A TESTIMONIAL: LIFEGAZER WINS A GENUINE CONVERT
I have a testimonial to make; I have seen the light, my brain has enlarged, and I have embraced the Truth, with all the delightful consequences attendent upon doing so. I have Lifegazer to thank for this, and I wish now to testify towards the wonderful difference accepting his arguments can make for your existance too.
The realisation of the sheer power of realising we are all God hit me earlier today, when I was idly partaking of one of my minor hobbies at the supermarket: One can spends a few pleasurable moments in adding extra items into people's shopping baskets when their attention is elsewhere, you know... But as I was doing so, a memory of Lifegazer's comparison of what I was doing to Hitler returned into my consciousness. I started to ponder on how small what I was doing was... Indeed, how small even Hitler himself was. After all, whilst undoubtably Evil, once he'd killed all the Jews, the Communists, the Blacks, the disabled, the Romany, Americans, and anyone who sang that song about the Albert Hall, even Hitler might feel one day that'd he'd killed enough people... And is that Evil enough?
What we needed, I mused, was an ideology which encouraged you to not only hate certain other people, but one which taught you to hate everything, including yourself. And then it struck me, like a baby dropped from a skyscraper onto an old lady... We HAD such a "philosophy"... It was Lifegazer's philosophy! Why bother with petty racism, or sexism, or any other limited -ism you can concieve of, when you can just declare the cause of your anger is... everything! Just think; when there can only be one ultimate cause, which is everything, there will be no end to the things you can hate and destroy. In your face, Hitler! 12 million victims? Lifegazer has given us the universe to hate!
Now, I realise not all of you are arch-fiends like myself, and destroying everything may be a little beyond you: so here are the ways that embracing Lifegazer's "philosophy" can help YOU, the lowly mortal...
* Have you ever left work, with your boss's petty criticisms still ringing in your ears, and wished you'd said something smart back to him to put him in his place? Well, good news! It doesn't matter who you say it too, as everyone is God, and therefore your boss... Curse and swear at the next person you see!
* Someone cuts you up on the road, nearly killing you? After getting out of the car, punch the nearest person in the face... Take that, God! After all, it's all the same come singularity!
* Someone criticizes your thoughts on a web board? Firebomb the local nursing home... God won't be cricizing you again!
It's ALL Good... or rather, it's all GOD, so go wild!
Now, some of you serfs may be too afraid to embrace Universal Godhood, despite all the nasty things the Universe does to you... You are too trapped in the illusion of being Human, and being bound by Human conventions, to realise how much free choice you have. Some of you might even feel a little guilty about what this allows you to do; But look at it like this, however... Some of you feel dirty about masturbating too. Yet who is anyone else to tell you how you can treat yourself, right? They are your bits, to do with as you wish, aren't they?
Well, guess what?! Not only are other people actually you/God, but there isn't anyone else to say what you can do with these bits of yourself! Treat them as you wish! Tell yourself what a naughty God you are for doing it, if that makes it more exciting for you, but the only limitations are the ones you apply to yourself...! Knock yourself out... or rather, knock the other yourself out!
And if you STILL feel trapped in servitude, well all you need to do is place your hand upon your forehead and say "I forgive you". And being God yourself, away goes the guilt!
Ahhh... can't you just see it now?! An almost Hobbsian state of nature, every day the most unimaginable evils committed... and we owe it all to Lifegazer! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! For what the world is about to recieve, I thank you from the bottom of my twisted, black heart!