Paranormal And Children

[Hawk one]

c4ts: I had the exact same experience when I was 8. Of course, I think I used the term "intercourse without condom" (Yes, I was "technical" enough to use the term intercourse), and the teacher sure as hell didn't like it. At all. Was a public school, but I'm pretty sure he was a bit fundie.

Jambo: And a parent talking to a kid about this stuff isn't an experience for the kid how?

 

[Sharon]

Hi Harlequin

Thanks so much for the book title, just what I was looking for. All the better that it's about a pet as they have two dogs so this might help them get the foundations in their mind in advance of the fateful daywhen it happens for real.


Jambo: I personally think it is VERY important as a parent to teach my children to think things through and to question/question/question. I just wish I had been encouraged to do so as a child. It's not even about 'making' them believe or not believe. You make it sound like your forcing an opinion on someone. More about them having the tools in their mind to work things out and having the confidence to think it's ok to ask . Megan who is 5 pointed out this Christmas that our chimney is rather small so she can't see how santa can come down?. That's my girl I thought, you weight it all up. Will admitt I did lie and say that she was quite right therefore I would leave the patio window unlocked so he could deliver her presents

Just don't want the girls living in a Demon Haunted World Jambo where ghosts/witches/deseased spirits are 'supposedly hanging around them.

Much Love
Sharon

 

[Phrost]

Phrost,


I tend to disagree. I've travelled the "santa" road with my children, and it's great watching my daughter slowly work it out. She's asked several times now about "the truth", and each time I put it back on her to explain to me what she believes, and why. She (so far) has chosen to keep the myth alive, but it's only a matter of time before she lets go - and it will have been a journey of self discovery.

Yeah, but the point is that they'll either a.) never figure it out for themselves and/or be open to woo, or b.) figure it out and now be armed with the knowledge that you lie to them, at least occasionally.

As a parent, you're supposed to build the foundation of their understandings of the world. Reason and critical thinking are stone, while belief is sand. Which do you think a child is more likely to play with, given a choice between the two?

 

[Phrost]

Except of course you are claiming knowlage that you don't in fact have.

What knowledge is that? "God" is a lot more than just a comforting notion to people, but it is one nonetheless. I'm not claiming knowledge of whether or not "God" exists, just that people often like to lie and believe in lies, because it makes them feel better.

I don't think this can be disputed.

 

[Phrost]

I gave a friend's precocious five-year-old son a magic kit for Christmas, does that count?

I definitely think so. Wish I'd gotten one as a kid.

Caveat: As long as the "kit" doesn't include runes and a crystal ball, etc.

 

[Loki]

Phrost,

Yeah, but the point is that they'll either a.) never figure it out for themselves and/or be open to woo, or b.) figure it out and now be armed with the knowledge that you lie to them, at least occasionally.

No, actually the point is that :

(a) there is always the need to "lie" to someone - arranging a surprise party, for example. It's not that people fail to tell 'the truth and only the truth', its when and why.

(b) my daughter IS armed with the tools of rational thinking, and she's currently applying them and learning a valuable lesson in how to find the truth behind apparent public opinion. At least, that's how it looks to me - I'm comfortable with it.

Rather than just have me tell her to "think it through" and "don't just believe it because everyone tells you", she's actually doing it. And it will be no surprise to her to learn that her parents don't tell her the truth at all times - what child actually thinks that????

 

[Phrost]

Phrost,


No, actually the point is that :

(a) there is always the need to "lie" to someone - arranging a surprise party, for example. It's not that people fail to tell 'the truth and only the truth', its when and why.

(b) my daughter IS armed with the tools of rational thinking, and she's currently applying them and learning a valuable lesson in how to find the truth behind apparent public opinion. At least, that's how it looks to me - I'm comfortable with it.

Rather than just have me tell her to "think it through" and "don't just believe it because everyone tells you", she's actually doing it. And it will be no surprise to her to learn that her parents don't tell her the truth at all times - what child actually thinks that????

I'm not trying to be argumentative or even judgemental when it comes to your parental skills. My main point is that it just seems like it'd undermine, if even to a negligeable extent, the trust between you and your kids if they know you've lied to them.

But can you honestly say you didn't get any measure of joy out of their naive belief in Santa Claus? It wasn't cute in the least?

I think telling kids that "some adults like to convince them of silly things because it makes them (the adults) feel better" is a good way of getting them to question the motives of people and to not take everything at face value.

 

[AOK Tiger]

When they were little I started out with..

Well some people think there is a Heaven some people think you come back as something else and other think there is nothing more.

As they got older they of course asked which camp I fall into. (The Nothing more camp of course!)

I ALWAYS reiterate they must make up their own mind and I do not KNOW for sure what is right.

However with the (non God) paranormal… I give them my opinion in SPADES.. I tell them all about how NO ONE has ever won the million, how if the dead could talk murders would be solved, how psychics would win EVERY lottery, how seeing the future is paradoxically impossible etc.

Santa.. hmmm bit of a special case.. I sort of agree we should have told them the truth but it seemed “mean” and they have quickly worked it out anyway.

 

[Minkster]

on the santa thing....I was thinking a few weeks ago about this very subject. I don't have kids, but for me, part of the joy in growing up was the 'magic of chistmas', the expectation of santa on xmas eve, the thought that witches flew around on broomsticks on Halloween, the idea of the tooth fairy and so on and so on.....

I feel I have developed into a critical thinking adult, but if i had not believed - albeit for only a few years as a child - in these magical things then I'm sure I would have had a much more hollow childhood and also I probably wouldn't appreciate why people are ready to believe in the paranormal as well as I do. A child brought up to be critical thinking from the outset and to not believe in any of this sort of stuff would grow up not being able to appreciate things that other kids do, perhaps wouldn't enjoy some of the more magical disney movies and other things that many of us probably took for granted as a kid.

I'm not saying its the only way to raise kids, but I think I would go down the path of letting kids figure things out for themselves. I went to a Church of England school however my father (a hardened skeptic) refused to have me christened saying instead that I should 'make my own decision' in that regard. That seemed a smart move.