Most boring election ever.

[The Atheist]

Amidst the worldwide excitement of the US election, complete with its sideshow of Northern Maine having a quickie election in the middle of it all, the fact that NZ is about to have a general election has been lost amongst the noise.

While America's election has been described as the "Most important in a generation", our election could best be described as the least-important and most-boring election in history.

Longstanding PM, St Helen Clark of Mt Albert, Champion of the Poor, Protector of Workers' Rights, Defender of Women's Rights, our dearly beloved and very man-like leader, is about to be kncoked off her perch by possibly the most boring man in the universe.

Aside from having less colour than a jellyfish, having a voice like a little boy sulking and being Jewish, our Prime Minister-designate John Key is personally responsible for causing the 2008 Global Financial Crash! (He once did a swaps deal with Lehman Brothers when he was employed by JP Morgan.) He is so dense that he doesn't remember who he went to university with, what island/province/country he represented at squash, or what he told his ministers to say this morning.

Fortunately, the country being but a pimple on the forgotten anal gland of the universe, winning the New Zealand Prime Minstership carries all the global importance of dog-catcher in Seoul. In tourist terms, it is the equivalent of a week's holiday in Liverpool instead of a month in Monte Carlo. (Or more appropriately, a month in Liverpool and 5 minutes in Monte Carlo)

I believe some political advertising may have taken place during the past month and that the vote is this coming Saturday. Some people may have even noticed, but if there's any been a more boring election, contested by more boring candidates, please let me know.

 

[lionking]

Last I read, there will need to be a coalition for any party to form government, so which loony parties are likely to share government?

 

[The Atheist]

Last I read, there will need to be a coalition for any party to form government, so which loony parties are likely to share government?

Unlikely to be needed - at least everyone is hoping to christ not.

Labour stitched up the oddest alliance ever to govern for the last three years and people are well sick of the double-dealing that goes on in coalitions, so a good solid one-party rule will do for a while.

Scary election news is that the Greenmunists are likely to get 10% of the vote! Them on one side and the Apartheid Party (Maori) on the other - I almost wish I were there.

 

[CFLarsen]

While there is much more excitement about the elections in North Korea, Cuba, Libya...

 

[plumjam]

*yawn*

 

[Ivor the Engineer]

<snip>

Labour stitched up the oddest alliance ever to govern for the last three years and people are well sick of the double-dealing that goes on in coalitions, so a good solid one-party rule will do for a while.

<snip>

Has anyone warned the electorate that the Labour party is crammed full of (brace yourself) Socialists?

 

[The Atheist]

Has anyone warned the electorate that the Labour party is crammed full of (brace yourself) Socialists?

Yes indeed.

St Helen has painted herself as a Socialist from the very first time she spoke publicly about her political beliefs and has taken great pains to show herself as the Ultimate Socialist Leader & Reformer^TM this election. The only force able to counter the evil of the Mammon-driven National Party and John Shylock Key, Devourer of Babies & Pension Funds.

Believe it or not, socialism is seen as a good thing in NZ - it's the right-wingnut, fascist scum we don't like. They all moved to Australia, thank god.

 

[Fitter]

<snip>

While America's election has been described as the "Most important in a generation", our election could best be described as the least-important and most-boring election in history.
<snip>

I don't know about that. In October Canada set a pretty low standard for you to match.

 

[The Atheist]

I don't know about that. In October Canada set a pretty low standard for you to match.

Must be a Commonwealth thing. The last Aussie election wasn't exactly riveting. The most controversial thing I saw was a video of Rudd picking his nose.

At least it wasn't someone else's...

 

[aerosolben]

I witnessed a friend's NZ ballot a week or two ago. I find it somewhat glorious that there are only 2 votes on your ballot, after having 40 or so on mine.

 

[lionking]

Yes indeed.

St Helen has painted herself as a Socialist from the very first time she spoke publicly about her political beliefs and has taken great pains to show herself as the Ultimate Socialist Leader & Reformer^TM this election. The only force able to counter the evil of the Mammon-driven National Party and John Shylock Key, Devourer of Babies & Pension Funds.

Believe it or not, socialism is seen as a good thing in NZ - it's the right-wingnut, fascist scum we don't like. They all moved to Australia, thank god.

And that's why we are hoping for a Key victory so that the situation is reversed.

 

[The Atheist]

And that's why we are hoping for a Key victory so that the situation is reversed.

