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Nomeopathy

vbloke said:
This reminds me of an idea I had a few years ago: Aromeopathy.

The basis is homeopathic remedies in a vapour form. You plug a vapouriser into the wall (the same sort of thing as those room fragrancers) with a homeopathic remedy in liquid form in the bottle.

You breathe deeply and get cured of whatever ails you.

Damn my morals...
Click to expand...


This would be a perfect and most likely profitable scam if you ditched the vaporizer and instead infused the product into a candle. Woo loves fire.
 
PixyMisa said:
For a while now I've been trying to come up with a scam product that is completely safe and delivers exactly what is promised, and today I think I cracked it.

Nomeopathy

What We Do:

  • Unlike conventional homeopathic remedies, where a tincture is diluted in water, shaken ("succussed") and then diluted again, perhaps as many as 100 times, we save you money and (according to homeopathy) guarantee the maximum possible effectiveness by not using a tincture in the first place.
  • Again, unlike conventional homeopathic remedies, we save you money by not applying the resultant remedy to sugar pills, or packing the sugar pills in bottles, or packing the bottle in a shipping carton.
  • The resultant remedy is so powerful (according to homeopathy) that we don't need to send you anything at all. Just place your order and enjoy the benefits.
How It Works:

  • You tell us what remedy you need, and send us money.
  • We pocket the money and tell you to see a real doctor.
  • All our products are 100% safe because they don't actually exist.
Money Back Guarantee:

  • Simply return any unused portion of the product, complete with original packaging, and we will gladly refund the full purchase price.
Click to expand...


Stay with your day job.
You are not remotely stupid enough to make this work.


ETA- I do like these though- http://skepticbros.com/placebo-bands/
 
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caniswalensis said:
This would be a perfect and most likely profitable scam if you ditched the vaporizer and instead infused the product into a candle. Woo loves fire.
Click to expand...

Even better, infuse it into the wick, let it evaporate, then coat the wick with ordinary wax and sell it as a homeopathic aromatherapy candle. You can tell it's effective because there isn't any aroma.

Dave
 
Pixy,

I would worry about product liability. The nocebo effect experienced by everyone who does not order your nomeopathic remedies could cause harm and even death. You might even lose a class action suit and be forced to give the claimiants nothing for free, which would certainly land you in nobankruptcy court.

Bob
 
Tired of the empty promises and no-cure solutions preached by nomeopathists?

Then try my revolutionary breakthrough therapy, OhmeopathyTM.

You see, electricity runs through everything. It's in the air we breathe, it's in the cells of your body, it's in that cheeseburger or tofu latte you're wolfing down. But through imbalanced electrolytic energy chain management, the body experiences chronic ailments like bowel obstructions, rheumatoid arthritis, and skepticism. We don't want that, do we? Do you want that? Do you want your CHILDREN to have that?

*pause, wait for crowd*

With my patented Ohmeopathic Therapy Kit Model Shockmaster 8000TM, you will introduce the life giving substance of electricity directly into your body. Simply place the Electrode NetTM around your heart, which is like your body's "battery" basically. I'm no scientist, but here's a guy in a lab coat. Plug the electrode leads into the Transformer/Livegiver UnitTM. Turn the unit on and relax as 2.5A of current wash over your heart, invigorating every system in your body! You'll never need another health product again!

*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. If you experience an erection lasting more than four hours, see a hooker and then a priest, in that order. The Ohmeopathic Therapy Kit Model Shockmaster 8000 is not designed to treat, or cure, any disease.
 
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JoeyDonuts said:
Tired of the empty promises and no-cure solutions preached by nomeopathists?

Then try my revolutionary breakthrough therapy, OhmeopathyTM.

You see, electricity runs through everything. It's in the air we breathe, it's in the cells of your body, it's in that cheeseburger or tofu latte you're wolfing down. But through imbalanced electrolytic energy chain management, the body experiences chronic ailments like bowel obstructions, rheumatoid arthritis, and skepticism. We don't want that, do we? Do you want that? Do you want your CHILDREN to have that?

*pause, wait for crowd*

With my patented Ohmeopathic Therapy Kit Model Shockmaster 8000TM, you will introduce the life giving substance of electricity directly into your body. Simply place the Electrode NetTM around your heart, which is like your body's "battery" basically. I'm no scientist, but here's a guy in a lab coat. Plug the electrode leads into the Transformer/Livegiver UnitTM. Turn the unit on and relax as 2.5A of current wash over your heart, invigorating every system in your body! You'll never need another health product again!

*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. If you experience an erection lasting more than four hours, see a hooker and then a priest, in that order. The Ohmeopathic Therapy Kit Model Shockmaster 8000 is not designed to treat, or cure, any disease.
Click to expand...

Better add:

Not responsible for death, disfigurement, loss of limb, bodily functions or involuntary excretion of bodily fluids.
 
I also need a spokesman. I'm thinking the Cos.

Only because he has a good sense for products that'll be around forever.

 
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