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Paranormal And Children

Sharon

Thinker
Sharon
Joined
Mar 11, 2004
Messages
182
I just wondered how the rest of you Sceptics dealt with the subject of death with your children/grandchildren.

My girls (Five years old) go to a Church Of England School. They come home and tal about God/Jesus. I say talk, probably more sing, they sing me their hymns they are learning. Already they , through the school have heard about Jesus/God. I must point out they haven’t heard it from me not because I’m anti but I ‘m agonistic (Hope I spelt that right?)

Anyway. Their friend, who is 5 like them, Uncle just recently died of cancer. Their friend told them that her uncle has died but he is now in heaven looking down on her. My girls asked what is heaven mummy? I was ok with this as I said, well girls, I don’t know, never been there. They then asked…..

So mummy when you die you go to heaven don’t you? Because Ellie’s Uncle did.

What would/do you say to your children?

I said: well people say we do but I don’t know girls.

What would/have you said to your children about deaths/ghosts Etc?

Sharon
 
Hi Sharon,

My eight year old son attends a state school and participates in Religious education by his own choice. I have neither encouraged or discouraged this. My father died the year before he was born and funnily enough I have always said that Grandad lives in the grass (at the cemetary), and my son has always accepted that.

He has never asked me about Heaven or a place you go to when you die. Whether this is because he knows I don't necessarily believe in such things and he doesn't want to upset me or because he thinks it's just a story that is written in the Bible, I don't know. However if he did ask me, I would simply say that his Grandad lives on in the family that survives him and that many people believe that you go to heaven when you die, but I don't think I do.

As for ghosts, (and monsters) there's no such thing!

Etonic
 
We tell our kids that when people die they are just dead, like when the cat dies. We have mentioned that other people think there is more going on behind the scenes, but our kids don't seem too interested in that notion. Who knows what their friends tell them?

Regarding ghosts, we just laugh.

~~ Paul
 
Tell them the truth.

There's no way to know what happens after people die because they don't come back. Anyone who tells them otherwise is lying.
 
Hi all

Thanks for your comments/suggestions. I just seem to say 'don't know girls' because I don't.

We are good on the Ghosts/witches one. Our Megans own words (while hands on hips ;) )

Mummy ghosts are not real are they? I mean they are just on scooby Doo, all in the imagination.

Thanks again guys.

Sharon
 
Sharon said:
Hi all

Thanks for your comments/suggestions. I just seem to say 'don't know girls' because I don't.

We are good on the Ghosts/witches one. Our Megans own words (while hands on hips ;) )

Mummy ghosts are not real are they? I mean they are just on scooby Doo, all in the imagination.

Thanks again guys.

Sharon
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Good thing about Scooby Doo, they are always scams.
And they would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those meddling kids!
JPK
 
I agree about ghosts and monsters but maybe on the God/Jesus religion thing maybe its best to let them make their own conclusions in later life.;)
 
Azrael 5 said:
I agree about ghosts and monsters but maybe on the God/Jesus religion thing maybe its best to let them make their own conclusions in later life.;)
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As long as you lay the foundations for critical thought so they can make a rational decision on it.

Lying to them about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny is not a good start if you want to raise a critical thinker.
 
Eventually, they'll reach the age where they start to challenge all beliefs either rationally or emotionally. That's when you can start to have open dialogue with them about your views.
 
My 5 year old asks, occasionally, why other kids in her class pray before lunch (I live in the Midwest).

My response: Some grownups like to tell kids to believe in silly things because it makes them feel better.

Start them early.
 
I have no children of my own but I have spoken to children about close friends who died. I told them that people live on in the minds of those who remember them.

There was an occasion when a child asked me why I did not go to the cemetary to see the grave of my grandmother. I told her again that my grandmother was gone forever and the grave means nothing to me. What really matters is the memory of my grandmother which I will always hold dear.

Another child whose mother firmly believes in ghosts and regularly see them in her own flat, came to me and told me in a serious tone that ghosts do not exist, do they? Of course I say no. It is interesting that I actually never talk about my skepticism in front of the children, but his parents must have done that, and apparently the existence of a skeptic among his adult friends was enough to give this 5-year old the courage to speak out - in private (his mother was not there) - his first skeptic thought!
 
There's a book I read called "The Tenth Good Thing About Barney" that seemed pretty good. It's probably appropriate for somewhere in the 4-6 years old range.

I saw its message as basically "who the hell knows, but even if there's no heaven then just being in the ground and helping things to grow isn't so bad."
 
If you're interested, the plot is basically that this kid's cat dies and he feels really sad. His mother tells him to think about ten good things about Barney, but he's only able to think of nine.
The next day they have a little memorial service (I'd say "non-denominational" is taken to new heights here). And they sing the only song they can think of that has anything to do with cats (I think it was about a pussy-willow).
Later, the girl next door says that Barney is in heaven drinking cream and having fun and they argue because the kid says Barney is in the ground.
Later, working in the garden, the father explains that everything changes in the ground and that Barney is helping plants to grow: a pretty important job for a cat.

At the end, they decide that this is the tenth good thing about Barney.
 
Phrost,

Lying to them about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny is not a good start if you want to raise a critical thinker.
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I tend to disagree. I've travelled the "santa" road with my children, and it's great watching my daughter slowly work it out. She's asked several times now about "the truth", and each time I put it back on her to explain to me what she believes, and why. She (so far) has chosen to keep the myth alive, but it's only a matter of time before she lets go - and it will have been a journey of self discovery.
 
Phrost said:
My 5 year old asks, occasionally, why other kids in her class pray before lunch (I live in the Midwest).

My response: Some grownups like to tell kids to believe in silly things because it makes them feel better.

Start them early.
Click to expand...

Except of course you are claiming knowlage that you don't in fact have.
 
What difference does it make anyway ?
You can't make them believe (or be sceptical) by what you tell them. They'll eventually make up their own mind on their own experience.
 
When I was four I got into big trouble for saying there was no God, because my teacher was said God made all of us, but I had a biological explanation.

Actually, I think I got in trouble for mentioning "sperms," but the pre-school was a priory and run by nuns, I think.
 
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