminine about a pineapple? I just don't get it.
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I'm serious. Pineapples are interesting to look at, but daunting to approach or touch. It's really difficult to get to the worthwhile inner parts, and even if you are able to, it's only worthwhile to get to them at certain times. Whereas women are....

Never mind. I get it now.
 
Pineapple pizza is the only thing that got me through Inorganic portion of my Chemistry class sane.

There was this little shop in Ithaca that would deliver till 2 am, as I recall. The delivery boys knew us by name that semester. I think we had sausage with ours. Interestingly, I never had a craving for it after. I think I forever associated pineapple pizza with chemistry.
 
i love pineapple on pizza. then i wash it down with some lukewarm milk.

pineapple, broccoli and duck sausage have no business being on a pizza.
 
Pineapple - yes.

Pumpkins, cranberries, grapes, mangos, cabbage - no

I don't eat hot dogs, but if I did: no ketchup.
 
Pineapple on pizza has strong scriptural support (both old and new testament) :

Genesis 28:10 - And Jacob went out from Beersheba, and went toward Haran.

Genesis 28:11 - And he lighted upon a certain place, and tarried there all night, because the sun was set; and he took of the stones of that place, and put them for his pillows, and lay down in that place to sleep.

Genesis 28:12 - And he dreamed, and behold a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven: and behold the angels of God eating Pizza with pineapple upon it so.
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Luke 15:1 - Then drew near unto him all the publicans and sinners for to hear him.

Luke 15:2 - And the Pharisees and scribes murmured, saying, This man receiveth sinners, and eateth pizza topped in pineapple with them.
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Even the Roman Catholic Catechism supports the use of pineapple on pizza.

From CATECHISM OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, SECOND EDITION
(PART ONE, THE PROFESSION OF FAITH ... III. THE MYSTERIES OF JESUS' PUBLIC LIFE ... Jesus' temptations ) 540 Jesus' temptation reveals the way in which the Son of God is Messiah, contrary to the way Satan proposes to him and the way men wish to attribute to him. This is why Christ vanquished the Tempter for us: "For we have not a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tested as we are, yet without sinning." By the solemn forty days of Lent, and throught the Holy Union of pineapple and pizza, the Church unites herself each year to the mystery of Jesus in the desert
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Really, the evidence is overwheming - even god likes pineapple on his pizza.
 
When I was stationed in Minot, North Dakota in the AF. A bunch of Dak buddies of mine suddenly got the urge for a pizza. Before I could say 'pepperoni', they ALL matter-of-factly ordered pineapple and sauerkraut!



(It wasn't bad I guess)
 
Pineapple on pizza, I am reliably told, is one of the signs of the apocalypse. Pestilence, Plague, and Pineapple Pizza, or something like that. Not that I won't eat it, if somebody else is buying. If I'm buying, it's double garlic and anchovy--when I was in college, 3 out of 4 years there was nobody else who would try to bum pizza off me if (and only if) I ordered double garlic and anchovy. (If nobody is around, I'll order--or better, make--tomato and garlic pizza. As for the vegetable/fruit/berry tomato question, the question is groundless. Put it on my pizza, I don't give a rat's @$$ what it is.)










(mmmmmmmmm, rat's @$$ pizza...........beats pineapple.....)
 
We call Hawaiian pizza "Girl Pizza" at work. We'll eat it anyway, but it's "Girl Pizza".

I like PESTO pizza. With mushrooms, olives, artichoke hearts... AND GARLIC. More GARLIC. I don't care if you're getting sick from just looking at it, add MORE. Do you call that "too much"? I can still see the pizza under it! Keep it comming!

The alternate recipe is just pesto & cheese with XXX garlic, and pepperoni. This looks absolutely revolting. Green, with lumps, and red sores; a little like tuberculosis on toast. A good way to ensure nobody begs for it. Tastes great.

Pizza always needs enough garlic that you can smell it comming even if you're under ten feet of water and your nose is blocked.
 
arcticpenguin said:
Surely the topic of pizza toppings belongs on the Religion forum.

This came up on another thread: http://www.randi.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?threadid=21452


This is blasphemy! I like pineapple on pizza.
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Then you are wrong. I stand by my original assertion.

Pineapple on pizza is kinda like cantaloupe in fruit salad. It ruins the whole thing. My roommate afgter college used to like to order that foul Canadian Bacon and Pineapple atrocity that he thought was pizza. I'd get half of a sausage and mushroom pizza (the real one true pizza) co-baked with his train wreck of a gastronomic experience on the other side. His gross monstrosity always overpowered the subtle play of the delicate balance of perfection demonstrated by the intermingling of the sauce, the sausage, and the mushrooms, caressed by the crust, and cuddled by the perfectly melted cheese. His crap ruined my pizza.

At my wedding, my Mother-in-law to be had made a beautiful fruit salad (for me), with strawberries, grapes, pears, bananas, kiwi, mangos, and all the other delicious fruits available in SoCal at the time. The caterers dumped melon ball in, and ruinied it.

Because cantaloupe in fruit salad and pineapple on pizza misbehave the same way. They are not content in merely not belonging there. No. No, they have to go and ruin the while thing.

My favorite combination is pineapple and pepperoni. It has a bit more zing than the more popular pineapple and Canadian bacon "Hawaiian" pizza. After all, Hawaii is not a part of Canada!
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This is true (because Canada is part of North Dakota, and everybody knows that Hawaii is not part if North Dakota). But it's still wrong.

As I look for ways to enrich and expand my faith, I may soon be trying pineapple in tacos.
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If there's a hell, there's a special corner of it, just for you.:p

If there's a heaven, surely it's filled with carnitas.
 
Re: Re: Pineapple on pizza

kerfer said:


Then you are wrong. I stand by my original assertion.

Pineapple on pizza is kinda like cantaloupe in fruit salad. It ruins the whole thing. My roommate afgter college used to like to order that foul Canadian Bacon and Pineapple atrocity that he thought was pizza. I'd get half of a sausage and mushroom pizza (the real one true pizza) co-baked with his train wreck of a gastronomic experience on the other side. His gross monstrosity always overpowered the subtle play of the delicate balance of perfection demonstrated by the intermingling of the sauce, the sausage, and the mushrooms, caressed by the crust, and cuddled by the perfectly melted cheese. His crap ruined my pizza.

At my wedding, my Mother-in-law to be had made a beautiful fruit salad (for me), with strawberries, grapes, pears, bananas, kiwi, mangos, and all the other delicious fruits available in SoCal at the time. The caterers dumped melon ball in, and ruinied it.

Because cantaloupe in fruit salad and pineapple on pizza misbehave the same way. They are not content in merely not belonging there. No. No, they have to go and ruin the while thing.


This is true (because Canada is part of North Dakota, and everybody knows that Hawaii is not part if North Dakota). But it's still wrong.



If there's a hell, there's a special corner of it, just for you.:p

If there's a heaven, surely it's filled with carnitas.
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pineapple carnitas, surely.
 
Pineapple, bacon, anchovies, mushroom - if you like this pizza, I want to marry you.

Pineapple also belongs on hamburgers (along with beetroot).

Eggs do not belong on pizza, nor does avocado - ever.
 
reprise said:
Pineapple, bacon, anchovies, mushroom - if you like this pizza, I want to marry you.
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Just how many people do you want to marry? Has Austrialia recently revised it's polygamy laws?
 
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