On the subject of prayer - I had an experience, which I still vividly remember, a very long time ago - when I was at the height of my xian phase.
I was around 16 years old and was a committed xian. I attended what can really only be described as a fundamentalist xian church. I had absolutely no doubt that I was on the right track.
One Sunday night (we had 2 services on a Sunday - what a drag!) a visiting preacher came from England to lead a service. He was 'a big name', very upbeat and charismatic and soon had everyone in the hall in the palm of his hand. Everyone got pretty excited, including me, as he whipped up a holy frenzy in the room.
Just then, at the peak of excitement, he announced that he was going to perform some healings and wanted sick people to step up to the front. A number of people (maybe 15 or so) stepped up to receive their 'healing'. I personally knew most of them.
Then, as a twist, he asked everyone who was 16 or under to come to the front of the hall. I went to the front, along with some of my friends. He said that, as it was god actually doing the healing, he wanted the children to pray for the sick people - he would merely show the children how to pray for the sick.
Me and my friends were hanging on every word by this stage and we felt sure that god would use us to heal people. My friend and I were given a sick person - a lady who claimed she was allergic to wheat products. (I can remember actually thinking 'this isn't much of a challenge!').
The preacher gave us a brief how-to in faith healing and left us to it.
We prayed for the lady and by the end we were certain she was healed. She told us she'd felt a warm glow as we were praying and was sure she was healed. We all left that night with a faith renewed and a spring in our step.
The following week I was at a church barbeque and was helping to serve up the grub when the 'healed' lady walked up to get some food. I proudly handed a hot dog to her, in a nice soft roll. She took the food and bit into it, as if to prove her healing. She then wandered off into the crowd.
I didn't see the lady then for a week or two but when I did I asked her if she was enjoying her new-found wheat freedom. She gave me a funny look but said that, yes, she was having great fun eating cakes etc.
Later that day my mum mentioned the lady to me, saying how pale and wasted she looked and wasn't it a pity about her having been rushed to hospital the previous week! I asked what had happened and my mum confirmed that the allergy had flared up big time and the lady had collapsed.
I was utterly deflated and immediately phoned the lady to find out why she never mentioned this to me - I could have prayed for her again for goodness sake! She sheepishly admitted that her 'healing' wasn't quite the success she had let me believe but that she was sure it was her lack of faith that was the problem. When I offered another prayer session she quickly made excuses - the woman was obviously terrified of having to go through all that suffering again.
This little anecdote was just one of the many incidents in my life that slowly began to re-shape my opinions of the world, leading eventually to my current opinion that there is no god and praying is just as Pixel42 (quoting Pratchett) says - pleading with thunderstorms.
I always made excuses for god when I was a xian. If prayer didn't work, well I suppose that's just me not understanding the 'big picture'. Mysterious ways and all that.
I eventually got sick of making excuses. Or as Henry Rollins once said, "You can put make-up on a pig, but it's still a pig." (or something like that)
I got off my knees and started to take responsiblity for my own life, instead of waiting for someone to lead it for me.
Seems to be working, so far.
