Partners and religious beliefs

Andonyx said:


This I can agree with. I think it depends on the circumstance and proximity as to what degree I can accept almost any difference, down to ice cream flavor.


Here I disagree. While my respect must also be earned. I am not hardened gaainst someone by their beliefs. People start at zero with me regardless, not at a negative number because they happen to be religious. And my respect is judged on the sum total of the person, and their actions. There are no automatic DQs for belief. I can respect Carter because of the magnanimity of his actions and what's in his head (or heart, heh heh) does not detract enough form that to make me disrespect him.


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This is a fair criticism to which I really don't have a good answer other than to say, I also have my predjudices.

Ultimately what bothers me about the presumptive position is that let's say, hypothetically you and I were friends. If at some point you met my brother, or my parents, or my close friends. Based on your own position I would know that even if they were fantastic people, even if they did their best to respect your position and beliefs and even if they were very important in my life, and their actions were beyond reproach they would never have your respect because they hold a modicum of relgious belief.

Not only do I find that somewhat offensive, (were we friends), but I find it illogical. [/B]
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I think you misunderstand me. I would not dislike them nor am I hardened against them because of their beliefs, and I would judge those people on their actions and treat them accordingly. Yes, I can respect the actions of the people who are believers; hence the Jimmy Carter and my sister examples, and I can provide yet another example: I have a very good friend who is a devote Jehovas Witness - she has my respect, but she has earned it over time by being a very sweet and wonderful person, but I do not in anyway, shape or form have any respect for her belief system, so we don't discuss those issues.

And once again, I reiterate, respect is something that is earned in my book, and if you earn it then you earn it regardless of your beliefs, but I will never look at unsubstantiated beliefs as a reasonable or rational choice. I have a hard time respecting anyone's belief system when it has no merit other than they want to believe.

And as I said before, my mate I hold to higher standard because I spend so much time with him, and if I didn't respect his beliefs, It would spoil our relationship eventually because my home is supposed to be the one place I can be unrestrainably myself, and I would not hold back how silly that persons beliefs are, and eventually that attitude would bleed over into everything. In social situations, I usually restrain myself from pointing out the short comings of others belief systems. In fact, I try very hard to avoid discussion of religion altogether out of respect for others, but I will not keep my mouth shut if they won't have the same respect for me, but even then, I am usually very nice and state, I am not a believer and try to move to a different subject.

Just as many religious people pray that I, the non-believer, find god, I hope they will eventually find rationality, but it is not my place nor my desire to force that on anyone. Believe as one will especially if it brings one happiness or fulfillment.

I am sorry you are offended by that, but I will not lie to myself about who I am, and I am biased about this (not bigotted as you suggested), but I try not to reflect that into my daily life too much. It sounds as if you are taking this too personally; I am very sure your family members are great people.
 
Okay before, you never differentiated between respecting their beliefs, and respecting the person.

You said that you could respect their actions, but not the actual person, You didn't say you could'nt respect their beliefs.

Once you make that distinction I'm all fine with it.

I think religious belief is cukoo, and if my religious friends ask I tell them that.

But the fact that they let me express that opinion is one of the reasons I respect them as people.

I think it is all just a mis-understanding then.
 
Andonyx said:
Okay before, you never differentiated between respecting their beliefs, and respecting the person.

You said that you could respect their actions, but not the actual person, You didn't say you could'nt respect their beliefs.

Once you make that distinction I'm all fine with it.

I think religious belief is cukoo, and if my religious friends ask I tell them that.

But the fact that they let me express that opinion is one of the reasons I respect them as people.

I think it is all just a mis-understanding then.
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I think we agree on it being a misunderstanding. I asked Nyarlathotep to take a look to see if I wasn't explaining myself clearly. It happens.
 
sparklecat,

I think kids make a huge difference - mostly because so many christian flavours insist on childhood entrapment ... er, I mean education. I've seen couples we know placed under mucho pressure (especially from the grandparents) once kids arrive. The incentive to baptise is strong, even if only to stop the nagging.

For what it's worth, my wife is sort of a vague deist I guess, which is only one step from an atheist anyway - so it's never really been a issue with us.
 
TruthSeeker said:
I refer you to this thread.

Update: he has decided to move out, probably on Christmas day while I visit with my family.
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TS - to hell with that idiot.

And I apologize in advance for this: even though you may have cared for him (or still do), he sucks and he is a bad person. What a sh!tty, manipulative, awful, inexcusable, blackmailish bunch of garbage. Besides, even if you converted, itwouldn't automagically make your kids Jewish. Oh, when you convert to Judaism, that actually changes your DNA! Fiddle-dee-dee!
 
How important do you think it is that a person and their partner, whether dating or married, have common religious beliefs?
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Well, I've been exchanging emails with a woman, who approached me on a internet dating service I'm on. She says she's a christian, I'm a hard atheist. Given that, I really don't care what the other person believes, unless it ends up causing some sort of personal harm or serious financial hardship. Now as to what happens when she finds out I'm an atheist, well let's say I'm prepared for things to end on the spot, if they don't then I'm fine with it, of course.
 
LFTKBS said:


TS - to hell with that idiot.

And I apologize in advance for this: even though you may have cared for him (or still do), he sucks and he is a bad person. What a sh!tty, manipulative, awful, inexcusable, blackmailish bunch of garbage. Besides, even if you converted, itwouldn't automagically make your kids Jewish. Oh, when you convert to Judaism, that actually changes your DNA! Fiddle-dee-dee!
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Thanks.

He is a good man. He does admirable work. He is smart and funny. But on this issue, he's a jerk or a bigot or whatever....

Anyway, life goes on and I will love again ;)
 
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