Well, you can put the house on it.

See if I can get this election as close as I called the US one (exactly right)

National Party wins 63 seats in a 124 seat parliament, their allies Act get 3 and United 1, giving them a nice majority of 66 - 57 after providing the Speaker.

 

[gumboot]

The only force able to counter the evil of the Mammon-driven National Party and John Shylock Key, Devourer of Babies & Pension Funds.

I beat you to the punch with an NZ election thread, but this is the second time today I've heard John Key referred to as a devourer of babies. Do you know the story behind that manly label? I must confess to avoiding any sort of election media coverage like the plague. It gives me hives.

 

[The Atheist]

I beat you to the punch with an NZ election thread, but this is the second time today I've heard John Key referred to as a devourer of babies.

Well, he is Jewish. Where's the other thread?

Do you know the story behind that manly label? I must confess to avoiding any sort of election media coverage like the plague. It gives me hives.

Has it been used elsewhere? Haven't seen any coverage either. Hives would be mild in comparison. Thank god all the billboards will be down tomorrow - I believe Labour's were sponsored by PhotoShop.

 

[Damien Evans]

Yes indeed.

St Helen has painted herself as a Socialist from the very first time she spoke publicly about her political beliefs and has taken great pains to show herself as the Ultimate Socialist Leader & Reformer^TM this election. The only force able to counter the evil of the Mammon-driven National Party and John Shylock Key, Devourer of Babies & Pension Funds.

Believe it or not, socialism is seen as a good thing in NZ - it's the right-wingnut, fascist scum we don't like. They all moved to Australia, thank god.

AH, but we then kicked them off to Earls Court.

 

[Darth Rotor]

Well, he is Jewish. Where's the other thread?

Has it been used elsewhere? Haven't seen any coverage either. Hives would be mild in comparison. Thank god all the billboards will be down tomorrow - I believe Labour's were sponsored by PhotoShop.

Are there enough CT loons in New Zealand to proclaim this new PM as part of the NWO taking over the land of Kiwis and great rubgy players?

DR

 

[The Atheist]

Are there enough CT loons in New Zealand to proclaim this new PM as part of the NWO taking over the land of Kiwis and great rubgy players?

DR

I've been trying!

I've got the WNs to hate him already by emphasising his Jewishness, but I don't think the CTists - of which there are plenty - have cottoned on just yet. Then again, they make the skinheads and rejects of WN-dom look like geniuses, so maybe after he's elected...

We have our very own head conspiracist bloke even.

 

[gumboot]

Well, he is Jewish. Where's the other thread?

The Jewish thing explains the baby eater thing. It all makes sense now. I've been missing out.

My thread is here but nowhere near as entertaining as your thread. People might mistakenly conclude, from my thread, that us kiwis are serious about politics.

Has it been used elsewhere? Haven't seen any coverage either.

I've run across about four or five unrelated references to him as a baby devourer in the last couple of days, and my friend I was talking to last night had heard it before too. Seems to have a common theme to it.

Hives would be mild in comparison. Thank god all the billboards will be down tomorrow - I believe Labour's were sponsored by PhotoShop.

Hah! So true. Fortunately locals have decided to make their own contributions to most of the billboards around here. Quite a few of the ones around here are already down, as well. Just a stray gust of wind, I'm sure.

 

[The Atheist]

People might mistakenly conclude, from my thread, that us kiwis are serious about politics.

Kee-rist, you wouldn't want that. People would be questioning your sanity.

I've run across about four or five unrelated references to him as a baby devourer in the last couple of days, and my friend I was talking to last night had heard it before too. Seems to have a common theme to it.

Bastards been reading my blogs!

Hah! So true. Fortunately locals have decided to make their own contributions to most of the billboards around here. Quite a few of the ones around here are already down, as well. Just a stray gust of wind, I'm sure.

Actually, there have been a few humorous changes to some of them even.

Makes a nice change from the standard penises drawn on the faces.

I have a lovely story from Westie-land - Green Bay. I drove down Godley Rd and every single political sign had been defaced.

Except for Green Party ones.

 

[gtc]

NZ First is out, they only needed another 16,600 votes to pick up some list seats.

The less popular ACT and the much less popular Maori Party get 5 seats each and Jim Anderton and Peter Dunne won their seats.


Oh, and Key is the new PM.